On Satire Bits: Vol. 17

With yesterday’s heavy post on U.S. politics (my apologies to non-U.S. readers) and another night of golf struggles, nothing like a dose of satire to re-ignite the engines to propel us to the weekend. Please, please – a round of applause to The Onion for their contributions of satire. Any favorites from the list below?

Woman Sets Record for Longest Time Spent Talking about Oneself

Nearest Credible Role Model for Teen 350 Miles Away

Sweating, Shaking Man Never Going to Spend a Little Time with His Thoughts Again

Ascending Soul Already Misses Possessions

Apartment Returns to Pre-Hour Guest Level of Tension

Majority of Instances of People Getting Lives Back on Track Occur Immediately after Visit to Buffalo Wild Wings

Man in Headlock Just Wanted to Party

Study Shows 70% of High Fives Unwarranted

New Poultry-Stripe Gum Hardly Takes like Goose after Chewing for One Minute

Getting Grandma into Family Reunion T-shirt a 3-Person Job

Pope Lays-off 20 Cardinals