Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 217

On Politics
My state (Ohio) is one of 15 states with a law against false political statements. Challenge to the law has reached the US Supreme Court has some interesting situations, such as Ohio’s Solicitor General arguing for the law that his boss (State Attorney General) wrote a letter about the law being unconstitutional. Given the high court’s rulings of money is a form of speech, I can see a ruling opening up the vaults for more deception – but time will tell. Here’s a story about the case from respected court writer Lyle Denniston, plus a synopsis with additional resources about the case.

Although I think columnist Charles Krauthhammer is a conservative crank, I enjoyed this column about campaign finance.

Here’s an interesting timeline with various milestones about bipartisan efforts.

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Gas station clerk glad to see Pump 2 doing so well today
Fisher-Price designer would like to see 2-year-old try and choke on newest version
White male privilege squandered on job at Best Buy
Casinos getting people to play longer by telling them civilization destroyed
Man with no plans too exhausted to go out
Baseball catcher keeps signalling “I love you”

Interesting Reads
One person’s opinion on the next Ukraine
Surprise birth of the scientific method
Vietnam War Maps
Animated map about the North Africa campaign WW II
Book review about John Wayne

On Potpourri
I tried not to focus on the stats, but I can’t help noticing that the numbers here are tanking to pathetic levels. Is anyone else experience this?

Earlier this week I mentioned the weight of handbells. Think of handbells like a piano key, that is each bell is a single note. Here’s a link showing the weight and diameter of each bell by different manufacturers. You will notice that the larger bells can be aluminum or brass. (For non-US readers, 1 ounce= 28.4 grams, 1 pound (lb) = 2.2 kg, and 1 inch = 2.54 cm)

If all goes as planned, Life: The Musical returns next week. I will announce Act 3’s theme on the upcoming Monday Morning Entertainment. Curtain time will be Wednesday, 9:30 PM (US Eastern)

A Saturday Morning Cartoon Classic is on the docket for tomorrow.

Here are your weekend celebrations

  • (Weekend) Satchmo Days, Fiddler’s Frolic, Nation’s Powwow, Interstate Mullet Toss, Mariachi Days, Pie Championships
  • (Fri) DNA Day, Plumbers Day, Malaria Awareness Day, Red Hat Society Day, Penguin Day, Zucchini Bread Day
  • (Sat) Arbor Day, Audubon Day, Do-Dah Day, Bob Wills Day, Eeyore’s Day, Hug an Australian Day, Dance Day, Go Birding Day, Animals in the Laboratory Day, Hairball Awareness Day, Help a Horse Day, Herb Day, Kids-and-Pets Day, Rebuilding Day, Pretzel Day, Intellectual Property Day, Richter Scale Day, Save the Frogs Day, Sense of Smell Day, Healing Day
  • (Sun) Babe Ruth Day, Mantanzas Mule Day, Morse Code Day, Mother-Father Deaf Day, Pinhole Photography Day, Morse Code Day, Prime Rib Day

To send you into the weekend, here’s a flashback to 1971 with headliners Blood, Sweat, and Tears and their hit Lucretia Mac Evil. Enjoy, have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

On Satire Bits: Vol. 91

Warm weather is upon us, thus it’s time for golf league to start. Of course, we were supposed to start last week, but the league secretary graciously postpone the start due to miserable weather. How’s the weather been in your area?

How’s your week going so far? An interesting thing happened to me at this week’s handbell rehearsal. Since January, I have been playing some of the large bass bells. Keep in mind that handbells are made of brass – thus one of the bells I play on one song weighs 8.25 pounds (3.7 kg). One has to be careful, but I think it caused a mild hyperextension of my elbow.

The hyperextension and the start of golf league isn’t the best timing. As I always do before playing, I took some time on the practice range …. and to my surprise the elbow didn’t bother me, thus I played without any problems. The elbow area remains tender, so time will tell if it heals enough to be able to play this Sunday. Believe me – swinging a heavy piece of brass is much different that swinging a golf club.

Let’s move on our midweek-dose of satire courtesy of The Onion. Any favorites below? Don’t forget the extra challenge of making your own satirical headline by reusing the words in the headlines below. My combo is at the end. Enjoy and have a good rest of the week.

