On Satire Bits: Vol. 104

Greetings from hot and steamy Cincinnati … and that unseasonably comfortable weather pattern of last week is a mere distant memory. How’s your weather? And your week so far?

I’ve spent a lot of time volunteering to water two newly seeded areas at the condo. because of the size and slope of the second area, that will be a challenge … and the whole process is time-consuming.

Golf today was better than last week … but not stellar … however, (and once again) at least the company was good.

Let’s move along to your mid-week dose of satire courtesy of The Onion. It’s also time for the return of the combo challenge where you get a chance to create your own headline from the words in the headlines below. My combo is at the end, so select your nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions, pronouns, and interjections in order to create your headline. Have a good rest of the week.

Word search called off

Universal Studios, Warner Brothers enter talks to reduce stockpiles of unproduced robots

Warm weather finally allows man to get outside, explore new ways to sweat

Coast Guard going to let stranded yacht owner sweat it out a little more

Man has no idea what to do with good mood

New PS4 feature allows user to close eye and imagine really fun game

Woman who changed self to please boyfriend enjoying happy long-term relationship

Cable executive’s one-man show now mandatory viewing for subscribers

Man realizes he’s beginning to stand for something

Mayan word for ‘Apocalypse’ actually translates more accurately as “Time for Pale Obese Fun Monsters’

My Combo: Stranded Warner Brothers sweat as cable executive in good mood beginning to imagine one-man apocalypse after Coast Guard called off search

On Satire Bits: Vol. 103

It’s mid-week, so it’s time to check on everyone, so I hope all is well.

The weather front passing through brought us significant rain and a drastic change in weather … it’s no sunny, pleasantly warm with a touch of coolness in the breeze … amazingly, very uncharacteristic of July! … and this is true for much of the eastern half of the USA.

Lousy golf today, then again … after a good streak, I was due to have my worst round in several months. That’s OK because as I told the other three after the last hole …. lousy golf but great company.

Life: The Musical is the next post with “School” being the Act 7 theme. I expanded the word list, so song titles with the following words are acceptable: School, Teacher, Student, College, compound words beginning with school, a specific grade level (be careful). The performance starts Wednesday, 9: 30 PM (Eastern US).

The recent super moon sparked an idea for your midweek satire as I dived into The Onion’s archives searching for headlines. Any favorites? Enjoy and have a good rest of the week.

Kim Jong-Un announces plan to bring Moon to North Korea

Colorado wildfire spreads to Moon

Area mooning goes unnoticed

Footage of Neil Armstrong playing saxophone on Moon clearly a fake

Moon finally hatches

Pope announces plan to build Moon Vatican

NASA acquires Moon for Kennedy Space Center exhibit

Majority of Americans believe US already has a Moon base

North Korea celebrates as Kim Jong-Un becomes first man to walk on the Moon

Neptune uses Uranus to moon Jupiter ….  (but not from The Onion)

On Satire Bits: Vol. 102

How’s your week going? I’ve been dealing with a set of run-around tasks, but I made progress.

We were supposed to get a good dose of rain today, but who knows what happened. On the plus side, golf league went on as scheduled. It was a fun night scramble in between the end of the first half and the start of the second. We finished second, which was good considering we beat teams with more talent.

It seems I got the notifications issue corrected by clearing a box that mysteriously got checked.

Courtesy of The Onion’s archives, last week’s satire featured headlines about parenting. During my wandering through the depths of the archives, I found other interesting collections around the same theme. The first one is the graphic below, but for more, see the linking below the graphic. Do any of these readings capture your attention?

OnionParentingBook

Image from The Onion

 

Bonuses from The Onion – Any favorites in these lists?

Have a good rest of the week!

On Satire Bits: Vol. 101

How’s your week going? We in the US have a national holiday approaching (July 4th), so it’s a short work week for many. Any exciting plans ahead?

Hot and muggy summer weather has a grip on Cincinnati. It’s getting ready to storm, thus my Thursday, the weather is supposed to be fantastic! … so I hope your weather is good.

Last Sunday we drove to Indianapolis (a little over 2 hours) for a ballroom dance event. The venue, the Indiana Roof Ballroom, is quite unique, so I invite you to see the Google images search here. It’s an indoor venue that appears to be on a rooftop at night … and the dance floor is round!

The first half of golf season is over, and I think my partner and I finished in the middle of the pack. Blah … but thanks to my strong play the past 3 weeks, hooray to me for winning one of the individual honors.

In late week’s centennial edition of Satire Bits, I received several suggestions for theme-oriented collections of satire. I searched depths of The Onion’s archives about child rearing and parents. (Thank you Patty @ Learn More Everyday) … Have a good rest of the week. Any favorites?

Proud parents watch as baby form first brand loyalties

New parents desperately seeking other new parents for socializing

Nails, hair cared for better than child

Report: 47% of satellites currently monitoring celebrity parenting

Tiger Woods putts baby into diaper

Mariana Trench once again named worst place to raise children

Smug, new mom going to start blog

Parents urge son to invest in improv comedy education

Area woman says, “Now there’s a stranger who could use some of my child-rearing advice”

Baby put on phone told parents hate her

6-year old stares down bottomless abyss of formal schooling

Increasing number of parents opting to have children school-homed

Man raised by parents struggling to adjust to human society

Parents urged to suck infant’s pacifier to prevent allergies

Area boy states, “I have earned the right to not call shotgun”

Study: Men with small gonads are better dads

Parents at graduation celebrate child’s last accomplishment

On Satire Bits: Vol. 100

Welcome to the 100th edition of Satire Bits. Nothing special, just the same old drivel.

Hope your week has gone well so far.

  • My eye vision is the same, and I’m waiting for the call to schedule my next test (and I don’t understand the delay)
  • Even with the eye problem, my golf game has been good.
  • Life: The Musical – Act 6 is the next post featuring songs with teen(s), teenager(s), teenage, or a specific teen year in the song title – Curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 pm (US Eastern)

For your mid-week dose of satire, I dived into the depths of The Onion archives looking for treasures regarding the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) – a federal agency is responsible for “protecting  the public health” regarding food products, cosmetics, and medical drugs, vaccines, and medical devices. I’ve even included some with a caption below the appropriate image (all from The Onion). Any favorites? Do you have an ideas on topics for future Satire Bits? Have a good rest of the week.

FDA prepares nation for switch to digital food format

FDA approves prescription placebo

FDA reports half of Americans believe in medical conspiracy theories

FDA reports half of Americans believe in medical conspiracy theories

 

FDA and Dr. OZ clash over apple juice

FDA: Lucky Charms no longer a complete breakfast

FDA deems new drug as safe as anything can be in this crazy world

FDA official states, “Just eat the damn vegetable”

FDA official states, “Just eat the damn vegetable”

 

FDA deems human clones safe for consumption by other human clones

FDA order recall of all panther meat just to see if anyone eats panther

FDA cancels bacon recall after finding US population already at it all

FDA approves salmonella

FDA approves salmonella

 

FDA recalls all food except grapes

FDA okays every drug pending approval, takes rest of the year off

FDA call concrete breast implants “structurally sound”

FDA approves prescription placebo

FDA approves prescription placebo

 

FDA reports new sleeping pill causes dramatic weight gain and missing cats

FDA approves depressant drug for the annoyingly cheerful

FDA approves new drug for treatment of social anxiety

FDA approves new drug for treatment of social anxiety

 

 Except for the opening images, all images are from The Onion.