On the All-Time Girly Girls

The start of the World Series is a good time for a baseball post. As many of us know the song A Boy Named Sue, and some of us actually remember when it was a Johnny Cash hit.

Although nobody named Sue has played in a major league baseball game, the lineup below features players whose name could be of a female. Keep in mind that my goal is to include as many female-like names as possible. To ramp up the difficulty of fielding a team, I have added a self-imposed rule of only one person per name, with the exception of Hall of Fame (HOF) members.

Even with that in mind, the roster still includes ten members of the HOF accompanying many All-Stars. This team can hit and pitch, thus would be a contender and far outdistance the All-Time Randys who can’t hit, field, and are thin at pitching. Meanwhile, the Randys are perfect for being repeatedly beaten by a bunch of girly guys.

To see the All-Time Randys and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

After the roster, make sure you see the honorable mention list, plus the video.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the All-Time Guys with a Girl’s Name.

1B – Lee May (AS)
2B – Jackie Robinson (HOF)
SS – Cookie Rojas (AS)
3B – Judy Johnson (HOF)
C – Jody Davis (AS)
OF – Babe Ruth (HOF)
OF – Jesse Burkett (HOF)
OF – Robin Yount (HOF)
DH – Dixie Walker (AS)

SP – Christy Mathewson (HOF)
SP – Sandy Koufax (HOF)
SP – Robin Roberts (HOF)
SP – Jesse Haines (HOF)
SP – Candy Cummings (HOF)
RP – Lee Smith (AS)
RP – Allie Reynolds (AS)
RP – Lynn McGlothen (AS)
RP – Rosy Ryan

Mgr – Connie Mack (HOF)

Bench: Ryan Klesko (AS), Shannon Stewart, Taylor Douthit, Kim Bautiste, Dana Fillingim, Angel Barroa, Lena Blackburne, Tillie Walker, Kitty Bransfield

Honorable Mention: Jackie Jensen (AS), Jesse Barfield (AS), Sandy Alomar Jr. (AS), Connie Ryan (AS), Lady Baldwin, Sadie McMahan, Dolly Stark, Goldie Rapp, Blondy Ryan, Cuddles Marshall, Daisy Davis, Bonnie Hollingsworth, Faye Thorneberry, Snooks Dowd

On the All-Time Willies

Music has brought forth legends as Willie Nelson and Boxcar Willie, but the song Little Willy (by Sweet) was never a favorite of mine. Free Wily made it to the big screen while Groundskeeper Willie appears on The Simpsons – but the most famous may be Steamboat Willie who became famous with a different name.

While Wiarton Willie is the famous Canadian groundhog who prognosticates the weather. Willie the Wildcat serve as mascots at Northwestern and Kansas State. Ever received a wet willie, tasted Famous Willie’s BBQ, gotten the willies while watching a movie, or know what the British call willie? I didn’t realize that the SS Wily served as a Dutch cargo ship (1938-1939). But it wasn’t a floating chocolate factory nor captained by Willy Wonka.

Nonetheless, these Willies are about baseball … yes baseball – our timeless national pastime – so why not a quote from a non-Willie: “The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and what could be again.” (James Earl Jones from Field of Dreams)

Similar to the All-time Mickeys, not that many Willies have made it to MLB, Nonetheless, this team boasts some offense – even the bench is stacked with notable All-Stars. Opponents will fear the heart of the batting order, but will be eager to bat against a shaky mound corps. Even though the Willies will play good defense, given their pitchers, they must rely on out-scoring other teams in high-scoring games. One thing for sure, they will distance themselves from the All-Time Randys who have difficulty fielding, hitting, and pitching.

To see the All-Time Randys, All-Time Mickeys, and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the All-Time Willies.

