On Satire Bits: Vol. 22

A crazy week for me so far. I left Sunday to fly to a small city in Iowa. Tuesday morning I got up at a ridiculous hour to start the return trip home so I could be back in time for golf league. Flights and the drive were fine, but the golf is the worst I’ve played in some time. Maybe being tired affected my game, but I felt fine. I hate lousy golf!

Well, being in Iowa is why I have been at many of your sites in a few days. Nonetheless, let’s get some mid-week satire. A few weeks ago I shifted through the archive at The Onion looking for dog headlines. Well, cats have demanded equal time. Enjoy the mid-week chuckle. Any favorite?

Owner Pleads with Cat to Respect Fuzzy Object

Cat Taught not to Sleep in Wok

Independent Bookstore Acquires Cat

Inspiring Cat Overcomes Prejudice to Win Westminster Dog Show

Local Cat Attempts World Record for Things Sat On

Area Cat Allergic to Area Man Named Kevin

Raccoon, Cat, Can’t Remember What They Were Fighting About

Evil Genius Cat Subpoened

Cat Fancy Magazine Blasts Area Kitten

Cat Prepare for Anal Display in Owner’s Face

Papal Apartment Found Filled with Old Newspapers, Empty Pill Bottles, and Mangy Cats

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62 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 22

  1. I like the one about the cat being taught not to sleep in a wok. I have mine on a hanging rack so a cat would have to sleep vertically. How was Iowa? I have never been there but it looks beautiful from what I saw in that Meryl Streep movie xx

    • Spiced,
      But as you know, if the wok was on the floor, it would be the bed! I was in eastern Iowa, which is not a continuous flat land of corn fields. With the hills and bluffs with the Mississippi River, it is quite scenic. Thanks for asking, so here’s an interesting tidbit.

  2. Hi,
    Tired sounds like a good excuse for a bad day at golf, I would stick with that one, after all you were on a early flight. :D

    “Owner Pleads with Cat to Respect Fuzzy Object”
    OMG the mind boggles.

    “Area Cat Allergic to Area Man Named Kevin”
    That is hilarious, this would be funny to a few Aussies (political)

    “Evil Genius Cat Subpoened”
    My friend owns this cat.

  3. not sure about anyone but me – of course – but i make my selection by how hard and/or loud i laugh. unfortunately, the anal display got me the most.

        • right now i have a dog. 6 months ago they said she had maybe a month to live. 14 yr old. after she goes, no more pets. done with it.

        • yes, it is. having them is difficult too. i’m leaving tomorrow for a week in florida, and i hate arranging for someone to watch the dog. i feel like i’m greatly imposing on people. in this case, someone is coming to stay here. i hate other people staying in my house when i’m not here. but it was the only option this time. my typcial electric bill is about 90 a month in the summer. one year i had a $300 bill because the girl who stayed here – daughter’s friend – must’ve ran the AC the entire time. and i had to pay her $100 on top of that.

        • i’d be fine with a cat. but only 1. but i prefer nothing at this point because we (fortunately) have places to go, and pets hinder that.

  4. just realized that when we were recently discussing the women of CNN, we didn’t mention erin burnett. thoughts? from certain angles, she looks like steve carell in a wig. and other angles, amazing.

  5. Hi there! So you went through DBQ… well, you’ll be happy to know I’ve added it to my posts and it will go live on 6/28 @ 17:00 CST. So you know I’m counting on you to add something amusing and witty as my first comment on this airport! :) No rush, but it would be greatly appreciated.

    I love golf, but I’m not good at it. The only time I made a hole-in-one was when my husband’s friends said they’d give me $50 if I could make it up on the green….wonder what that says about me? Ha. Cheers. I’ll check back in now and again. Deborah

  6. I’d have to go with cat wins westminster. Taught not to sleep in will is funny, but to unbelievable. You can’t teach them anything.
    Hope your golf form comes back to you!

    • Guapo,
      Ah yes … a cat winning Westminster would create quite a stir in NYC! Meanwhile, Mags said blaming “being tired” would a good one for bad golf .. but I was horrible and it is getting in my head (which golf usually doesn’t). Thanks for commenting.

  7. Welcome back home dear Frank, seems that you had a nice travel. Iowa… I know but you know I haven’t been USA… but how strange as if I know… I feel like that but should be because of so many films, etc. To live in there should be the best thing to know. By they way, you don’t take any pictures… I wondered now. I am so sorry for the game, but next time you will win. I am sure. About cats… they are all amazing, I am thinking which one is mine… My cat is very snoopy, like Charlie Brown’s cat :) and also she is like the aristocrat of ancient Egypt… so why I call her “My Princess”… Thank you dear Frank, have a nice day, love, nia

    • Nia,
      Cats are quite curious! :) …. yet, the rule the land (like Princess). I took a couple of pictures in Iowa with my phone, but I haven’t looked at them yet. LOL … Thanks for commenting.

  8. Cat Prepare for Anal Display in Owner’s Face

    I know this cat, I do. He doesn’t have a tail and prances rather than slinks through my house displaying proudly while howling his displeasure at my disinterest.

    You and my husband, seeking any excuse for a bad golf day. Is this like a bad hair day but with clubs?

    • Valentine,
      Cat owners know them all too well! Good choice.

      As for the golf, I’m not the complaining type – nor am I one who let’s the game get to me 99% of the time. However, you analogy to a bad hair day is a good one. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

  9. Since I’ve mentioned in my blog a few times that we have a dog that thinks it’s a cat, I can see the sense in this one – “Inspiring Cat Overcomes Prejudice to Win Westminster Dog Show”. We live in strange times.

  10. “Raccoon, Cat, Can’t Remember What They Were Fighting About”
    Sounds like you have been busy. Sorry to hear about the bad golf. I guess golf isn’t like fishing even a bad day of fishing is good. I unserstand when it is a sport part of the fun is doing better and better.

    • Starla,
      The two fighting is a good one! Meanwhile, golf to me is much like you describe for fishing. But right now, I’m in a funk. Not only not playing to my own standards (which is reasonable), but I can’t see an end in sight. Yikes! Thanks for stopping by.

      • Sorry about the funk. Funny thing about funks they often come with the feelings of “no end in sight.” Hope your funk transforms into…..super funk wait that doesn’t make sense. Oh well maybe not making sense goes along with the day. I guess like they use to say “Keep on Tucking.” Boy that is an old saying. :+)

        • I’m sorry it’s so Hot! I’m sure I will be singing the blues next month. For now it’s pleasent but I know it will change when we go back to Central Montana.

        • A lot of people are having drought conditions. Also so many fires! It’s been a little over cast but I try and not conplain as I know the alternative is dire. Lots of rain here so the fires will be held back for a few months. I hope it will not be a bad fire season. Because of beatle kill on the tress there are a lot of dead trees in the forests.

        • Yes Colorado, that is terrible! There is one fire in Montana that I know of in Helena area that tends to be a very dry and hot area. It is common to have fires in that area.

  11. “Inspiring Cat Overcomes Prejudice to Win Westminster Dog Show”–just give it time! Someday…

    Remember the days when we could be so busy and away from home, not concerned that we weren’t keeping up with blog reading? I try not to say these things outloud in front of my family, but I do think about it! I think you do amazingly well! Sorry about the golf, though! D

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