A year ago, the hearts of many were heavy as we received word of the passing of an outstanding lady that my wife and I were lucky to know and call friend.
We last saw her at handbell practice in early November after returning from a week-long Caribbean cruise. She was fighting chest congestion for a month, thus at the end of rehearsal, my wife and another ringer convinced her to escalate her troubles. Later that week she went to the hospital, received X-rays, was admitted, and never returned home.
Being gracious, funny, and a good one to kid, those that knew her, loved her. No matter what she did, she always gave it her best, and with the ability to laugh at herself … and, much too young to leave the living.
We, and the family, thought she would be home for Thanksgiving or shortly thereafter, but the lung cancer was too aggressive and too advanced. I can’t recall ever crying for so many consecutive days – not for any friends or my grandparents, aunts, uncles, or parents. It was very hard for us in this house, and it also impacted our entire holiday season.
Nonetheless, we grabbed our bootstraps, and focused on her husband because that is something we could do here and now. I’m proud of him as he’s done well, and I’m happy with the little part that I’ve played.
Today is the first anniversary of her passing – thus, why I couldn’t do a cartoon post. She wouldn’t be much for the today’s hub-bub, thus would be fussy with me to post as normal – but that’s ok, she’s not here to stop me … besides, I can use this to kid her again!
I’ve thought a lot of her this week, and even write this with tears – but it’s something I had to do for a good lady.
A few days after her funeral, I posted this tribute to her, as I share a constant reminder I have of her. Besides, I know I’m a better person today because of her role of a portion of my life – but my wife and I still miss her.
Her funeral was difficult for the entire handbell choir as she was one of us, besides, her husband asked us to play. I still recall the difficulty of that rehearsal for the entire choir, but also his strength and pride through his smile as we concluded at the funeral.
Today is a good time to share this beautiful version of Beside Still Waters we played with heavy hearts for our friend and handbell colleague.
Meanwhile, “Hey up there – how are the butterflies?” (actually, an inside joke for her that I couldn’t resist)
This is a very touching and poignant piece–thanks for sharing. It is even more powerful to me since my mother died earlier this month. The holidays will be hard, but I appreciate your reminder that we need to focus on living each day so we can get to the next holiday–and still share private jokes with the loved ones who are gone. Thanks.
Patti,
Sorry to hear about your recent loss … yet here you are, not far removed from a grieving event, and pointing to the positive aspects of this post …. so thank you! Strength to you in the days ahead and my positive memories aid your healing.
A profound and insightful tribute to a dear friend. My father passed away around this time last year so your thoughts come at the right time for me. We grieve for their passing, but we have been so bless with their presence while they were with us…Thank you so much!!!
Clan,
I so much a believe that memories are an important part of the healing process – just as you said, to realize “we have been so bless with their presence while they were with us.” Thanks for sharing your story and strength to you during this time.
How lucky we are to have good friends…..a beautiful tribute.
Debra,
Very true. I’ve always said the most important decision in life is who we pick as friends. Thanks for commenting.
What a lovely tribute and it’s so lovely that you have brought her memory to life. It is always so difficult when we lose someone who has had a significant and positive influence in our lives xx
Spiced,
Well said … and thanks for visiting and the support!
She sounds like such a wonderful person……so special of you to pay tribute to her memory on the anniversary of her passing…..It’s good to stop and say “ Hi..how are the butterflies up there”……May little invisible butterflies lift your heart today..:)
Zannyro,
This lady was a hoot. Not as a comic funny, but her personality was genuine, but even pushy at times, which in her own way was funny! Hope you read the linked post I did a year ago. Thanks for the good thoughts!
Frank,
You are a good man who is paying a lovely tribute to a wonderful woman.
Le Clown
Le Clown,
Merci … well, probably the only French I know … Thanks for stopping by.
What a wonderful post about a good friend that has passed on… Frank I have a new found respect for you… love it…
Bulldog,
Thank you. She has been on my mind all week, thus today was something I had to do for myself. Thanks for the kind words.
Frank- This is a beautiful tribute to a dear friend. Blessings.
Cayman,
Many thanks for taking the time with the kind words! …. and good luck to your Dolphins this weekend.
Thank you Frank. I can always count on the Cincinnati Kid to class up my sports.
A beautiful tribute Frank. Those special people never really leave us, do they? They are a part of us and even though we miss them, we know we were blessed to have them in our lives.
Colline,
Your last sentence is powerful! – so thanks for taking the time to stop by and share it.
It is that thought which sustains me when I think of those that I have loved too much and lost.
A wonderful belief system, and may your words strengthen anyone today or tomorrow that needs much comfort.
so sorry about your loss–but you sound like you were very lucky to have her in your life and your wife’s — a lovely tribute Frank
LouAnn,
I appreciate your words, and yes – lucky to have her in our life. Hope you read the link within the post. Thanks for commenting.