Coworkers currently G-chatting about you

Man spends weekend binge-watching neighbor

Study: More children growing up in single-parrot households

So-called Christian has erection

Report: Only 20 minutes until introverted man gets to leave party

Area mother doesn’t see why Thai people need to make food so spicy

McDonald’s now offering bereavement prices

Expectant parents throw some values together at the last minute

Dog held against will inside Skype window

Imperial inspector to arrive by railcar this afternoon

My Combo: Neighbor spends 20 minutes watching McDonald’s erection

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 216

On Politics
The Senate Conservative Fund (SCF) has endorsed the primary challenger to Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY). To counter SCF, Sen. McConnell (who has a nasty side to him), vows to attack all their endorsed primary candidates: “I think we are going to crush them everywhere. I don’t think they are going to have a single nominee anywhere in the country.”

Cheers to Congress for not being in session.

I’m looking forward to voting in the May 6th Ohio Primary. The ballot is short and not many people will vote, but I will officially make my statement at a new precinct.

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Determined restaurant patrons tough it out on chilly patio
Parent surprised cruel teen daughter hasn’t pushed classmate to breaking point yet
Biologists confirm God evolved from chimpanzee deity
Area man mystified by layout of adjacent town’s grocery
Last living California Raisin dies of prostate cancer

Interesting Reads
Misery among MDs (Thanks Mouse for this, and thanks Carrie for approving)
Science and the word theory
Dog sex
Ten biggest earthquakes
Interactive map of U-2 boats in WW II

Bonus Reads: The week marked the Titanic’s 102nd anniversary, so here’s a collection of related articles.
Fascination with the Titanic (Smithsonian)
The Departure (Titanic-Titanic)
A news story before the movie (Newsday)
Queenstown: The last stop (Real Clear History)
A letter: a first-hand account (Telegraph)

On Potpourri
Earlier this week I saw a review of the book Why Science Does Not Disprove God. Although I am Christian, I absolutely agree – plus add this – science cannot prove God either.

As many we watching this week’s Blood Moon, snow clouds blocked Cincinnati’s view. Here’s an article from National Geographic about lunar myths from around the world.

Upon seeing a recipe with marshmallow earlier this week on a blog, I couldn’t resist asking if they used natural or synthetic marshmallows in the recipe. The blogger kindly responded synthetic – but all its ingredients are natural.

The grocery store headline from The Onion (above) reminds me how the growth (in size/space) of grocery stores over time. Cincinnati-based Kroger, the nation’s largest grocery retailer, recently published these stats regarding their average store size
1930s: 2,000 sq ft
1960s: 12,500 sq. ft
1980s: 42,000 sq. ft.
2000: 53,000 sq. ft.
2013: 61,000 sq. ft (their largest store in our area is 123,000 sq. ft)

This week marked the 35th anniversary of The Beast, a classic and the world longest wooden roller coast found at Kings Island amusement park near Cincinnati. After watching the report below, anyone wanting to take a ride can click here.

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In my musical events hear (such as Life: The Musical), I enjoy listening to the songs readers submit … thus encourage others to do so. Many thanks to all!

The Easter weekend means the handbell choir playing. Three songs this year, but here’s good recording of cheerful tones of Enduring Joy.

Given a major holiday weekend, the Saturday Morning Classic Cartoon series resumes next weekend.

Here are your weekend celebrations

  • (Fri) Golf Day, Pet Owner’s Independence Day, Amateur Radio Ray, Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day, Animal Crackers Day
  • (Sat) Auctioneers Day, Amaretto Day (Yes!), Husband Appreciation Day, Garlic Day, Hanging Out Day, Record Store Day
  • (Sun) Spring Astronomy Day, Look a Like Day, Plum Pudding Day, Food Day, Pineapple Upside Down Cake Day, Lima Bean Respect Day, Go Fly a Kite Day

To send you into the weekend, here’s a flashback to when I was in elementary school – the year is 1964, and the hit is Glad All Over by the Dave Clark Five. Enjoy, have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 215

On Politics
I find it interesting how former Florida Governor. Jeb Bush’s name has been receiving much attention of late as the frontrunner-for-the-moment regarding the Republican presidential candidacy in 2016.

Recent comparisons of President Obama to President Johnson (LBJ) confuses me.

