Getting back into my normal routine hasn’t been easy since returning from vacation. At least I’ve finally completed my rounds of visiting. Hopefully I haven’t forgotten anyone.
After 3 weeks away from golf league and seeing our lead drastically shrink, I had a strong return yesterday and the team did well too. Meanwhile, I have been teasing with announcements regarding a celebration here on Saturday – which can spill into Sunday. Well – here is the scoop – Saturday will be post #1000! So, I invite you and all your friends for a visit. The more the merrier, so tell your friends to visit and comment.
A toast to GingerFightBack for saying he missed my headlines from The Onion. Without any further delay, here’s some midweek satire. Any favorites?
Last Male Heir Watches Movie Alone on Laptop
Chicago Cubs Combine Seven Players to form One Giant Player called “Chicagozor”
Reporters Struggle to Maintain Energy until Election
CSI Set to Perform at Next Super Bowl Halftime Show
“Player to be Named Later” in 1992 Trade Finally Named
Putin Learn Putin Behind Plot to Assassinate Putin
Local Women would have Baked Blueberry Muffins I Jury was Sequestered
Severe Allergic Reaction Causes Florida to Swell Up Twice Normal Size
Former Spy Telescopes Turn to Space
Mismatched Tupperware Lids not a Problem after Devastating House Fire
Physicists Discover Our Universe is Fictional Setting of Cop Show called “Hard Case”
Executive Quits Fast Track to Spend More Time with Possessions
A Frank Angle 
Happy 1,000!
LikeLike
Not yet … this is 998.
LikeLike
Welcome back. I’m looking forward to Saturday. Here’s my favorite: Mismatched Tupperware Lids not a Problem after Devastating House Fire.
LikeLike
Elyse,
You have started a trend as the tupperware lids are a big hit so far! Thanks for sharing and looking forward to your attendance on Saturday. Plenty of food. beverages, and music on hand. Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
Those lids are always orphans. Always.
LikeLike
I will be there or be square on Saturday
glad you are back as well as your headlines
LikeLike
I know it’s a bit of sick humor, but I couldn’t help but let out a nice rumbly chuckle at Mismatched Tupperware Lids not a Problem after Devastating House Fire…
LikeLike
Alisha,
Don’t laugh … but the tupperware lids is the overwhelming favorite so far! Thanks for sharing and hope to see you on Saturday.
LikeLike
tupperware lids had me laughing out loud. congrats on the 1,000. my next post will be #400. yay us!
LikeLike
Rich,
No celebration yet. This is 998 …. but looking forward to your milestone! Meanwhile, the tupperware lids seems to be a big winner today! Thanks for visiting.
LikeLike
There too many really funny headlines this week it would be a lot of cut and paste.
I will stop by on Saturday for the celebration. Shall I bring deviled eggs or perhaps a side salad? Feeling silly congratulations early on 1000 posts that’s a lot of posting and editing that’s for sure. Keep up the good work. ( I checked my 0’s last time I remember I added a 0 or two to your milestone. )
LikeLike
Starla,
Glad to know that this batch caused multiple chuckles. As for Saturday, your presence is the most important thing … besides …. the event is catered … plus Guapo is in charge of music (but he doesn’t know it yet). See ya then … and thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
This one really made me laugh: Mismatched Tupperware Lids not a Problem after Devastating House Fire. Earlier today, I was trying to find the right lid to one of my bowls and failed. Blasted!
LikeLike
TBM,
Oh my … now that is funny! Thanks for sharing!!! Hope to see you on Saturday.
LikeLike
Wow, you’re fast approaching post 1,000. You must be in the running for the Cal Ripken, Jr. blogosphere award — plus you really do write posts. You’re not the type that publishes bloat like a picture of a flower with the caption, “Spring!” I’m looking forward to whatever you come up with over the weekend.
Gotta say I’m with my fellow commenters about the mismatched Tupperwear Lids Onion headline, too.
LikeLike
Lame,
Given 4 years and approach 1K, one would like I would have many more hits … but I have persevered, thus powered by enjoyment and what writing does for the brain cells. Meanwhile, you are in the legions who love the tupperware headline! See ya Saturday … and bring your friends!
