I stayed away from the internet while on the ship last week, which also has the downside of not reading my favorite bloggers and keeping up with the news – especially the satirical news from The Onion. With that in mind, here are some of the headlines I missed. Which is your favorite?
Deadbeat Congressman Spends Time with Constituents for First Time in Months
Obama Now Attempting to Get Each Word of Jobs Bill Passed Individually
Coal Lobby Warns Wind Farms May Blow Earth Off Orbit
Rams Take First Down Off to Enjoy the Beautiful Field Position
Adult Bookstore to Enhance Shopping Experience with Café
An Over-the-Top Chinese salute to Lady Gaga, with old people
Chicken Pox Lollipops Ineffective
NBA Says They Can Still Salvage a 10-Game Season
Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy by Moving to Remote Village
Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don’t Give A Shit?
Ford Unveils New Car for Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus
Save Money by Taking a Vacation Entirely in Your Mind
Security Guards Chase Naked USA Fan Around White House
Jennifer Lopez Comes Out with Own Clothesline Line
Facebook Increases User Control with New ‘Cancel Account’ Feature