1B – Willie Montanez (AS)
2B – Willie Randolph (AS)
SS – Willie Wells (HOF)
3B – Willie Kamm
C – Dan Willie Wilson (AS)
OF – Willie Mays (HOF)
OF – Wee Willie Keeler (HOF)
OF – Willie Stargell (HOF)
DH – Willie McCovey (HOF)

SP – Wee Willie Bill Sherdell
SP – Willis Willie Hudlin
SP – Willie Sudhoff
SP – Willie Blair
SP – Willie McGill
RP – Willie Hernandez (AS)
RP – Willie Frazier
RP – Willie Banks
RP – Willie Adams

Bench – Willie Davis (AS), Willie Horton (AS), Willie Jones (AS), Willie McGee (AS), Willie Wilson (AS), Willie Bloomquist

Mgr – Willie Randolph

All-Time Rons

Some Rons go by any of the variations of the name. Although we are most familiar with President Ronald Reagan – yet Mrs. Reagan commonly referred to him as Ronnie – while others used Ron. To the contrary, I cannot recall hearing Ronnie or Ronald for Representative Ron Paul – who oddly enough has a name of two first names like a famous Ronald McDonald who actually wasn’t a Ron, Ronnie, or Ronald, but this post is not about Willards or Scotts – it is a post about Rons like Ron Howard, who ironically also has two first names.

The music world gives us Ronnie Milsap, Ronnie Dunn, Ron Wood, and Do Ron Ron, yet another entertainment form made Ron Jeremy a star. King Arthur’s lance was Ron, but the king never faced Re-Open Nominations or had to deal with a Research Octane Number or Resilient Overlay Networks; but he spend more than one night in the same hotel on consecutive days, he was classified as Remaining OverNight. Yet, questions remain. Did he ever cross the Ron River in Switzerland? Did he ever play Rise of Nations? Did he ever file a Report of Nonconformance?

Regardless of the previous questions, there is no doubt that this post is about Rons, but not my cousin Ron – but MLB Rons. Interestingly, this post is actually a collaboration with Journey Towards Epiphany. Kimberly, the heart and soul behind that blog I enjoy reading, is from Chicago. Somehow, she mentioned that she wanted to write a post about a baseball Ron who Chicagoans adore – Ron Santo. Thus, we decided to release these to posts on the same day, so I encourage others to read her post about Ron the Beloved Cub.

The All-Time Rons surprised me. Although none have made it to the hallowed halls of Cooperstown, many Rons journeyed to baseball’s midsummer classic – the All-Star Game (AS). Although the offense lacks a main power source and the starting pitching lacks a dominant stopper, the offense will hold its own – but the pitching is a bit thin. Nonetheless, the All-Time Rons will easily outdistance the All-Time Randys who consistently languish near the basement.

To see the All-Time Randys and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the All-Time Rons.

1B – Ron Fairly (AS)
2B – Ron Hunt (AS)
SS – Ron Hansen (AS)
3B – Ron Santo (AS)
C – Ron Hassey
OF – Ron Gant (AS)
OF – Ron LeFlore (AS)
OF – Ron Northey
DH – Ron Cey (AS)

SP – Ron Guidry (AS)
SP – Ron Darling (AS)
SP – Ron Reed (AS)
SP – Ron Kline
SP – Ron Robinson
RP – Ron Peronoski
RP – Ron Davis (AS)
RP – Ron Valone
RP – Ron Bryant

Bench: Ron Belliard (AS), Ron Oester, Ron Coomer (AS), Ron Kittle (AS), Ron Karkovice, Ron Jackson

Mgr – Ron Gardenhire

On the All-Time MLB Foodies

A few years ago a guy named Mo asked, “What about a food team?” Sure, anyone can whip together names as Ice-T, John Candy, Coco Chanel, Eve Plumb, Jerry Rice, Jack Lemmon, Soupy Sales, Halle Berry, Carrot Top, Meatloaf, Kevin Bacon, Cookie Gilchrist, Warren Burger, Fiona Apple, Brutus Beefcake, Anthony Weiner, and a few Playmates named Candy or Cookie; but, what about baseball? After several years on my plate, here is a dish of delicacies for Mo.

The All-Time Foodies are a surprising lot as 11 Hall of Famers make the team. Problem is too many are outfielders. What a problem for rookie manager Peanuts: pick three, insert one as DH, and convert one to a first baseman.

