On Satire News Bits: Vol. 9

Since I knowingly missed last week, now is the perfect time for a mid-week refresher to sent us toward the weekend. So let’s move on to some past headlines from The Onion that you may have missed. Any favorites?

Turkey Gobbles as Man on Hunting Trip Tell Father He’s Gay

Area Man Takes Up Piano for Sole Purpose of Learning Jurassic Park Theme

Snake Gets Tatoo of Dude on Face

Unsolicited Reported from Dept of Interior Finds Dry Humping is an Adequate Sex Alternative for Teens

Nations Substitute Teachers Want to Know “Who Threw That?”

Wooden Fruit Hoping to become Real Fruit Someday

Unreliable Man Angry He is not Judged by that Time he was Reliable

Idiot Man Child Destroys Set of TV Jeopardy

Nation Shocked to Discover Liz Taylor Wasn’t Really Dead

World’s Youngest Person Born