Mid-week has brought a change in Cincinnati weather. Then again, it’s still mild. And yes – I delivered the report to the client on time! But now, I have to get caught up on some housework.
Let’s get on to the mid-week dose of satire. Any favorites?
Obese Salmon Unable to Swim Upstream to Spawn
Wild Fall-Break Parties Pose Risks for College Students
Back of Library Smells Like Weed
Nation did not see Mark Walberg’s Sex Change Coming
Dripping Wet 7-year-old boards Hotel Elevator
Thousands of Americans Trapped in Animal Horders Marathon
Co-workers Girlfriend not as Pretty as Expected
Everyone in Improv Troupe Balding
Report: Majority of Americans Stopped Paying Attention Several Words Ago
Personal Trainer Makes Area Man do Humiliating Little Show for Entire Gym
Music Album: The 25 Most Popular Restroom Sing-a-Long Songs
Generally entertaining, but no grabber for me.
(Though I will embarrassedly admit that I did google to see if Marky Mark actually did get a sex change.)
(And all Google hits referenced The Onion.)
Guapo,
Oh that’s great … cheers for The Onion stimulating the thought! Thanks for good chuckle!
So did I, I fell for that one.
Doggy,
That’s a sign of good satire! Thanks for visiting.
I think my favorite is the one that starts “Report:” but I forget the rest. What were you asking? ; )
Patti,
LOL …. and I almost fell for it. Very good and thanks for sharing.
Ooo, the “back of the library” one brings up memories of a certain stairwell in college – I think you could’ve gotten high just walking through there, even with a gas mask on! But I gotta go with the report that stopped listening. Kinda reflects my viewpoints on SO many things these days – politics, economics, most of the dreck on TV, …..
Yeah, we got a couple of cold days coming, then a deja-vu like return to our “Sandy’s near miss” weather – 50s and drippy, for like 5 days. Ya know, ME weather, namely grey, mildly irritating, and occasionally utterly depressing!
Happy Hump Day!
John,
Washington really has encouraged everyone to stop listening … even themselves! Meanwhile, tonight’s weather talked about how mucho rain is on the way. Then again, that’s subject to change. As I mentioned not long ago, my corner of the state could use some rain! … Have a good rest of the week and thanks for sharing your wit.
Library for me Frank
GFB,
I was wondering how popular that one would be. Thanks for stopping by.
Love the satire on attention spans.
I also thought of a headline based on an article this week on the religion/science front.
“Scientist steals Pat Robertson’s Children after big fight.”
The actual article could have come straight out of the onion itself – but it was in the Huffington Post.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/28/pat-robertson-creationism-earth-is-not-6000-years-old_n_2207275.html
Mobius,
Now that is some article … thanks for the link because PR has thrown me for a loop on this one. Love your idea for The Onion! That is so good it should be submitted to them. So who gets the that task: you or I? Oh … and good choice of fav, too! Thanks for sharing.
If yo want to submit it go a ahead. Glad you liked it.
On first look at their page, whew … gonna be a challenge to get through.
The Library one was good but my winner has to be “Report: Majority of Americans Stopped Paying Attention Several Words Ago”
Fasab,
That is a painful headline for those of us who write too much. Thanks for commenting.
At least someone is using the library. *giggles*
Renee,
… I wonder how long libraries will last … then again, the ones close to me are bustling with activity … Nonetheless, a popular choice for the day. Thanks for stopping by.
the library weed almost got me to laugh. nothing else. i’m surprised. oh well. rather read a bad joke than no joke.
Rich,
Good choice as it has been one of the most popular picks today. Please consider (in the future) what Curmudgeon did in his comment. Thanks for visiting.
nuly doted.
Right up your alley!
will definitely consider that in the future. thanks, curmudg- crumug- thanks dude.
Good morning Frank! Unlike Guapo, I found several ‘grabbers’.
Obese Salmon Unable to Swim Upstream to Spawn answers a lot of questions for me, and I seriously mean a lot.
I’ve actually experienced Co-workers Girlfriend not as Pretty as Expected, more than once! It always kinda raises my opinion of him.
And I’ll also go along with the popular Back of Library Smells Like Weed. There’s also a section which smells like Doritos, for afterwards….
