On Satire News Bits: Vol. 9

Since I knowingly missed last week, now is the perfect time for a mid-week refresher to sent us toward the weekend. So let’s move on to some past headlines from The Onion that you may have missed. Any favorites?

Turkey Gobbles as Man on Hunting Trip Tell Father He’s Gay

Area Man Takes Up Piano for Sole Purpose of Learning Jurassic Park Theme

Snake Gets Tatoo of Dude on Face

Unsolicited Reported from Dept of Interior Finds Dry Humping is an Adequate Sex Alternative for Teens

Nations Substitute Teachers Want to Know “Who Threw That?”

Wooden Fruit Hoping to become Real Fruit Someday

Unreliable Man Angry He is not Judged by that Time he was Reliable

Idiot Man Child Destroys Set of TV Jeopardy

Nation Shocked to Discover Liz Taylor Wasn’t Really Dead

World’s Youngest Person Born

26 thoughts on “On Satire News Bits: Vol. 9

  1. Hi,
    We have some good ones to pick from this week. 🙂

    “Snake Gets Tatoo of Dude on Face”
    Yes I can easily picture this, and it does look good.

    “Unsolicited Reported from Dept of Interior Finds Dry Humping is an Adequate Sex Alternative for Teens”
    I’m not going there. 🙂

    “World’s Youngest Person Born”
    This one is mind boggling. 😀

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  2. My favorite is: “Area Man Takes Up Piano for Sole Purpose of Learning Jurassic Park Theme.” This is no stretch, as a music teacher I’ve had adults ask me where they can take piano lessons in order to learn to play a favorite tune. In school music, band, orchestra, and choir students frequently point to a specific piece or song as their main reason for learning an instrument or joining a musical organization.

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    • Tim,
      Ah ha … great … you validate The Onion’s headline! On a side note, and another matter in itself, your story reminds me of the shame of schools’s cutting music programs. Thanks for visiting and sharing.

      Like

    • Kate,
      Welcome first-time commenter. (That’s my use of a word that spell check doesn’t like). Great to know that you have been tuned into The Onion for some time … which also means you appreciate satire. 🙂 Here, I’m bounce around topics, but the two regulars are Monday Morning Entertainment (to jump start the week) and Opinions in the Shorts (Fridays), a hodgepodge of notes and links about whatever. So, I hope you return. Thanks for visiting.

      Like

    • Les,
      Oh yes … The Onion is right up your alley! If they only had a picture with this headline!!! My fav is World’s Youngest Person Born … After all, some are timeless. Thanks for commenting.

      Like

  3. Yes.. I definitely missed this last week.. but I;m glad I got to read this today :). And this line.. Wooden Fruit Hoping to become Real Fruit Someday”… no chance in.. you know what LOL

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  4. I think I know a person who might be responsible for the headline “Unreliable Man Angry He is not Judged by that Time he was Reliable.” I think that is just hilarious! I look forward to your Onion list! Debra

    Like

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