In my euphoria of finally playing acceptable golf, last night I published the wrong post – that is this post was supposed to be yesterday, and yesterday’s post today. Oh well, stuff happens.
Cheers everyone to the latest dose of satirical headlines from The Onion. Do you have any favorites from these morsels of humor?
Alabama’s School System’s Lone Textbook Falling Apart
County Fair Judges Blown Away by Local Heifer
Cops Cleared on Corruption Charges after Implicating Decorated Police Dog
Study Shows Mosquitoes Don’t Need to Bite Us
Nickname Persists in Spite of Surgery
It’s Easy to Tell What Area Man Will Look Like as Skeleton
Urban Planner Stuck in Traffic of Own Design
Bus Passenger Believes She Lives in a World Where Curried Shrimp is Odorless
Errant Keystrokes Produces Character Never Seen Before by Human Eye
NASA Announces Plans to Put Man on Bus to Cleveland
Anxiety-Ridden Man Rightly Ashamed of Every Single Thing He Does
Man to Give Another Cologne a Try
A Frank Angle 
I like them all, but the anxiety ridden man tops the list for me. And you are right–stuff happens
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LouAnn,
I wonder if man was in Bob Newhart’s support group. OH no … that’s assuming we’ve seen those old shows. Thanks for commenting.
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I bet he was – at least the original Newhart show was not all a dream!
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That was one of the best endings to a show ever. I heard that was a possibility, so I wasn’t caught off guard, but I sure wish I hadn’t known. And to signoff with the original giggle was a good too. Thanks for the reminder.
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Ha, I love the NASA one.
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Andrew,
Welcome first-time commenter. I must say, that is a good one! Thanks for visiting and hope you return.
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I’m blown away that you have multiple posts that you can actually mix up:
Area Blogger accidentally posts Wednesday Post on Tuesday.
My fav.
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Les,
Oh my … now that is a great headline hidden within the post. Love it. On the other hand, the drafts are currently running on empty … Area Blogger Going Crazy Without Drafts Ready to Publish … thanks for visiting.
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County Fair Judges Blown Away by Local Heifer
Anxiety-Ridden Man Rightly Ashamed of Every Single Thing He Does
Thanks for the chuckle. :+) Hope your having a good week!
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Starla,
Rural Montana Resident Laughs at County Fair’s Heifer Headline. Glad I was able to deliver some chuckles. Thanks for visiting.
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Ohio Gentleman gets second chuckle of the day from Rural Montanian Resident.
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Starla,
That’s wonderful! Many, many thanks. 🙂
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My fav: NASA Announces Plans to Put Man on Bus to Cleveland (I’ve been to Cleveland …)
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Elyse,
But probably not by bus! Thanks for commenting.
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loved all of them,my fav.
“Bus Passenger Believes She Lives in a World Where Curried Shrimp is Odorless”
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Soma,
Being that you cooked with curry at least once in your life, you must know the secret for the odorless curried shrimp. 😉 Thanks for commenting.
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Ok if this was true “Study Shows Mosquitoes Don’t Need to Bite Us”.. then why do I have a mosquito mark on my arm? lol. I missed your blog Frank 🙂
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Kay,
A rebel strain of mosquitoes is in our midst! …. or … What did you do to antagonize the little guy? Glad to see you again Kay! Thanks for visiting.
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These are hard to choose from…the Alabama textbook is pretty clever though.
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TBM,
Sad to say, it could be tough days ahead for the students.Thanks for visiting.
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Nickname for me – it just gets me wondering!
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Ginger,
Ah ha … even if you changed your hair to blonde, people who still call you Ginger! Wow …. thanks for sharing.
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They are ALL funny, Frank but I had two favorites:
Urban Planner Stuck in Traffic of Own Design – anyone who has driven around Pittsburgh’s highways will appreciate this one, especially the lanes of traffic that merge on bridges
Bus Passenger Believes She Lives in a World Where Curried Shrimp is Odorless – I used to cook with curry a lot, until one day I made it way too strong. My husband loved it but cleared the dance floor at a club later that night. Enough said 🙂
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Lynn,
I imagine the urban planner one is applicable in more cities than not. Meanwhile, thanks for sharing the curry story.
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Personally I have always expected that of mosquitos.
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Lori-Ann,
Oh my … you’ve been ahead of the rest of us! Thanks for commenting.
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curried shrimp. that could be bad on a hot day.
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Christine,
LOL … and to some people, on any day. Thanks for visiting.
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These are the best yet! I would have a hard time deciding my favorite, but I think “Nickname persists in spite of surgery” is just brilliant! Have a great day…with a minimal amount of stuff happening. That’s my goal for today, too! Debra
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Debra,
Glad you enjoyed these, but I didn’t think plastic surgery was legal in SoCal. 😉 Thanks for commenting.
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I like almost all of them, but Anxiety Man is the absolute winner.
I didn’t know that about Mosquitoes – my hatred intensifies!
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Fasab,
Anxiety Man has been a popular choice on this post. Thanks for commenting.
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Anxiety-Ridden Man – perfect, Frank!
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Izzie,
LOL … Why am I not surprised you enjoy this one! 😉 Hope all is well and thanks for stopping by.
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Of course mosquitoes don’t HAVE to bite us. They ENJOY biting us, the nasty little buggers!
And if the gent is stuck in traffic of his own design, how did we find out? (Hey, somebody who could plan his way INTO a traffic jam would probably forget a couple cell towers, too. 😀 )
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John,
Great point about mosquito enjoyment. Meanwhile, I’m wondering how the planner got out of the jam! Thanks for sharing your wit!
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Hilarious and too absurd~ 🙂
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Deborah,
Ah ha … now those are two of the key characteristics of this post! Thanks for commenting.
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Alabama (the first one) got me.
Congrats on the good goldround!
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Guapo,
Having a decent round was long overdue! Meanwhile, I can’t find it, but they also had a picture of the tattered text. Thanks for visiting.
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“Nickname Persists in Spite of Surgery” makes the mind EXPLODE with questions. What did they remove and/or alter that could have removed the nickname, AND did the poor fellow HAVE the surgery to get rid of the nickname? Ouch and ouch!
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John,
Your queries speak volumes. Glad you enjoyed these.
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