On a Handy Monday

Hope everyone enjoyed the Super Bowl. If you are like me, your hands here frequently in the party’s food area.

It’s all hands on deck in the Navy, but that wasn’t in the Village People lyrics. Nor was Bill Hands, who pitched for the Cubs many years after Mordecai Three-Finger Brown manned the Wrigley Field mound. While five-finger discount refers to shoplifting, a six-finger discount refers to the shoplifter flipping the middle finger at a store employee when living the store after shoplifting.

Meanwhile, this one-minute video isn’t all thumbs. Enjoy the handy video – which actually is a commercial you didn’t see on the Super Bowl. Have a good week.

27 thoughts on “On a Handy Monday

  1. Tsk, tsk. Your Monday posts are moving farther and farther into Sunday night. For shame! 😀
    So, you think the guy in the video got paid? Would that make it a …..
    (We interrupt this joke to avoid a lewd and disgusting punchline. We now return you to your post, already in progress.)
    Some schmendrick (or more than one) spray-painted some graffiti on the base of Harry Caray’s statue. I suggest giving them the finger, then cutting off the fingers they use to work the spray can. After they scrub the statue clean with their toothbrushes. Then we can all give them a 5-finger sandwich.
    I could suggest an alternate wording for the Navy’s command more fitting to the Village People, but I’ll be nice since I’m a fan. Don’t want to get out of hand! 😉
    And remember, the military salutes with 4 fingers, the Boy Scouts with 3, and the Cub Scouts with 2. Why not 5? ‘Cause the thumb ain’t a finger. On some people, after they’re injured, it’s a toe.
    So I’ll hand it back to you and your nimble fingers. Have a good late Sunday and a good week! And don’t let the mid-week temperatures freeze your fingers (or anything further south, shall we say) off! 😀

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    • John,
      Hold on there … I typically most these on Sunday night. Actually do most of my postings between 8:30-9:30 pm for the next day. This one was a bit later than normal because of the game. Love the salute factoid. Believe it or not, my fingers are heading back to the paint brush soon, then onto the paint roller later. Yippee!!!

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    • Melissa,
      VW Darth Vadar kid was a hoot. Since it was one that VW put on the web before the game, I saw it on the Today show that morning … but I still enjoyed it during the game. Meanwhile, back to the painting for me. Thanks for visiting.

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      • Yeah, it sounds good, but one little problem. There’s a couple theatres, very similar to the one motormouth takes us, that are falling apart due to neglect – in one case, complete with a concert grand piano rotting on stage. Maybe little rapper boy should’ve donated a little of his paycheck from FIAT (yeah, your Chrysler 200 is powered by FIAT, homeboy) and donated it to the library whose ceiling is starting to collapse, with all the books still on the shelves. It’d be nice if everybody who pounds their chest and says “I’s from da Motor City” would step out of their Mercedes and BMWs with the 22″ gold rims, and give a little back. Then again, I’m weird that way. (If you want the link to the pictures, I’ll get it from my wife – I deleted it ’cause looking at those beautiful buildings crumbling and flaking broke my architect’s heart.)
        And sorry, no smilie faces – this is a SORE topic with me.

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        • John,

          Many classic theaters across our country have fallen into deterioration … yet, sad as they are classic venues. On the other hand, “buying American” isn’t an easy as it seems. Which is American: the GM car from Mexico or the Honda from Ohio? Plus, it FIAT didn’t step to the plate, would Chrysler still be in business today? (That we don’t really know). Then again, your point is more about practicing what one preaches. Thanks for sharing.

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        • That was the point I was after. I get tired of big stars whining about the condition of their hometowns (yes, even my beloved Chicago has plenty of eyesores), only to find they live in the California hills, driving S-class Mercedes with oversize gold rims. If you want to root for Detroit, fine. If you come from 8 Mile Road, no problem. Take your millions, ditch the fancy stuff, and go help your hometown.
          Actually, I applaud FIAT’s takeover. Chrysler’s gotten lazy leaning on Jeep’s product line and its’ own minivans. FIAT makes very good cars, the Bravo and Punto being far better than any of Chrysler’s current crap (most left over from Mitsubishi and MB 3 generations ago). Me, I’m holding out for the 500 – a little fun nutty car, that you order parts for from Abarth, and then go hunt 5-litre Mustangs!
          Oh, and you think it’s bad today knowing what’s foreign and what’s domestic? My wife’s 1978 Pinto carried an engine from Germany. Anything to do with the engine was metric measure. Anything with the rest of the car was Imperial. You needed inch-calibrated wrenches to remove ancillary equipment, and millimetre-calibrated wrenches to take out the spark plugs, water pump (but not A/C), and the power steering pump. The radiator came out Imperial. Oh, how I HATED that car!!!

