Cincinnati is in the midst of a warming trend with the possibility of reaching 60 (15.5 C) by the weekend. Meanwhile, a small project came across my plate this week that will go well into next week, thus will interrupt my visits.
This is the first full work week of the year for many, how it going so far? I’m guessing you may need a dose of mid-week satire to re-energize some vim and vigor. On to The Onion!
Department of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series
All Geese Flying to Andy Garcia’s House for Winter
President Waiting for Perfect Time to Walk by White House Tour Group
Study: Everyone, Everything Linked to Paranoia
Raccoon Leaders Calls for Loosening of Garbage Can Lids
Sex with Girlfriend Traced to Shoulder Rub
Dad Reading Entire Newspaper Aloud for some Reason
Baby Knocked Out with Cough Syrup Praised for Being such a Good Little Traveler
High School for Performing Arts Student Dealing with Really Weird Social Pressures
Devon Turned out to be Male Version of Devon
Which is your favorite?
Given the headlines above, use the information from those headlines to make a new headline. Here’s mine: Sex with girl at Andy Garcia’s house traced to him reading newspaper aloud
Have a good rest of the week!
High School for Performing Arts Students Waiting for Perfect Time to Fly to Andy Garcia’s House
Carrie,
Well … as we know, high school students can be groupees … Thanks for using your medical background to explain adolescent behavior.
I have been taking full advantage of this weather, but for a cranky calf muscle that I’ve been resting for almost two weeks now. But this weekend, I’m looking forward to the spring like temps as I get back out there.
Definitely all those birds turning up to Andy Garcia’s house. What’s he got going on there? xx
Spiced,
The association between geese and Andy Garcia is one of the great mysteries of the ages. Thanks for stopping by.
Fun entry as usual! How about the following?
Department of Transportation praised for Being Such Good Little Travelers.
or
President Linked to Paranoia for Dealing with Some Really Weird Social Pressures
Patti,
The president and social pressures … wow … seems to explain many of the media interviews with politicians! Brilliant!!! … Thanks for sharing!
My first full week back at The Grind pretty much took off from where last week’s 3/5ths week left off — I’m very busy, I’m very bored, the pay still blows. I expect the next 50 weeks to follow this pattern.
Raccoon Leaders Linked to Paranoia
I hope your project goes well.
Lame,
I may have found a good headline about work and vacations for Friday’s post. Hmmmm … not good when leaders are paranoid. Thanks for participating.
That’s excellent Frank. Good headlines are my weak suit.
Now the test will be if you can spot it in Friday’s OITS.
… well, that’s assuming I remember to include it.
Yes, dealing with the holes in one’s middle age head can be a challenge. I once had a cough and decided to go out and get cough syrup. As I was locking my door while coughing, I had to pause because for an instant I completely blanked on why I was going out. Good times.
LMAO on the sadness of it all
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How about this: High School for Performing Arts student dealing with baby of Raccoon Leader reading newspaper out loud about paranoia of geese flying
Jackie.
Bingo …. you have just explained why raccoons are nocturnal! Many thanks for sharing.
New Highway Concert Series Calls for Time out to Perform Shoulder Rub with Andy Garcia’s Performing Raccoon.
Jots,
Good one! …. and the audience thought it was a musician’s union break! Thanks for sharing the chuckle.
Highway concert series traced to sexy backrub.
Hope the project goes smoothly, Frank, and enjoy the warm! Hope it melts some of those snow drifts I hear you have out there.
Guapo,
Snow wasn’t as bad here as Mr. Erickson got. Given the shade on my back deck, I wonder how long it will take to melt! Meanwhile, more highway concerts! Thanks for commenting.
Baby Knocked Out with Cough Syrup Praised for Being such a Good Little Traveler–yikes! But funny! Hope the project goes well. I know how it can be a challenge balancing work responsibilities with our blogging roles. Sometimes I get my priorities mixed up and end up keeping my attention on my work!
Debra,
Thanks for sharing your fav!
It’s a shame when work gets in the way of blogging … the gull of it all!
President Waiting for Perfect Time to Walk by White House Tour Group – brilliant …. yes, maybe he needs a guide tour to find out all the rooms he live in. Great stuff – thanks, Frank.
Viveka,
I wonder how close tour groups generally get. Maybe the president could sneak up on a group and then scare them! Thanks for commenting.
I don’t think they get that close – had a friend that was best friend with the Executive Chef of the White House during the Reagan time – and he visit his friend in the White House and he came very close to the Reagan and he and his wife – he even walked their dogs. They was in the power corridors too – during working hours … but that will not happen after 9/11, I think.
I would think that you are right on that one. Interesting that you had a connection to the White House staff!
