On Satire Bits: Vol. 30

Tonight was the final night in this season’s golf league. There was some rain to accompany the fall conditions that found us starting the night in first place by a slim 1.5 points. By the end of the evening, our lead was 9 – thus my partner and I are the reigning champions! Plus, each of us may have also captured the two individual awards – but we won’t know until the league secretary does the calculations.

Interestingly, my wife’s team was also victorious this year, so our household is in golf glory!

Enough of golf, let’s get on with the mid-week dose of satire from The Onion. Which is your favorite? Have a good rest of the week.

Area Couple has Mind-Blowing Ego Validation

Guy Who Dates Many Women Really Likes Kisses

Girl Friend Refers to Fan as Audience

Line Foreman Considering Asking Out Cute Welding Robot

Horrible Couple Wants Wedding to Reflect their Personalities

Doctor-Patient Relationship Getting Serious

Wedding DJ Finally Gets Chance to Listen to Black Eyed Peas on Own Time

Party Guy Finds Party Wife

Funky First-Date Idea: Ram Car through Military Checkpoint

New York Yankees Build New Vacation Stadium in the Hamptons

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64 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 30

  1. Let’s see – I’ve sort-of tried the First-Date Idea, sans the ramming and a girlfriend, so I think I’ve got to let my geek flag fly and go for the Foreman Asking Out The Welding Robot. After all. robots need love, too! :D
    So, a household of golf champs, eh? Who was it that said “Golf is a beautiful walk spoiled by a little white ball?” (or words to that effect).
    Did you realise today was the birthday of Olivia Neutron-Bomb … er … Newton-John AND Linda Hamilton? Dang, what a lucky day! ;)

    • John,
      Regardless how I play, my golf enjoyment rate is well over 90% because I’m one who doesn’t let the little white ball get to me. Meanwhile, I didn’t realize the birthdays … thanks for the choosing the robot and for commenting.

  2. Congratulations with the family’s victories. As for the satiric punch lines, I think the girl friend’s audience is my pick. By the way I take it you have recovered from the big party?

    • Otto,
      Outside of winning in a couple’s league, I think this is the first time this happened to us at the same time. :) Regarding the party —- whew —- it took a while, but I’m about back to normal. Thanks for attending the bash and for visiting here.

  3. Congrats on the golf. I got banned from a course in Florida – and I wasn’t even playing! I might do a post about that.
    Some good Onions, but my fav has to be “Horrible Couple Wants Wedding to Reflect their Personalities”. I think I got an invite to that one ;)

    • Val,
      Very true as you were encouraging me to have faith in what my results can be! Many thanks for the positive vibes! Meanwhile, The Onion is a hoot — although so many of their headlines today are about the election – which is fine, but I’ve been generally avoiding them here. Thanks for commenting.

  4. Congrats with the golf victories, Frank. Glad I wasn’t playing the organ for the Horrible Couple’s wedding. Who knows what music they would have requested? I don’t play horrible music. :)

  5. Congrautions to both of you that must be exciting to both be winners at the same time. :+) I guess I’m feeling indesive today. I keep going back and forth on onion picks. I see most commenters picked the couple so maybe Iwill go with the crowd today. It makes me wonder what their other wedding choices would have been and why are they so horrible?

  6. Golf, would love to play really .. and I have tried and had very good teachers, but I’m too impatient and not concentered enough. Too much going on around me that I have to look at. Glad both you and your wife play … and for the enjoyment. Good end of the week to you too. Time for Zumba tonight.

  7. As you know, I am so far removed from the culture you live in, that I usually am left cold and unknowing when reading your satirical favorites. Still, I try occasionally, and don’t comment if I don’t understand. Though I know nothing about sports in general, nor about gold in particular, I don’t have much to comment on this post, but I do know that it can be a pleasure to win at any game, and so let me offer my congratulations.

    • Shimon,
      No need to apologize for anything here as you consistently demonstrate much wisdom and respect. Our golf leagues are meant to be a social with a sense of competitiveness. Meanwhile, we’ll continue to work on the satire. ;) Thanks for commenting.

  8. Not sure which headline I like best, but that article about the insufferable couple who wanted their wedding to reflect their personalities was absolutely hilarious.

    Congrats on the win!

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