This team is good enough to create havoc for the better teams and distance themselves from the All-Time Randys, who aren’t very good – but not the leagues worst! The lineup is a feast-or-famine lot and the starting pitching is good. However, if a team can get to a starter to put stress on the bullpen, this team could be in trouble. In other words, the All-Time Foodies no worse than a middle of the pack team with enough talent to create some havoc for the contenders. And who knows – even maybe pushing for contention.

To see the All-Time Randys and other all-time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the All-Time Foodies.

1B – Mike Lamb
2B – Cookie Rojas (AS)
SS – Cookie Lavagetto (AS)
3B – Pie Traynor (HOF)
C – Johnny Oates

OF – Pick 3, one DH, and get one to learn first base: Sam Rice (HOF), Jim Rice (HOF), Zach Wheat (HOF), Turkey Stearnes (HOF), Goose Goslin (HOF), Chick Hafey (HOF)

SP – Catfish Hunter (HOF)
SP – Bob Lemon (HOF)
SP – Noodles Hahn
SP – Dizzy Trout (AS)
SP – Candy Cummings (HOF)

RP – Goose Gossage (HOF)
RP – Vinegar Bend Mizell (AS)
RP – Sugar Cain
RP – Frank Pears
RP – Stew Bolen

Mgr – Peanuts Lowry (Long-time coach, but never a manager)

Bench: (The extra outfielders would bump someone and some of these won’t make it,  but these players are worth mentioning.) Darryl Strawberry (AS), Pepper Martin (AS), Ruben Sierra (AS), Peaches Graham, Pickles Dilhoeffer, Ken Berry, Candy Maldonado, Salty Parker, Billy Bean, Chicken Wolf, Coco Crisp

On the All-Time Harrys

Since I had a difficult time sleeping one night, I went to my bookshelf and selected a book that I had yet to read – Holy Cow by Harry Caray. It was an easy and enjoyable read, but that’s understandable because I’m a longtime baseball fan, one who listened to Harry broadcast Cardinal games in the 60s, and then delightfully watched him do Cubs’ games on WGN.

The most surprising thing in the book? That’s easy – University of Alabama offered young Harry a tuition-only baseball scholarship, which he turned down because he couldn’t afford the remaining costs.

Harry Caray loved baseball. Here are some of Harry All-Time Selections.
Most Complete Player – Joe DiMaggio
Greatest Power Hitter – Hank Aaron
Greatest Baserunner – Jackie Robinson
Most Natural Talent – Mickey Mantle
Most Graceful – Roberto Clemente
Best Catcher – Johnny Bench
Best RH Pitcher – Bob Gibson
Best LH Pitcher – Sandy Koufax
Best SS – Marty Marion
Best 3B – George Brett
The First Pick if he started a team from scratch – Stan Musial

With all this in mind, what about the All-Time Harrys?

Many Harrys have played on the diamond. Interestingly, some have gone by Bud, Cookie, Doc, Duke, Fritz, Izzy, Junior, Moose, Nemo, Peanuts, Pep, Rip, Shadow, Slim, and Socks – but did any of them make the team? What about Harry the Hat and Harry the Cat?

A strong outfield and veteran starting pitching will put this team in the middle of the pack (at best) – but far better than the All-Time Randys who simply aren’t very good.

To see the All-Time Randys and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the All-Time Harrys.

1B – Harry Davis
2B – Harry Steinfeldt
SS – (Harry) Cookie Lavagetto (AS)
3B – (Harry) Peanuts Lowrey (AS)
C – Harry Danning (AS)
OF – Harry Heilmann (HOF)
OF – Harry Hooper (HOF)
OF – Harry Walker (AS)
DH – Harry Simpson (AS)

SP – Harry Brecheen (AS)
SP – (Harry) Slim Sallee
SP – (Harry) Bud Black
SP – (Harry) Rip Collins
SP – Harry Coveleski
RP – (Harry) Fritz Dorish
RP – Harry Harper
RP – (Harry) Cy Morgan
RP – Harry Byrd

Mgr – Harry Wright (HOF)

To close, here’s my all-time favorite Harry Caray TV commercial.

