On Satire Bits: Vol. 91

Warm weather is upon us, thus it’s time for golf league to start. Of course, we were supposed to start last week, but the league secretary graciously postpone the start due to miserable weather. How’s the weather been in your area?

How’s your week going so far? An interesting thing happened to me at this week’s handbell rehearsal. Since January, I have been playing some of the large bass bells. Keep in mind that handbells are made of brass – thus one of the bells I play on one song weighs 8.25 pounds (3.7 kg). One has to be careful, but I think it caused a mild hyperextension of my elbow.

The hyperextension and the start of golf league isn’t the best timing. As I always do before playing, I took some time on the practice range …. and to my surprise the elbow didn’t bother me, thus I played without any problems. The elbow area remains tender, so time will tell if it heals enough to be able to play this Sunday. Believe me – swinging a heavy piece of brass is much different that swinging a golf club.

Let’s move on our midweek-dose of satire courtesy of The Onion. Any favorites below? Don’t forget the extra challenge of making your own satirical headline by reusing the words in the headlines below. My combo is at the end. Enjoy and have a good rest of the week.

Coworkers currently G-chatting about you

Man spends weekend binge-watching neighbor

Study: More children growing up in single-parrot households

So-called Christian has erection

Report: Only 20 minutes until introverted man gets to leave party

Area mother doesn’t see why Thai people need to make food so spicy

McDonald’s now offering bereavement prices

Expectant parents throw some values together at the last minute

Dog held against will inside Skype window

Imperial inspector to arrive by railcar this afternoon

My Combo: Neighbor spends 20 minutes watching McDonald’s erection

On a Few Murals

You may recall two past posts (this one and that one) about attending this year’s Opening Day festivities in the city. As I walked many miles, certain sights reminded me of Resa – a Canadian photographer who uses her blog to share the graffiti art and murals she finds in cities. (If you visit her blog, tell her I sent you.)

Granted, on this day I wasn’t prowling Cincinnati’s city center looking for outdoor murals, but because I thought of Resa each time I stumbled across a mural, I knew a post was in the making. Enjoy some of the murals I captured on this day. Which is your favorite?

 

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On a Trap for Monday

It was a holiday weekend for us, but we weren’t overwhelmed with busy. We spent time dancing, shopping, watching TV, walking, and entertaining my father-in-law for Easter. With Easter being the highest Christian day, the handbell choir played 3 songs at back-to-back services. Here’s a good recording of a short, but energetic song.

Come on now, tell us about your weekend!

We’ve had a streak of warm days, and it appears the streak will continue throughout the week. Therefore, it looks like the start of golf league shouldn’t be delayed again.

Celebrations for the week ahead.

  • (Week) Cleaning for a Reason Week, Consumer Awareness Week, Bubblegum Week, Police Offers Who Gave Their Lives in the Line of Duty Week, Paperboard Packaging Week, National Park Week, Animal Cruelty Awareness Week, Bedbug Awareness Week, Coin Week, Fibroid Awareness Week, Whistlers Week, Infertility Awareness Week, Karaoke Week, Princess Week, Pet ID Week, Sky Awareness Week, Oral-Head-&-Neck Cancer Awareness Week, Playground Safety Week, Work Zone Safety Awareness Week, Safe Kids Week
  • (Mon) Bulldogs are Beautiful Day, Dyngus Day, Kindergarten Day, Chocolate-Covered Cashews Day
  • (Tues) Earth Day, Jelly Bean Day, April Showers Day
  • (Wed) Impossible Astronaut Day, Marconi Day, Movie Theater Day, Talk Like Shakespeare Day, Picnic Day, Nose Picking Day
  • (Thurs) Pigs in a Blanket Day, Guide Dogs Day

Those who know Bulldog noticed the Monday reference, so I encourage everyone to visit him to leave a Happy Bulldogs are Beautiful Day greeting on his About page. (Click here)

To start your week, here’s a commercial that Viveka shared with me. Enjoy it … and have a good week ahead!

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 216

On Politics
The Senate Conservative Fund (SCF) has endorsed the primary challenger to Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY). To counter SCF, Sen. McConnell (who has a nasty side to him), vows to attack all their endorsed primary candidates: “I think we are going to crush them everywhere. I don’t think they are going to have a single nominee anywhere in the country.”