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        • Actually, as Fords went, the Pinto wasn’t too bad – VERY similar in layout to the Vega. (It’s only dumb luck that gave the Pinto the “bomb rep” instead of the Vega!) The Imperial/metric mix was HIGHLY annoying, but it’s what I call an honest car. Only one luxury item – A/C. Other than that, it was stick, carb, manual steering (yeah, I mis-stated it had a power steering pump – my bad), manual windows, the lot. It had been poorly maintained even before my wife got it, and she knew little about car maintenance, so the oil got changed, but that was it. I won’t say I loved it, and it has MORE than a little bit to do with its’ Ford heritage, but it beat the HECK outta those POS Escorts from the 80s! A friend had one that leaked oil so badly, the entire right side of the car was SOAKED in dirty oil! I don’t miss Puddles, but I’m grateful for all it taught me. (It was my experiment car – I took it apart and put it back together for training purposes.)

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        • John,
          Just want you to know that a local friend (who is also a loyal reader here) asked me this question earlier today (we were talking on the phone: Who is John Erickson? 🙂

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        • Frank – Are you asking ME? How should I know who I am? Just because you talk to me at some point in the day, doesn’t mean that’s the me who knows who I am! Ask Melissa about my internal choir. (She suggests I should organise all my voices into one choir. I got enough voices in my head to form an armoured division!) You need to ask your friend which me. Once we get that figured out, I can take a poll and see which one of me actually wants to answer who I am. (Don’t worry, a fair percentage of me don’t speak English, so I can limit me down somewhat.)
          And just when you thought I couldn’t get any stranger….. 😉

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        • Frank – I just had a thought (it happens!). Your friend that asked about me – is he (or she) a current or former employee of either Cincinnati Bell telephone company or a consulting firm known as CBIS? If so, your friend might actually know me (or of me). I worked for Ameritech distributing software to the regional operating companies, including Cincinnati Bell, and did some consulting with (and for) CBIS. That would be so freaky if they’ve run across me or the stuff I wrote! (Oh no, I’m EVERYWHERE!) 😉

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  2. Happy Monday Frank! As I was mentioning at Al’s 2012 today, in Canada we do not get to watch the great US Super Bowl commercials that you guys get.

    We’re forced to watch (I find) very boring commercials… Sooooo any commercials are great within comparison to what I watched! Actually I got turned off on the Super Bowl, when I watched your National Anthem get clobbered by Christina Aguilera… Oh My, that did it for me.

    Have a great week!

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    • Hi Meesh,
      Bummer of lousy commercials for Canadian viewers. Then again, see the top rated ones in various articles today, then search to find them. 🙂 Some good ones, overall so-so. BTW …. Pepsi Max had some good ones.

      Aguilera did goof, but to her credit, she kept her poise and kept on going. I heard she issued an apology today, but I haven’t seen it. Thanks for commenting!

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      • Yeh Frank, in Canada, the CRTC has peculiar standards that prevent us from seeing the Super Bowl ads on the night of the game. So we got to see “Foot long” yeh hot dog ads I think from Subway and crappy car ad commercials. Bummer!

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        • Hello Meesh!
          Late checking in today, but good news is that I’m not painting … well, gotta deal with other issues.

          The whole commercial thing also has to do with “buying” airtime. So heck, if they want Canadians to see it, that means pay forth even more money … as if 3 million for 30 seconds isn’t already enough! OH well, at least you can see which ones got the best ratings, then search to see them.

          Oh well … I’ve gotta get back to work.

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        • Meesh, do you get any of the Turner networks up there? I know TBS does a “Funniest Commercials” every December that usually carries a number of the Super Bowl ads. I can also check and see if anybody (like one of the dozen ESPN channels I don’t watch) might be carrying a summary show. Worse comes to worse, you can always troll through YouTube! 🙂

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  3. Off-topic, but just a quick one. Do you know where West Chester is from you? If so, I got the following from the Department of Defense:
    Cpl. Lucas T. Pyeatt, 24, of West Chester, Ohio, died Feb. 5 in Helmand.
    For your sake, I hope you didn’t know the family. If you did, please let me know. I will try to get some form of condolence note to his family if you do. I usually just send notes through the relevant Department of Defense, though that can have unexpected results – I have had letters delivered to families in Australia, Romania, and Poland.
    Okay, enough heavy stuff. In 15 minutes (that’s 3 sets of 5 fingers) last season’s final episode of Top Gear starts. One hour (finger) after that, the new season starts with 2 episodes (fingers). And that makes me bring 10 fingers and 2 palms together in applause. (Hey, appreciate that. I think I hurt myself reaching for that finger linkage!) 😀

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    • John,
      Thanks for the news. I live on the other side of the city, but saw the scoop in the morning paper. Meanwhile, no painting for me today! Well, I have to dedicate time to Dad’s estate. Thanks for the update.

      Like

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