I didn’t have it … my friend had. They spent 3 days with their friend and his family at the White House, when our secretary in Portland was asked for the phone number for the White House – by my friend, she asked if you may do the call, because it will be the only time she will have chance to phone the White House. *smile – he let her make the call.
Department of Transportation President Devon, dealing with really weird social pressures and praised for being such a good little traveler, flying to Andy Garcia’s house for sex with Raccoon Leaders. For some reason linked to paranoia with cough syrup, high school for Performing Arts student waiting for perfect time to walk by.
Alex,
Ding ding ding … Congrats on the most-ever combinations! Brilliance … and early in the morning too. Must be extra good coffee. Thanks for sharing.
I’m on my second cup on a perfectly rainy morning.
So you are the one sending rain our way.
We’ve had no shortage of it lately Frank, but that seems to be the case here in Jan/Feb. It’s a nice change from the usual drought of the other 10 months.
I bet … raise the water table now when you got a chance!
President read entire paper aloud to baby who slept through it
LouAnn,
Thanks for sharing.
Now there’s a strong commentary!
and I work for a newspaper–the baby would not have slept through my articles – ha ha
Absolutely … no question!
Dad and the newspaper for me Frank!
GFB,
Nothing like knowing what causes you to chortle. Thanks for stopping by.
I have to go with: President Waiting for Perfect Time to Walk by White House Tour Group. Of course, this is probably more true than false.
TBM,
I’d like to see him spook the group by jumping out from a closet. Thanks for commenting.
Department of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series by White House Tour Group featuring their new song – “The President Scared the Shit Out of Me.”
Cathy,
Love it … thanks for tapping into the president scaring the tour group! Well done!
My Onion winner is ‘President Waiting for Perfect Time to Walk by White House Tour Group’ because I suspect one or two of them probably did.
And here’s a couple of unauthorized versions (which I really enjoy doing)
Department of Transportation Announces Little New Baby Traveler Flying to Andy Garcia’s House Knocked Out with Cough Syrup for Winter
and, granted more appropriate for the Clinton era than Obama’s,
President reading Entire Newspaper aloud Waiting for Perfect Time for Performing Sex with White House Tour Group
Fasab,
thanks for sharing the humor.
Like the double feature approach … actually the last one cracked me up more than the first one.
There is no possible way to decide on a favorite between the first four…just too funny~Don’t work too hard Frank!
Zannyro,
Indecision is ok … well, as long as the first four are good ones not bad ones. ; Thanks for visiting.
Oh, I like this one:
Department of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series — it’s like Love Among the Ruins only this time it’s Music Amongst the Debris.
Good luck with your projects Frank. We’ll be here when you get back.
Elyse,
I would hope the concert series uses by orange barrels and orange cones! Thanks for sharing your fav.
Hi,
I just have to agree with the Raccoons on that one.
Mags,
The Raccoons are a popular pick. Thanks for stopping by to share.
Racoon thing made me look back into one of my old posts and write an update that’ll post tomorrow.
I was going to post the video here but I’ll use it for a post.
Doggy,
Interesting because (as you recall) I found the Tic-Tac music man while looking for a response to your post … and then decided to use it myself. I’ll stop by. Glad to know the raccoon here sparked a reminder for you.
Baby Knocked Out with Cough Syrup Praised for Linking Everything to Paronoia. That silly baby. Good ones, Frank, as always.
Bumble,
Good one! Babies sure do the darndest things. Thanks for commenting.
[...] you imagine. I was going to post about something else today, but after reading Frank’s post On Satire Bits Vol. 42, I was going to share the original video with him and to my surprise I found an update which [...]
Perhaps because I travel so much, my favorite:
Baby Knocked Out with Cough Syrup Praised for Being such a Good Little Traveler
We are warming a little in Dallas and it is all turning to rain. I despise rain. Just hate it. Trying to catch up, so behind on everything right now.
By the way, picking just one was difficult.
Val,
Don’t worry about catching up because most bloggers are always behind, so they understand.
Because you travel so much, your choice is understandable … and hopefully I remember to have another travel one for tomorrow’s Opinions in the Shorts. (Well, I have one, but just have to remember) Thanks for sharing! … and yes, I know the rain you are having is coming my way soon!
raccoon leader calls for male version of devon.
Good one … heads up … one of my HLN favs standing in today for RM.
on my way to HLN
SH will be on soon.
it’s a happy friday
That a way! Glad you appreciate the alert.
always appreciated. now it’s time for CC.
and then an appearance by AK, and the day is good.
I’m sure you are smiling.
Oh, I need a satire break, even though it is already the weekend
“Department of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series” – very curious about this one!
Lynn,
Thanks for sharing.
Our musical side has led you don’t the path to find intrigue in this headline.
Yeah, I’m in full catch-up mode here. Or is that ketchup? Either way, it’s a bloody mess!
Hey John … don’t punish yourself!