Cheers to Congress for not being in session.

I’m looking forward to voting in the May 6th Ohio Primary. The ballot is short and not many people will vote, but I will officially make my statement at a new precinct.

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Determined restaurant patrons tough it out on chilly patio
Parent surprised cruel teen daughter hasn’t pushed classmate to breaking point yet
Biologists confirm God evolved from chimpanzee deity
Area man mystified by layout of adjacent town’s grocery
Last living California Raisin dies of prostate cancer

Interesting Reads
Misery among MDs (Thanks Mouse for this, and thanks Carrie for approving)
Science and the word theory
Dog sex
Ten biggest earthquakes
Interactive map of U-2 boats in WW II

Bonus Reads: The week marked the Titanic’s 102nd anniversary, so here’s a collection of related articles.
Fascination with the Titanic (Smithsonian)
The Departure (Titanic-Titanic)
A news story before the movie (Newsday)
Queenstown: The last stop (Real Clear History)
A letter: a first-hand account (Telegraph)

On Potpourri
Earlier this week I saw a review of the book Why Science Does Not Disprove God. Although I am Christian, I absolutely agree – plus add this – science cannot prove God either.

As many we watching this week’s Blood Moon, snow clouds blocked Cincinnati’s view. Here’s an article from National Geographic about lunar myths from around the world.

Upon seeing a recipe with marshmallow earlier this week on a blog, I couldn’t resist asking if they used natural or synthetic marshmallows in the recipe. The blogger kindly responded synthetic – but all its ingredients are natural.

The grocery store headline from The Onion (above) reminds me how the growth (in size/space) of grocery stores over time. Cincinnati-based Kroger, the nation’s largest grocery retailer, recently published these stats regarding their average store size
1930s: 2,000 sq ft
1960s: 12,500 sq. ft
1980s: 42,000 sq. ft.
2000: 53,000 sq. ft.
2013: 61,000 sq. ft (their largest store in our area is 123,000 sq. ft)

This week marked the 35th anniversary of The Beast, a classic and the world longest wooden roller coast found at Kings Island amusement park near Cincinnati. After watching the report below, anyone wanting to take a ride can click here.

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In my musical events hear (such as Life: The Musical), I enjoy listening to the songs readers submit … thus encourage others to do so. Many thanks to all!

The Easter weekend means the handbell choir playing. Three songs this year, but here’s good recording of cheerful tones of Enduring Joy.

Given a major holiday weekend, the Saturday Morning Classic Cartoon series resumes next weekend.

Here are your weekend celebrations

  • (Fri) Golf Day, Pet Owner’s Independence Day, Amateur Radio Ray, Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day, Animal Crackers Day
  • (Sat) Auctioneers Day, Amaretto Day (Yes!), Husband Appreciation Day, Garlic Day, Hanging Out Day, Record Store Day
  • (Sun) Spring Astronomy Day, Look a Like Day, Plum Pudding Day, Food Day, Pineapple Upside Down Cake Day, Lima Bean Respect Day, Go Fly a Kite Day

To send you into the weekend, here’s a flashback to when I was in elementary school – the year is 1964, and the hit is Glad All Over by the Dave Clark Five. Enjoy, have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Life: The Musical – Act 2: Born

The Story
Life: The Musical is an original AFA production is a journey featuring songs of about life. Each act features an aspect of life as a theme with music supplied around that theme.

LifeTheMusicalProgram (Past Posts)
Act 1: Life

Act 2
Act 2 is about the start of life, so share a song with a title that including born, birth, baby, or babies.

Production Note
To prevent browsers crashing from loading too many videos, please 1) include the song title and artist in your text, and 2) paste the URL as part of your last line (not a new line). The latter will provide a link, thus not embed the actual video … but I don’t mind unembedding, so apologies are not necessary.

Announcement
We sought the help of the Way-Back Machine to open Act 2. Ladies and gentlemen, we have transported you back to 1962, so let’s hear those screams and cheers … singing I Was Born to Cry … Dion!