On the All-Time Als

Al is short for Allan, Allen, Alan, Albert, Alfred, Alphose, Alfonzo, and Aloysius – but some of the aforementioned never attach to the short form, so this post is about Al.

I have a great long-time friend since our college days named Al, but also a comparatively newer blog friend who is also kind and Al. Al Jarreau, Al Green, Al Dimeola, Al Hirt, and Al Yankovic give us music as Al Capone delivered terror. Al Roker treats us with reports about weather and food, and Al Capp served the world of comics – but there is no reference to anyone named Al Paca.

Politics has placed the spotlight on Al Gore, Al Sharpton, and Al Franken. Meanwhile, different screens served as venues for Al Pacino, Al Bundy, and Al McGuire – but the History Channel does not include a great named Al X Ander. Simply put, this post is about a team competing as the Als of Summer on a baseball diamond.

On first glance, with three hall of famers and numerous all-stars, one would get them in the upper echelon. No way because this team does not have the pitching depth necessary – especially the starting pitching. However, these Als is good enough to be respectable and out-distance the All-Time Randys. Then again, most teams have.

To see the All-Time Randys and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the All-Time Als. (Note: AS=All-Star, HOF = Hall of Fame)

1B – Al Rosen (AS)
2B – Al Dark (AS)
SS – Al Bridwell
3B – Al Smith (AS)
C – Al Lopez (HOF)
OF – Al Kaline (HOF)
OF – Al Simmons (HOF)
OF – Al Oliver (AS)
DH – Al Cowens

SP – Al Leiter (AS)
SP – Al Downing (AS)
SP – Al Benton (AS)
SP – Al Smith (AS)
SP – Al Maul
RP – Al Hrabosky
RP – Al Worthington
RP – Al Holland (AS)
RP – Al Brazle

Bench – Al Bumbry (AS), Al Evans, Al Luplow, Al Martin, and Al Zarilla

Mgr – Al Spalding (HOF)

On the All-Time Larrys

Larry King did the interviews, but Larry Gatlin sang. Larry Holmes provided the knockouts while Larry Csonka pounded for yards. Larry the Legend Bird performed basketball magic, yet Larry Hagman was the magic behind JR.

We can find Larry’s name on restaurants for hamburgers, New York pizza, and cheesecake. I graduated with a Larry, but it’s not the Nutball from the Sunshine state. Larry, Daryl, and Daryl, made Newhart frown, but does anyone remember Larry the Cucumber being the alter ego of Larry-Boy on Veggie Tales? By the way, who is not related to Larry the Lobster from Sponge Bob Square Pants.

No Larrys have occupied the Oval Office, St. Peters, or Buckingham Palace. Actually, Larry the Cable Guy isn’t a Larry (but a Daniel Lawrence), however, 3 Stooges provided a very Fine Larry. (Rim shot)

Despite suggestions from conspiracy theorists, there is no St. Larry Seaway, a TV bandleader named Larry Welk, or a film about Larry of Arabia. Plus, the Jayhawks’ hometown is not Larryville. In other words, how will I treat Lawrences who weren’t Larrys?

A baseball team of Larrys can hit, but pitching is skeptical. Although the staff has wily veterans, this team lacks a bonafide stopper and closer. Nonetheless, the Larrys will easily outdistance the All-Time Randy’s who have a difficult time competing with the average teams.

To see the All-Time Randys and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the AllTime Larrys!

1B – Larry Walker (AS)
2B – Larry Doyle (MVP)
SS – Larry Bowa (AS)
3B – Larry (Chipper) Jones (AS)
C – Lawrence (Yogi) Berra (HOF)

OF – Larry Doby (HOF)
OF – Larry Hisle (AS)
OF – Larry Parish (AS)
DH – Larry Herndon

SP – Larry French (AS)
SP – Larry Jackson (AS)
SP – Larry Dierker (AS)
SP – Larry Gura (AS)
SP – Larry Jansen (AS)

RP – Larry Anderson
RP – Larry Benton
RP – Lary Sorenson (AS)
RP – Larry Christianson

MGR – Larry Bowa

Bench – Larry McLean, Larry Gardner, Larry Kopf, Larry Brown, Larry Stahl, and Larry Haney