On Satire Bits: Vol. 54

How’s your week going so far? I’ve got a lot of little things on my plate, so my visits are limited … and I don’t see much changing the rest of the week.

Tuesday night was golf night. Although my wife told me that it was one of her worst games in some time, I had a good one – which was a good bounce-back from last week’s horrible round.

On to the mid-week dose of satire. Do you have any favorites? Can you develop your own headline using any combination of the info below? My combination is at the end. Have a good rest of the week!

Barber just latest in string of humans to find interest in what area man says

Boyfriend forced to express second-hand outrage

Battle of wits with unwieldly burrito nears thrilling end game

Mother considers son “Quite the little Cassanova”

No one in gang has heart to tell his police informant his cover’s blown

Mom calmly emptying dishwasher as if big argument didn’t happen 10 minutes ago

Rigorous battery of tests unable to determine if roommate broke up with girlfriend

Company immediately calls job applicant upon seeing “BA in Communications” on resume

Boyfriend forced to express secondhand outrage

Attorney friends catch up while briskly walking down courthouse steps

Bizarre assemblage of shapes visible through area man’s pockets

Evidence piling up Mom slept with one of her college professors

My Combo: Bizarre girlfriend unable to determine unwieldly burrito in boyfriend’s pockets

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On Satire Bits: Vol. 51

How has your week gone so far?

We were supposed to start our golf league tonight. I was on the fourth hole when the sky darkened and delivered a good bit of water. My wife’s league never got to the first tee. Oh well, we hope to have better luck next week.

Before we move on to this week’s satire bits, a reminded that the next post will be Time: The Musical – Act 2. The theme of this act is a specific time in the title, so come prepared to share!

On to the satire give you the extra energy to propel you toward the weekend. For those that like the extra challenge, use the information in this headlines (and only this headlines) to create your own combination headline. Mine is located at the end of this list.

Enjoy – and have a good rest of the week.

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Report: 96% of nation’s smut consumed by filthiest 1%

Man brings visiting parents into office to meet coworkers who can’t stand him

Area man’s knee making weird sound

Co-worker brought to place of unthinkable intimacy by team-building exercise

PR firm advises US to cut ties with Alabama

Doomed rabbit to teach 8-year old responsibility

Couple going at it like tied, sexually incompetent rabbits

22-year old get job at website

Congressional high priests concocts farm subsidy bill in legislative cauldron

Study reveals conditions in women’s prison deplorably unsexy

Man didn’t expect sex with prostitute would be so sexually fulfilling

College roommates surprised to find dorm room has one king-size bed

My Combination:  Eight-year-old rabbit teaches sexually incompetent Alabama

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On Satire Bits: Vol. 44

How’s your week so far?

I’ve had a productive week so far, even though Cincinnati is in the midst of a several day blast of cold. Then again, we’ve got it easy compared to the people in the north central states and parts of Canada.

It’s time to step up to the celebratory buffet for a healthy scoop of midweek satire from The Onion. Any favorites?

Let’s add a twist. Given the information in the headlines and only that information, create your own original satire headline. In order to not spoil your fun, mine is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Man on Death Row seeks to read entire Harry Potter Series

Pathetic man states, “I am a brand”

Man discovered inside Nicholas Cage costume

Nobody at Capital One remembers why Vikings are in its ads

Half-dressed man frantically scrambles out of home after hearing Toyotathon deals won’t last long

Man wakes up from bender with financial problems solved

Department of Interior releases new stick

Different server brings order

Hardee’s introduces shame curtains for customers to eat behind

Long wait for big toenail to fall off nearly over

My combination: Half-dressed server inside Nicholas Cage costume in Toyotathon ad

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On Satire Bits: Vol. 43

How’s your week? So far, my week has delivered the unexpected. Nothing major, but a host of abnormalities. Then again, I deal with them and move on.

I really enjoyed writing yesterday’s post about the speck. Thanks to Robin for adding a wonderful video that contains many interesting facts. Elyse’s Stardust video was a good musical treat.

This post happens to be a milestone – #1,100. Many of you remember the party for 1,000 this past September, which was a lot of fun for me.

It’s time to step up to the celebratory buffet for a healthy scoop of midweek satire from The Onion. Any favorites?

Let’s add a twist. Given the information in the headlines and only that information, create your own original satire headline. In order to not spoil your fun, mine is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Congressman torn between meaningless pledge to anti-tax zealot, well-being of nation

Environmental ad campaign encourages turning shower off after showering

Hardass cop finally finds time to play games

First totally naked Marine shares thoughts about fighting in Afghanistan

CEO’s girlfriend wearing his suit around the house

New study finds primitive customers capable of buying tools from hardware store

Toddler leader calls for increased duck visibility

Victoria Secret fashion show a hit among people not knowing pornography exists

Nation’s grandparents voice concern over reading-light levels

Boy Meets World Spin-off a dream come true for fans who grew up in and still live in the ‘90s

Here’s my combination: CEO’s first totally naked girlfriend torn between buying tools and pornography of anti-tax zealot

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On Satire Bits: Vol. 41

Happy New Year!

We rung in 2013 from a ballroom dance event, and then attended a brunch party the next day. Hopefully your holiday was a safe one! How did you spend New Years’ Eve?

To start the work week, a dose of satire from The Onion is a good idea. Besides identifying your favorite, here’s the challenge – develop a new headline by combining 2 or more from those below. Enjoy!

Defeated Man Victorious

Extensive FAQ Page Dispels Any Lingering Confusion about Popular Boston Duck Tour

Anorexic Woman at Gym Looking Good

Area Man Impresses Date by Eating Calamari Appetizer as Fast as Possible

Intern Just Happens to be Beautiful 22-year old Woman

Second-Person Narrative Enthralling You

Area Man never in the Mood to do Things He Hasn’t Done Before

Man Stays Up Most of Night Rocking Cat Back to Sleep

Pan Left to Soak Now Predates All Current Roommates

Area Woman Finally Uploads all 12 Million of her Vacations Photos to Facebook

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