On Satire Bits: Vol. 90

Hey hey hey … It’s Hump Day time! How has your week gone so far?

We went from a very warm and slightly humid Sunday to a cold Tuesday that delivered a chilling wind, low temperatures, and even some snow.

A reminder that the next post is Life: The Musical – Act 2 – featuring songs with born, birth, baby, or babies in the title.  A reminder – no duplicates. Curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 PM (US Eastern).

Any favorites below? To go along with your mid-week dose of satire from The Onion, I hope you accept the challenge of making your own satirical headline by using the words from the headlines below. My combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week!

Inspired man bolts out of bed at 3 AM to jot down great next worry

Drunken man careens wildly across internet

Distant planet terrified it might be able to someday support life

Co-worker who already breathes, chews loudly thinking about getting into arrhythmically drumming on desk

New study finds only 88% of guitar customers become famous musicians

Lapsed cult member only attends sanctum on major blood-letting days

Manic researchers announce they are hours away from cure for depression

Middle-aged waiter sadly not involved in any creative endeavor

Father marvels at how quickly kids growing distant

Subway employee still unnerved by high-pitched screech sandwiches make when cut in half

My Combo: Middle-aged Subway employee inspired by drunken coworker thinking

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41 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 90

  1. It’s been a rough week so far, and that’s with me taking today off.
    Not looking forward to what wednesday and thursday bring, but friday,I’m hoping to get my motorcycle permit.

  2. You know, I sometimes find myself drumming on my desk at work, and wonder if it annoys everyone around me… perhaps I should keep my nervous twitches silent.

    Anyway, I couldn’t resist the goldmine of great words available for unique combos this week!:

    “Inspired musicians announce endeavor to study high-pitched thinking”

  3. This week is much better than last primarily because I’m almost completely recovered from that terrible cold. On the downside, the Big Boss Man at The Grind has it now. To his credit, he’s not blaming me even though I have been the Germinator. Yet, it’s not like he and I swap spit. Usually, we just swap jokes.

  4. Father marvels at how quickly kids careen wildly across internet.

    I don’t think that is satire, more just irony.

    Week is getting off to a terrible (tax time) start, but at least our temps are on the rise. Storms brought much needed rain (I can complain all I like but it is still much needed). I missed the Pink Moon, so sad yet I will still not complain remembering our lakes that look like mud puddles and the snow that is falling elsewhere.

    • Debra,
      OMG … the waiter needs big-time psychological help … probably a few in LA may qualify!

      Enough snow to cover the ground … then gone … Sunday was in the 80s … Tuesday morning in the 20s

  5. At 3 AM across the internet, reaching even a distant planet, the drumming of famous musicians only announced, sadly, that they are not involved with kids growing distant and unmoved by high-pitched screeches of parents who discover all the sandwiches are gone.
    Bleary at the end of the day – but it’s Wednesday!
    Happy rest of the week, Frank!

  6. My sentence: “Mom pulls hair out as plans for this weekend go completely astray due to flooding; would have preferred a zombie attack”. My kids have had their university exams changed twice due to flooding in Sherbrooke, Quebec. The university has been closed to all except students. Approximately 3/4 of my daughter’s apartment building is surrounded by water. It has been a very stressful last couple of days. Hopefully the river does not rise anymore. How’s your week so far Frank?

    • Catherine,
      With the approaching holiday, college kids home for a bit, and dealing with flooding from afar, no wonder you seem frantic! Good luck.

      Thanks for asking, but my week continues to be one of dealing with one thing after another … thus forgetting to do certain things …. thus I must get back to a list!

  7. Hey Cincinnati Kid, hope the weather takes a turn for the better . . . and soon. And here’s my entry, for what it’s worth.
    . . . Subway employee sadly not involved in major blood letting . . .

  8. I like the subway employee one, but how about this, “Middle-aged cult member unnerved by Manic high-pitched screech of Drunken musicians guitar”,

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