This Pew Research Center poll provides interesting data about feelings regarding the Affordable Care Act. Although many citizens may have concerns about the law, while one party focuses on its repeal, the other party defends it – thus there doesn’t seem to be much interest in Congress to improve it.

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Forbes release 2014 list of most-punchable CEOs
Spider invasion leads to Mazda recall
Alcohol unfairly blamed for local man’s impaired judgment
FedEx confirms more than 600,000 people try to mail themselves each year
Landmark Supreme Court decision lets American cram cash directly into politicians’ mouths

This is not from The Onion, but because Friday is Barbershop Quartet Day, here’s a mid-post dash of humor that’s not for the easier offended. As a time saver, start at 50 seconds.

Interesting Reads
Sweden, Finland, Russia, and NATO
Geopolitics of Energy
Brain waves and tango dancers (Thanks Elyse)
Extinct musical instruments
An LA native spent 4 days in Cincinnati and posted about it
The USS Thresher
Trent’s post about bloggers losing followers

On Potpourri
This week we get an old office chair out with the garbage. Once I heard the garbage truck outside, I looked out the window to see if they took the chair. To my surprise, it was in the street, but in front of my neighbor – so I watched … and then discovered that one of the two workers would sit in the chair and hold on to the truck as the other drove to the next building.

This post by Khamillion is very moving. It’s a short read with awesome images, so I encourage you to visit. Thanks to Cayman (@Drinks Well with Others) for directing me there.

For those who enjoy unique architecture, Cathy (@LargeSelf) shared this link featuring images of the expansion at the Denver Art Museum.

If I can get my act together, I’m hoping Life: The Musical returns next week.

Get ready! … The next post marks the return of Saturday Morning Classic Cartoons!

Here are your weekend celebrations

  • (Weekend) Youth Service Days
  • (Fri) Barbershop Quartet Day, Day of Silence, Education & Sharing Day, Louie Louie Day, Pet day, Parkinson’s Disease Awareness Day, Eight-track Tape Day
  • (Sat) Licorice Day, Big Wind Day, Walk on the Walk Side Day, Slow Art Day, Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day, Human Space Flight Day, Drop Everything and Read Day, Look Up in the Sky Day
  • (Sun) Scrabble Day, Baby Massage Day, Peach Cobbler Day

Given the celebrations, two classic songs equally qualify as worthy to send you into the weekend. Because both are worthy of high praise, I will put them in chronological order. Enjoy, have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Louie, Louie (The Kingsmen, 1963)

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Walk on the Wild Side (Lou Reed, 1972)

On Satire Bits: Vol. 89

Midweek greetings to you from Cincinnati. How has your week gone for you so far? All of us are transitioning seasons, but one must remember that our two hemispheres are in opposite seasons.

Spring has definitely arrived as budding and blooms are coming forth, warm has replaced cold, and the rainy days don’t bother me because I keep this past winter in my head as a reference point. Baseball has also started, golf fans will see the blooming Azaleas at Augusta during the week’s Masters, and my golf league starts next week.

After two weeks in the new home, our refrigerator finally arrived. The supplier originally set the store the wrong model, but the store offered and provided a loaner without asking! Cheers to that family-owned appliance store!

Although we completed our move, I remind myself that others are also in the process, such as Raye (@Jots), Debra (@Airports), and Georgette (@Georgette) … plus Marina (@Art by) did so a few months ago. My heart goes out to those fine people because moving is incredibly stressful!

With all that in mind, now is the perfect time for your mid-week boost of satire courtesy of The Onion. This random batch of headlines also provides a chance for the willing to create their own satirical headline from the words in the headlines below. My combo is at the end, so good luck and have a good rest of the week.

Lunchbox mostly medication

Horrified man suddenly realizes he’s putting down roots in Charlotte

Media company lays off dozens of unskilled bloggers

New study shows bones are incredibly cool

Content could be hotter, more social

Majority of office’s supplies used to apply for different job

Man moving to new city never took time to truly loathe surroundings

Newly-tenured professor now inspired to work harder than ever

Nation terrified after millions lose consciousness for 8 hours last night

Report: Girlfriend’s parents could hear everything

My Combo: Man horrified to hear media company inspired to make girlfriend’s parents incredibly cool