On Satire Bits: Vol. 82

Sometimes coinciding, serendipitous events seem too good to be true.

First of all, it’s time for a Satire Bits post. Secondly, January is Polka Music Month. Thirdly, January 23 is the anniversary of Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI (in 1719) issuing a decree forming Liechtenstein. So let’s start the mid-week energy boost by imagining Guapo, Bulldog, and GingerFightBack wearing lederhosen while leading everyone in song and dance to the Liechtensteiner Polka. Any ladies want to volunteering wearing Bavarian Dirndl for the occasion? Who knows how to dance to a polka?

Celebration Alert:For fearing nothing to celebrate today, Wednesday is Blonde Brownie Day and Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day!

How has your week been so far? Besides getting hit with more snow, I’ve been hit with a dose of the frazzles, but I’m confident that all will be fine.

A reminder that Time: The Musical is scheduled as a prologue. Do you have a special song associated with a special moment? Well now … that may come in handy. If not, there could be other options. Curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 PM (Eastern USA).

Let’s move on to your mid-week dose of satire courtesy of The Onion. Any favorites? There’s also the challenge of developing your very own satirical headline by using the information from the headlines below. My combo is at the end. Enjoy … and have a good rest of the week.

Anonymous source tells reporters he is tired of being Speaker of the House

Five-year-old reluctantly lets crying mom sleep in his bed again

Unclear if fountain is the type allowed to run around in

Police deploys fancy-clothed cop

CEO worked way up from Son of CEO

Scientists teach sign language to gorilla-suit-wearing man

Enzyme humbled to have played part in successful biochemical reaction

Airline part of something called Star Alliance

27-year-old lies about every single aspect of his life to keep parents from worrying

Fun-loving, laid-back woman with a bit of a nerdy side joins online dating service

My Combo: Laid-back anonymous CEO wearing gorilla suit crying after he joins 27-year-old fancy-clothed, anonymous cop in bed

About these ads

61 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 82

  1. (or 8 or Sheesh! Use one picture 7 (or 8 or 22) times, and forever more, you’re the lederhosen guy.

    No headline for me, but I’d like to say that unless it commemorates/memorializes someone’s death, every fountain is the type to run around in.

    Hope the frazzles fade soon! (And the cold too.)

  2. Frank, this was fabulous! The image of Guap and GFB (I have GOT to find Bulldog’s blog) doing the Everybody Polka! fills me with glee. It rotates with nausea but that could be the meds. Tough call.
    Am frazzled myself but will put on my tinfoil thinking cap tomorrow morning to get ‘ya a headline you deserve.
    xo

    • Hey Rachael,
      Even Bulldog says that a video of him in lederhosen would be a viral hit, so the dancing trio would be a win for all! Meanwhile, are you will to join Vanessa in wearing Bavarian Dirndl?

  3. “Anonymous scientists unclear if biochemical reaction is a type of successful Star Alliance.” The best I’ve got tonight, Frank. LOL!

    Looking forward to the musical tomorrow night. I am not sure what this one is going to be. Should be fun!

    • Debra,
      I think your headline has “alien” written all over it! Meanwhile, I know you wrote this when it was late, thus probably the reason you didn’t volunteer to wear Bavarian Dirndl. Meanwhile, the musical’s prologue is definitely in my style.

  4. “Speaker of the House lets crying mom sleep in his bed humbled to have played part in successful online dating service”
    Bulldog wearing lederhosen while leading everyone in song and dance.?? That would be something to capture on vid and post to youtube to receive 10 000 000 views in a matter of an hour…

  5. Me! Me! I volunteer to wear the Bavarian Dirndl, I can dance a polka, I used to do it in dance class when I was a little’n! As for the headline, hmmm…

    “Fun-loving gorilla lets fancy-clothed cop sleep in his bed to keep parents from worrying.”

  6. Hi Frank! My headline: Five year-old reluctantly teaches sign language to fancy clothed cop. Stay warm in that snow! We are getting a mixed bag today, so should be an interesting one!

  7. Being half Polish, the Polka is very familiar to me, though I haven’t danced one in years.

    My headline: To keep parents from worrying, 5 yr old tells reporters about online dating service.

  8. “27-year-old lies about every single aspect of his life to keep parents from worrying” — I can’t top that one this week.

    I’m huddled under a mountain of snow in my corner of the world as well. Stay warm and safe!

  9. Not only did I once have lunch in Lichtenstein, but we bought two traditional hats while there. AND I know how to polka Jacob and I used to move the living room furniture out of the way, put on a good polka and go to town. Generally this was done when John was out of town.

      • Oy. I was done with my comment when it disappeared…

        Lichtenstein is lovely. In the Alps in Eastern Switzerland, we passed through it in time for lunch — just after driving through “Heidiland” (no I didn’t make that up).

        You need to go, Frank. They make great wine there ….

  10. Gorilla-suit-wearing Speaker of the House reluctantly lets crying mom sleep in his bed again.

    Love all of these, yours was especially good. Blonde brownies? Yummy! You have every reason to be frazzled Frank, selling a house, packing, moving and snow is dumping on you; enough to frazzle anyone. Even you.

    I have pictures of my baby brother and I all over Germany, Austria, Switzerland and yes even Liechtenstein when we young. In some of these we were dressed in traditional garb, my mother had no mercy.

  11. I heart polka! And – I would so not mind wearing a Bavarian Dirndl.
    I can dance polka ok – basic steps. It’s so much fun. I dance at Polka Fest when we go.

    My contribution: Fancy-clothed cop joins online dating service to keep parents from worrying.

Comment with respect.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s