Nice tribute to your friend Frank. Losing loved ones is never easy. It’s a big downside to being human.
Lame,
Well said about the pluses and minuses about being human. Interestingly, on the one year anniversary, we just received an invitation from the family for a holiday open house. Wow … and the fact that they sent it today speaks volumes. Thanks for visiting.
Very meaningful timing of that invitation. For me mourning, healing and moving forward often occur simultaneously, but there are memories of some loved ones that I’ll carry with me forever. I hope there’s much happiness at the gathering to offset the sad.
I’m confident the event will be a joyous one!
You have given your friend such a nice tribute and now we all have the chance to learn of her through your site. That is truly a special gift. Well done.
Renee,
A special lady indeed. Many thanks for the kind kind words.
What an amazing woman she must have been to have such an impact on you. The handbells seem the perfect instrument to carry melancholy though I have enjoyed them on here in more joyful circumstances.
Cuttlefish,
A simple lady with a huge heart, a feisty side, and a sense of humor. Glad you listened to the handbells … and yes, that song is fitting … just a mix of melancholy and joy through reflection. Thanks for visiting and commenting.
I didn’t know her, but having met her through your words, I think she’d forgive you this one transgression. And what better send-off than with the handbells she herself loved so much?
Well done, indeed.
An excellent tribute – I can even hear the catches in your voice.
John E,
I don’t know if you recall me readily mentioning the sudden battle last year … then posting the tribute post that I linked here. Thanks for the kind words … and on this anniversary day – it’s been a good one. Plus, see my reply to Lame. Thanks again!
a beautiful memorial… I think this is the first time I have listened to hand bells in concert…
Shimon,
Many thanks for listening … and I hope you enjoyed the beautiful song. Much can be done with handbells (and I hope to have a special post for that in the near future). Thanks for your kindness.
I have *liked* the post. I can’t like the situation, but I like the way you’ve presented this lady, and her unfortunate passing.
Archon,
I know what you mean about the Like button. In the big scheme, everyone has made progress! Thanks for the kind words.
when i began to read, i thought you said “handball” practice. i have a feeling she would have gotten a laugh from that. nicely done.
Rich,
Even in this serious post, your comment is still funny! Thanks for sharing and causing a smile!
You’re a very good friend, Frank. It must have been truly shocking to have a dear friend go into the hospital and then not return home. It’s a lovely tribute you’ve shared. She was obviously someone special, and I’m certain your care and compassion to her husband has made a huge difference for him over this year. Blessings.
Debra,
She was 56, thus the part of the unexpected shock. Nonetheless, many thoughts of her make me laugh! Thanks for the kind words!
Beautiful, loving tribute for an absent friend, Frank. I love the photograph — it’s as if she is just waiting to pick them up again. And she probably is.
Elyse,
I set the table up at the funeral. After we played, and during the opening hymn, the table came down and the daughter got the rose. Thanks for commenting.
I’m sure she would have been touched, and I’m sure her daughter was comforted.
The daughter surprised her dad yesterday. They went to the cemetery, and then she says – let’s decorate and we’re planning a party. I got the invitation yesterday, which was great!
This is lovely Frank. So lucky to have good friends to remember in such a loving and wonderful way. Sometimes I think the generosity of our spirit in our remembrance is a reflection of how well we have chosen our friends in life. Clearly you chose well.
Val,
One of the most rewarding things for me in this post is the bountiful of great comments – such as your second sentence. Well said! …. and thanks for sharing.
What a lovely tribute to your dear friend, Frank. She must have been a very special person. I really enjoyed the ‘Handbell Concert’ video. Thanks for sharing.
Paradise,
Thanks for the kind words …. and glad you enjoyed the song as it is a beautiful one. Thanks for visiting.
Well said Frank – a lovely tribute.
GFB,
After all, I imagine most of us have someone similar in our life. Thanks for commenting.
We should be grateful that we do Frank.
Well said!
What touched me the most is the love you’ve expressed. It feels like her physical body is not with you, but she’s in your heart. Some people shine even thought they’re not here.
Rachel,
Thank you. She’s very much in our heart. Although we miss her, I can see that many more thoughts of her causes me to smile than not! Thanks for sharing your kind words.
What a heartwarming loving tribute Frank. It’s awfully sad and hard to understand when someone who is only 56 dies so fast… I’m listening to the beautiful music as I write this… it must’ve been an amazing addition to your friend’s funeral.
Rosie,
… and it worked. Plus it is a beautiful song that was fitting for the occasion. Thanks for commenting.
I’m still amazed that the choir got throughout without breaking down. I recall getting emotional early, and telling myself NOT NOW …PLAY.