Yo Alex … how ya been?
Good choices … but I enjoy all the personal references! Thanks for the afternoon grins.
“Obese salmon” should make a fine dinner.
Love the idea of “Restroom singalongs.” 
Do you think it would catch on?
Paradise,
Finally … and thank you for enjoying the Restroom Sing-a-longs headline. OK … it’s our musical side that enjoys it. Meanwhile, the obese salmon is a popular pick today. Thanks for sharing your favs!
It’s between the obese salmon and the smelly library. Decisions, decisions…
Very funny!
Carrie,
Those are today’s front-runners, so they must be good! Thanks for stopping by.
Thanks for this week’s satirical words. My favourite would have to be the report – and of course I liked Patti Ross’ response to it.
Otto,
The funny part is that I almost answered her question … but I did say almost. I too loved her comment! Thanks for stopping by and I hope all is well with you!
I think they’re all really clever. It’s hard for me to pick a favorite. Hmm…I like the Personal Trainer one!
Bumble,
Thanks for stopping by.
Just so you know, I do this feature on many Wednesdays. After all, there’s always something that will bring a chuckle to most people. … So … I wonder if your a gym person who has seen this event.
I stopped paying attention to myself several words ago.
I think you should allow combinations:
“Obese salmon did not see Mark Walberg’s sex change coming.”
Mudge,
That is fabulous … actually, you’re the second one I’ve received today, which is two more than ever! We may be onto something!!! Thanks for sharing the idea … and the chuckle!
The one that got me frowning and saying huh was
“Dripping Wet 7-year-old boards Hotel Elevator”
Rosie,
Thanks for visiting.
I wonder how many travelers have encounters dripping wet kids on hotel elevators? Then again, that’s probably a rare event!
I have been both a wet kid AND a wet adult in the hotel (not-so-luxurious, granted), so I’ve seen it happen. Best one I inflicted, though, was when I was working at Road America, a race track in central Wisconsin. There was a big race, I managed to get the weekend off at the last minute, and the closest accommodation was a business hotel in Milwaukee. So as all the suits, IN suits, are gathered at the hotel bar, I walk right past them to the front desk, dressed in a sweaty white T-shirt, dirty white jeans, and no doubt smelling to high heaven! Sci-fi fans just make “mundanes” do a double-take – I managed to get wrinkled noses!
John,
You remain a treasure trove of stories.
Everyone in Improv Troupe Balding–homage to my favorite SNL veterans! Glad you’re back to do the household chores…a must this time of year!
Debra,
Given the number of baby boomers who visit here, I’m surprised that has been cheer for yet! Good choice!!! Meanwhile, time to clean the bathrooms. Thanks for stopping by.
I would love to see an obese salmon. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an obese fish. And thanks for saying you’d love me to be your neighbour! That would be wonderful. Maybe you could teach me to dance! xx
Spiced,
No kidding about obese fish … must be known because of the constant exercise they get! Meanwhile, the dance for food concept cracks me up! Thanks for stopping by.
I like several of them but I particularly like “Co-worker’s Girlfriend not as Pretty as Expected” because I’ve enjoyed many gossip sessions at work discussing this sort of thing. Also, I discovered the joys of Grater’s ice cream this past weekend—a store near me started selling it in pints—and I’m having a wonderful time!
Weebs,
Great link between satire and the real world! Meanwhile … many cheers for Graeter’s … and I’m thrilled that you trusted me on that recommendation. (Big-time points for me) … so what flavor did you have? Thanks for sharing the good news!
Many points, Frank!! I bought a pint of black raspberry chocolate chip and another of mint chocolate chip. They’re both delicious!
My wife loves the first and me the latter. Regular choc chip is also fabulous. Hope you received some large chunks of chocolate!
could not choose- though I stopped paying attention several words ago – ha ha ha –(is it bad when you laugh at your own jokes? I think so)
LouAnn,
Very clever way of telling you favorite … for which others agree! Thanks for stopping by and laughing at your own jokes.
I can’t help myself….back of library smells like weed?!?….
Zannyro,
And such a fitting headline with the news of the law change in Washington state. Thanks for commenting.