LikeLike
I’ll visit you Saturday. Hey, do you remember when you asked me about “idiot zabel” — that goat cheese I like with the name I could not quite recall? It’s idiazable:
http://aroundtheworldcheese.blogspot.com/2009/02/idiazabal-cheese.html
LikeLike
Wow, 1,000 posts! That’s quite an achievement. I’m also intrigued by the mismatched Tupperware lids. 🙂
LikeLike
Paradise,
Hooray … even South Africans appreciate the tupperware lids headline. (It seems to be a popular choice). Meanwhile, hope to see you on Saturday … and feel free to invite your friends. 🙂
LikeLike
Well, I have to officially vote for the Cubs one, though the physicist one is also pretty good. I would vote for the reporters maintaining their energy, but that’s just a BIT too close to the truth! 😀
One thousand posts, eh? Wow! Not too many bloggers can (or in the future, will 😉 ) be able to top that. Congrats!
LikeLike
John,
No congrats yet as this is 998. Meanwhile, good choices on the headlines! Of course I figured the physicists one would grab your attention. 😉 Make sure you stop by Saturday! Who knows, maybe I’ll get some surprise guests. Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
I’m voting for the executive quitting to spend more time with his possessions. LOVE IT!!!
LikeLike
The ‘Putin’ one is pretty good. Then again just saying ‘Putin’ aloud is funny.
On the verge of a thousand post you say. Wow! Stay safe till then, no running with scissors..
At the speed am going I’ll have to hire someone to continue posthumously for me to achieve a 1000 post -hmmm, wonder what Putin is up to.
By the way I see your comments on a couple of blogs we both visit and given all the hype surrounding your big weekend. I thought I better come over before the big event.
LikeLike
Howl,
A welcome to any first-time commenter … and a special welcome because we cross paths elsewhere. The Putin one is just flat out funny to me. As I suggested to Fasab, if you haven’t seen him singing Blueberry Hill, it’s worth it. 🙂 Meanwhile, you are very welcome to attend Saturday’s festivities, and yes – your friends are welcome as well. PS: I typically do a post like this on Wednesdays … but also include some stuff from The Onion on Friday’s Opinions in the Shorts. Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
Have to go with Tupperware lids too. but I wonder if the frustration at not finding the right one led to the homeowner starting the fire.
Congratulations on 1000 to be Frank, which I’ll repeat on Saturday. Always a pleasure to read your posts.
And what would you like for a playlist (Ravel’s Bolero is the opener)?
LikeLike
Guapo,
The tupperware one is the unquestionable leader of the day. Meanwhile, good point about the fire’s origin! No playlist is needed as you get full reign (well, unless I give a request). Just a reminder, my left hand is prosthetic because Shania touched my original left hand. By the way, tell your friends they are welcome on Saturday. Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
Good bunch of onions this week. I’ve missed them.
I like the tupperware one as well, but my winner is “Severe Allergic Reaction Causes Florida to Swell Up Twice Normal Size”, no accounting for taste,eh? “Putin Learn Putin Behind Plot to Assassinate Putin” was well up in the running too, after all this super hero macho man of action has done nearly everything else.
Looking forward to Saturday. If there isn’t an award for this achievement I’m going to start one, so brace yourself. I”ll call it the “Mil Post” award and I’m thinking all you’ll have to do is tell everyone 1,000 random facts about yourself and nominate 1,000 other eligible recipients :()
PS: I’m serious about the award, but maybe not the last bit 😉
LikeLike
Fasab,
There is something about the Putin one that also cracks me up. Have you ever seen the video of him singing Blueberry Hill. (Yep, Putin on the Ritz ;)) … if not, it’s on YouTube (and somewhere here too). Great idea for the Mil Award, and the requirements are a hoot. Use your writing style to include the reqs, but then add a disclaimer. Meanwhile, thanks for commenting and see you Saturday. Your friends are welcome!
LikeLike
“Former Spy Telescopes Turn to Space” had a hopeful sound to it. Congrats also for your 1000th post. Keep them coming!
LikeLike
Tim,
You know me well enough to know to understand this comment … I have not yet reached 1000 … this is post 998 … thus two more to go …. and no celebration until it is reached. Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
i was so excited when the raisin hit the 1000 post mark, and i’m very excited for you, frank! ♥
LikeLike
Nonnie,
Especially given that you are a long-time classic, sure hope you can attend on Saturday. Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
Oh, I thought the special announcement was that you were having a milestone birthday! That’s so exciting that you’re celebrating one thousand posts. Unbelievable. I’m a long, long way behind you xx
LikeLike
Spiced,
Milestone birthday will be in February. Meanwhile, the party is on and you are one of the caterers. 🙂 See you there!
