On Satire Bits: Vol. 93

How has your week gone so far? I have various preparations to do in advance of upcoming projects around the new residence. With that in mind, we hope to reach an important milestone by week’s end that will lead us toward final completion of an area next week.

The streak of wonderful weather is great for golf. Too bad my game this week was not even close to the weather. Oh well … that’s golf … but hopefully I’ll be better next week.

Time for the mid-week collection of humor. As always, for those desiring an extra challenge, reshuffle any of the words below to develop a new headline. My “combo” is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

US currency finally archives universal suffrage

Increasing number of men pressured to accept realistic standards of female beauty

Woman tragically succumbs to natural hair color

Smooth operator also operates forklift

Married couple staying together for the sake of US divorce rate

Physician shoots off a few Adderall prescriptions to improve Yelp rating

New employee finally around long enough to be deemed incompetent

Couple keeps it interesting by bickering in different positions, rooms

Doctor recall average-looking sibling who inspired him to go into cosmetic surgery

Man trying to get out of executioner duty

My Combo: Executioner pressured to operate forklift

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47 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 93

  1. Focus on the nice walk on the lawn, not the moments of frustration. Makes golf that much better.
    I had a conversation with a coworker that cemented my impression that he’s an idiot.
    Should make the rest of the week fun!

    • Guapo,
      Generally speaking, golf doesn’t get to me mentally … so I don’t get overly frustrated. Last night I couldn’t find my rhythm, thus struggled … but I accepted it for what it is.

      Good luck with the idiot coworker.

  2. I’ve got one! Increasing number of men pressured to accept realistic standards of universal suffrage.

    I don’t know why I can never think of anything …
    My week is much too busy — work is crazy and I am ready for a vacation … whenever that may be.

    Golf is way too boring for you, Frank. It makes baseball on TV look downright exciting.

    • Elyse,
      Oh no … golf is an interesting challenge and full of enjoyable moments … and hey … I enjoy watching golf, after all, the TPC is on the weekend! …. and my wife also enjoys playing and watching golf. We already bought tickets to attend a tournament this summer …. AND … we’re going to a baseball game this weekend!

      Meanwhile, try the creating a combo in the morning. Remember … nouns, adjectives, and verbs.

  3. Nice batch of witty Onion headlines, Frank. “New employee finally around long enough to be deemed incompetent” resonated because we have one of those slackers at The Grind (not in my department). Overall, it’s been a good week thus far. The Boss is vacationing for two weeks in Europe. No separation anxiety from me.

  4. I’m enjoying a fine week, Frank. No big “highs” but correspondingly, no big “lows” either. :-) I love an ordinary, unexciting week. Too often the excitement means we’re doing too much. LOL! Sorry about the golf, but you may have been a little distracted anticipating all your projects. Be well!

    Doctor tragically pressured to get out of cosmetic surgery to be deemed average-looking, natural female.

    • Debra,
      Distractions weren’t the excuse for struggling golf because I just didn’t have it (which does happen).

      Cosmetic surgery is all about the beautiful people … but I’m sure it’s not a big business in your area. ;)

      PS: I can’t believe I forgot this one the other day, but I know you will appreciate this … but the National Spelling Bee is sponsored & run by a Cincinnati company.

  5. Married couple tragically recall natural hair colour.

    This weekend will be quite Matt is working, there are no insane drives planned. I will grocery shop, do laundry and bother my teenage boy. I just love having him home. It gives me another set of arms and legs.

  6. US currency finally succumbs to divorce rate
    Physician shoots man trying to get out of executioner duty

    Keep at the golf it always improves…

    • Bulldog,
      So it’s the divorce rate holding back the dollar’s value! Thanks for the tip!!!

      You well now that sometimes (and for whatever reason) the game is absent … but magically returns an unknown time.

  7. I have nothing this week, a few of them are far to good to mess with. As to your game, Frank it is early in the golf season you will pick up a few strokes or is that lose a few strokes? I always get that whole golf scoring thing backwards.

  8. Good luck on the milestone that you’re working on!

    Fave: Woman tragically succumbs to natural hair color (Only because I have yet to dye my hair)
    My combo: Man trying to get out of natural hair color keeps it interesting by trying a few Adderall prescriptions.

  9. Good thing you aren’t here. Nothing but rain today, which won’t help your golf.

    Married couple shoots executioner for Adderall

  10. Golf? Oh, you were just being kind so the others would feel talented and so happy with their abilities. That’s Frank – always thinking of others.
    (Gotta run the dog out again before rain – yes – maybe real rain instead of sprinklers….the plants won’t know what’s hitting them.)
    Will check back later to catch up on all the comments – always a giggle around here

  11. My combo; Increasing number of men pressured to accept realistic standards of female beauty, after doctor recall cosmetic surgery.
    My week has been very wet so far …. but I’m sure changes will happen.

  12. So pleased the weather improving.. and nothing nicer than a round of golf.. I really should take up my Golf again.. my golf bag is gathering dust at the back of the garage somewhere… It may bring a whole new meaning to the ‘Swinging 60′s” in my life :-)

    Enjoy …. :-) Sue

    • Sue,
      Ah ha … golf in your past! I’ve been playing for many years … but not as often as I would like … thus I play in a league to get me to play at least 9 holes a week. Dust off the bag and clubs!

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