On Satire Bits: Vol. 98

Happy Hump Day to all!

Cincinnati is getting spotting rain for a few days, but we got the golf in. Yep, I played with the blurry eye. How’s your weather?

EyeballCloseUpThe eye drama continues. This morning I went to an ophthalmologist specializing in the retina. After some tests with some interesting equipment to get images of my retina, the conclusive diagnosis is an occlusion of the central retinal vein – a blockage in the main vein leaving the retina, which consequently slows down the flow of oxygen and nutrients to the demanding cells of the retina. No medication, but my wife and I have a decision to make in upcoming weeks about the next test. Meanwhile, we wait, plus I will meet with my primary physician next week for her perspective.

Life: The Musical is up next with Act 5 featuring Dreams … so song titles must include dream(s), dreamer, dreaming, or compound words with dream. Curtain time is Wednesday at 9:30 pm (Eastern US).

On to the midweek dose of satire courtesy of The Onion. Any favorites? As always, for those desiring an extra challenge, use the words in the headlines below to create your own combo. Mine is at the end.

Male gaze falls upon Buffalo chicken bites

Everyone in Sears spanking a child

Dad way scarier when controlling temper

American Medical Association changes stance on self-immolation

Taco Bell warns employees against directly exposing skin to food

Working artist has developed thick skin for sound career advice

New study finds employee morale drastically improves after watching co-worker throw fit

Single most replaceable person in company will walk if he doesn’t’ get raise

Man holding giant turkey leg never been more captivating in entire life

Everyone on wedding dance floor simultaneously wonder if they’re truly happy

My Combo: Giant turkey falls upon chicken to change employee morale at Taco Bell

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67 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 98

    • Lame,
      The retina specialist mentioned that the cause is typically a high spike in blood pressure … so as one with bp on the low side of average, that’s tough to believe. Nonetheless, this is where the primary physician comes in (who I will see next week). Thanks for the positive vibes.

  1. Study warns everyone scarier after exposing skin to Taco Bell. :-)

    I’m glad you have something to at last work with regarding your preliminary diagnosis. I am sure you’ll have a lot to discuss and decisions to make. Not an easy time!

    See you tomorrow night!

    • Debra,
      Oh no … the attack of the flashers at Taco Bell! (definitely not a Lifetime movie.

      Yes, something to work with. Interestingly, a friend of mine says he’s amazed who calm I am with the situation. Of course my response is “what good would getting upset/tense/aggressive do?” Yes, I’m calm, but of course it’s weighing on my mind.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about your eye condition, Frank. I am sure though that there are ways to treat CRVO. Ask your primary physician about Vitamin D Levels and it’s association with this CRVO.
    Giant turkey on wedding dance floor spanking employees at the American Medical Association.

  3. “Working artist has developed thick skin for sound career advice” makes me glad I paint for fun.

    The Reds historic lack of hitting (yes, you’ve been right all along) combined with their worrisome proximity in the loss column to the cellar dwelling Chicago Cubs, has me thinking about reading Jimmy Breslin’s book “Can’t Anybody Here Play This Game?”, chronicling the 1962 New York Mets.

  4. Man bites co-worker on leg.

    The eyes are a marvelous thing. I hope the fix is easy.

    Going to play 9 holes with my friend in 3 hrs. Gnat spray is ready. Do you have gnats?

  5. Keeping you on the good thoughts side of my brain, I do hope your eye problem is easily corrected. It must be such a worry (I’m a worrywart).

    Oh the poor chicken!

    Mine: Taco Bell finds employee holding giant turkey leg

  6. So sorry to hear about your eye Frank. I hope that all goes well as you begin to consider options.
    Wedding food changes drastically improves after Sears changes turkey leg.

  7. “Everyone in Sears holding giant turkey leg drastically improves stance on chicken bites.”—Um, yeah, that makes sense somehow…

    Sorry the eye malady is ongoing. :( I suspect you aren’t able to drive with it which probably makes life more difficult in and of itself.

    • Carrie,
      Everyone at Sears doing that is easy to picture and something they should consider for marketing.

      I am driving, but with a bit more wisdom. Actually it’s better the past two days than it was on Friday when I drove to Springfield. Meanwhile, at least I’m seeking the right medical people.

  8. “Everyone in Sears spanking a child”….Oh…my…lord…(funny)
    Keep us updated on the “baby blues”…or should I say, “baby blue’….hang in there friend…

  9. Trying to catch up – too many interruptions/nonsense last week to manage any form of normal.
    Fingers crossed with the eyes. Carrie’s right on target – and so are you about being proactive with records/doctor communication. Better to stay actively involved that trust these days.
    Loved your take on the challenge!

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