LikeLike
Executive Quits Fast Track to Spend More Time with Possessions
I know him, lots of hims and hers! I am sure this isn’t Onion.
Can’t wait for Saturday, I am so in awe.
Glad your game didn’t suffer, sure your team is glad to have you back. Bet they have explained why there will be no more 3 week holiday’s in your future.
LikeLike
Val,
Good choice of headline favorite … given executive compensation, it;s fitting.
At golf league I told some that I had uncovered information that someone had bribed my substitute, who ironically is now vacationing in Alaska! Meanwhile, a couple of weeks to go, so it is important that the two of us play well enough to hold on. Thanks for commenting and see you on Saturday … and feel free to bring friends. 🙂
LikeLike
It’s so great to have you back Frank! And 1000, wow, VERY impressive! Congrats on this milestone and looking forward to checking out the post.
LikeLike
Alex,
Only at 998, so not yet! 😉 Meanwhile, I need someone to consume the Shiner Bock on hand at the party. Up to the task? Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
LOL! I’ll sincerely give it my best effort. 😉
LikeLike
I’ll be checking it out on Saturday. 🙂
LikeLike
Mobius,
Thanks for visiting and see you on Saturday.
LikeLike
Genius! And congrats on the milestone! Although I’ve never really liked that term..reminds me of medical institutions somehow…so scratch that.
Congrats on your success. 🙂
PS thanks for your comment on my blog. Its really helpful to others. Cheers, AMS
LikeLike
Airport,
No congrats accepted yet because this is 998 – thus two to go to the milestone. Thanks for visiting and I hope you stop by from this weekend’s festivities!
LikeLike
So, you’re lining up all sorts of entertainment for Saturday. Have you asked Melissa over at WriteChic if she’d be the official dancing girl? 😉
LikeLike
John,
I have requested Ms. M’s presence as she is a gem! Meanwhile, I hope you participate in entertaining the visitors!
LikeLike
No problem. I do a mean Curly, I could play a bit of guitar, I could even juggle chainsaws. I’m not all that great, but the audience always seems to give me a hand. 😉
LikeLike
John … just be your witty self. 🙂
LikeLike
Frank, count me in! I’ll be here with new dress and shoes! And my world famous macaroni and cheese casserole. 🙂
LikeLike
kStreet,
A fun affair so I look forward to your attendance!
LikeLike
Posting one thousand blogs is a huge deal, btw. I’ll be here to congratulate you on the upcoming landmark post. 🙂
LikeLike
So, you have been writing/blogging for about four years? This is your 998 post…that is simply amazing to me. Over 92,000 hits…I am impressed!
LikeLike
Hood,
Thanks for the kind words. Plenty to celebrate, so I hope you get a chance to visit … and I’m confident Alex will be there because I made sure Shiner Bock was on hand for her.
LikeLike
I wouldn’t miss it.
LikeLike
Congratulations, Frank! I tipped the 500 view mark this week and I almost fainted. I can’t imagine 1000. Way to go! I won’t be able to stop by on Saturday (meeting my future son-in-law–I think? if he can survive one of my daughters–poor dude), but I’ll drop by as soon as the visit is over. Cheers!
LikeLike
E-Tom,
Not there yet, but 999 just went live after you commented. Meanwhile, the party will be going on into Sunday evening, so drop by when you can. Good luck with the meeting. 😉 Don’t scare him off!
LikeLike
I wonder why the Tupperware lids quote is getting so much attention. Is it because no one actually uses Tupperware anymore?
LikeLike
Rosie,
Very true. Then again, many still have it around … plus, I wonder how often “Tupperware” is used as a generic term. Any way, Tupperware had to be used to make the headline work. 🙂 Nonetheless, matching lids and containers can (at times) be a chore. Thanks for visiting.
LikeLike
FAVORITE~! “Mismatched Tupperware Lids not a Problem after Devastating House Fire”
Congrats on the millenium Frank. Well done! and thanks too for being a blogfriend.
LikeLike
Moe,
The tupperware is a classic and a definite winner with the people here .. meanwhile, the party is on the next post … and it is quite the event! Thanks for visiting.
LikeLike