On Satire Bits: Vol. 106

Happy Hump Day to all. How’s your week going so far?

Since returning from the weekend trip, I’ve returned to my water superintendent duties for our building … which means I move hoses and sprinklers for several hours as our we and another couple in our building are assisting the builder so we can get a green grass environment … Plus, I’m trying to catch up on my blogging from the missed weekend.

Just returned from the golf course, and I was happy with my overall play tonight. Rest of the week has a variety of events scheduled, along with more watering. Then again, maybe mother nature will help out with some natural rain.

Because I haven’t given an eye update in some time, the issue still exists … but all is stable. I don’t see the retina specialist for another 5 weeks, so unless something drastic happens between now and then, it’s wait and see.

Moving on to your midweek dose of satire, as usual, the satirical headlines below are courtesy of The Onion. I’m always curious to discover when you have a favorite. For those ready to accept the extra challenge, create your own “combo” headline by using only the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week!

Criminal prosecuted to fullest extent of budget

Meat prices skyrocket after cow smashing machine gets all beefed up

Legal Dream Team of co-workers counsel woman on strategy for speeding ticket

Friend takes liberty of ordering $40 of appetizers for entire table

Elderly man can’t wait for senility to erase lifetime of regretful memories

Each line of MasterCard billing statement evokes infuriating vacation memory

Two dozen restaurant patrons made violently ill from marriage proposal

Area idea so crazy it just might work

Snowden: NSA agents pass around nude photos

Report confirms no need to make new chairs for the time being

My Combo: Legal Dream Team prosecuted crazy cow for speeding and smashing nude elderly man in new chair

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26 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 106

  1. Report of crazy cow evokes fullest extent of infuriating criminal meat prices.

    That’s the best I could do…LOL! And thank you for the update on your eyes…I’ve been thinking of you and wondering. I’m glad they aren’t worsening, Frank!

  2. I can imagine the animal rights movement having a filed day with this one: “Meat prices skyrocket after cow smashing machine gets all beefed up”. Cow smashing machine! Definitely a no-no.

  3. Glad to hear that at least the eye issue is stable & not worsening.

    My fave: Elderly man can’t wait for senility to erase lifetime of regretful memories
    A close 2nd: Area idea so crazy it just might work
    Your combo: That’s quite a visual!
    My combo: Area idea evokes infuriating elderly man to marriage proposal.

  4. Look, if I end up like that elderly guy waiting to go senile, I want you to say something to me first.

    I knew I should have gone to work for the NSA. Cause then no one would be watching my internet activity.

  5. Love the Onion headline: Elderly man can’t wait for senility to erase lifetime of regretful memories. For some reason that hit my funny bone. Glad to hear eye is stabilizing. It is a terrible thing to get old. Hope you do it better than I am doing it. Cheers!

  6. LMFAO~~ This made my freaking night, Frank!!! And of course, I have to put my favorite, which was this one: Elderly man can’t wait for senility to erase lifetime of regretful memories. That is priceless!! Hope you don’t mind, sharing this gem now!! ;) xoxo <3

  7. hope your eye situation is stable and not giving you any troubles. take it easy for now…chill and do nothing. that’s my mantra. ha-haaa. have a great week!! :)

    • Sun,
      The eye is stable … but issues still exists … I’ve got the feeling it will be with me for some time … but … see the retina specialist in a few weeks. Thanks for the concern.

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