Tonight was the final night in this season’s golf league. There was some rain to accompany the fall conditions that found us starting the night in first place by a slim 1.5 points. By the end of the evening, our lead was 9 – thus my partner and I are the reigning champions! Plus, each of us may have also captured the two individual awards – but we won’t know until the league secretary does the calculations.
Interestingly, my wife’s team was also victorious this year, so our household is in golf glory!
Enough of golf, let’s get on with the mid-week dose of satire from The Onion. Which is your favorite? Have a good rest of the week.
Area Couple has Mind-Blowing Ego Validation
Guy Who Dates Many Women Really Likes Kisses
Girl Friend Refers to Fan as Audience
Line Foreman Considering Asking Out Cute Welding Robot
Horrible Couple Wants Wedding to Reflect their Personalities
Doctor-Patient Relationship Getting Serious
Wedding DJ Finally Gets Chance to Listen to Black Eyed Peas on Own Time
Party Guy Finds Party Wife
Funky First-Date Idea: Ram Car through Military Checkpoint
New York Yankees Build New Vacation Stadium in the Hamptons
Let’s see – I’ve sort-of tried the First-Date Idea, sans the ramming and a girlfriend, so I think I’ve got to let my geek flag fly and go for the Foreman Asking Out The Welding Robot. After all. robots need love, too! π
So, a household of golf champs, eh? Who was it that said “Golf is a beautiful walk spoiled by a little white ball?” (or words to that effect).
Did you realise today was the birthday of Olivia Neutron-Bomb … er … Newton-John AND Linda Hamilton? Dang, what a lucky day! π
LikeLike
John,
Regardless how I play, my golf enjoyment rate is well over 90% because I’m one who doesn’t let the little white ball get to me. Meanwhile, I didn’t realize the birthdays … thanks for the choosing the robot and for commenting.
LikeLike
Hmmm. As a fake medical professional, I am professionally bound to choosing this Onion headline: Doctor-Patient Relationship Getting Serious
LikeLike
Elyse,
Amazing how our personal experiences related to The Onion. π Thanks for visiting.
LikeLike
I have to say I like the Yankees vacation stadium in the Hamptons….because it could almost be true.
LikeLike
Weebs,
My recent discovery of you being a Yankees fan served as my spark to use it this week. π … so thanks for verifying that it could become a reality!
LikeLike
I’m with Weebles about the Yankees vacation stadium one, too — plus it made me guffaw.
LikeLike
Lame,
Given that I have several NYC regular readers, thanks for confirming that I would get interesting reactions. π
Oh my … As I was responding to you, I just saw an unbelievable commercial for the season … let me just say Ch-Ch-Ch=Chia. Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLike
Wow, they’re (whoever “they” are) still making Chia pets?!? … I guess bad taste never goes out of style.
LikeLike
Lame,
Ohhhhh …. so close … but no cigar … However, you get a special runner-up prize for comment being comment 15,001 … Enjoy.
LikeLike
I finally got a chance to watch my runner-up prize video just now, Frank. Considering that I arrived work 20 minutes late Wednesday morning, I could have sorely used that Chia pet alarm clock!
LikeLike
LOL … glad you enjoyed the prize! Meanwhile, all I can say is that you will have to wait until the upcoming Opinions in the Shorts for something very important about chia pets. Because I don’t want you to lose any sleep in anticipation, I usually post between 9-930 pm (tonight).
LikeLike
Thanks for the heads up Frank. I’ll make sure to set my alarm clock.
LikeLike
then again … see it at work will bring joy!
LikeLike
I’ll keep that in mind. The Boss is not in on Fridays.
LikeLike
Congratulations with the family’s victories. As for the satiric punch lines, I think the girl friend’s audience is my pick. By the way I take it you have recovered from the big party?
LikeLike
Otto,
Outside of winning in a couple’s league, I think this is the first time this happened to us at the same time. π Regarding the party —- whew —- it took a while, but I’m about back to normal. Thanks for attending the bash and for visiting here.
LikeLike
Oh, the wedding DJ, how could I resist!
LikeLike
Lynn,
AH ha … more reflections to your days of playing at weddings. π Thanks for visiting.
LikeLike
Congrats on the golf. I got banned from a course in Florida – and I wasn’t even playing! I might do a post about that.
Some good Onions, but my fav has to be “Horrible Couple Wants Wedding to Reflect their Personalities”. I think I got an invite to that one π
LikeLike
Fasab,
Banned from a course without playing is quite the accomplishment. Congrats on your feat! … and Oh … your choice is fitting for one of your lists! Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
See I had faith in you, despite your extended holiday you would pull out your golf chops and dance in the end!! Congrats.
The Onion is a wonderful place to get the news when all else seems lost.
LikeLike
Val,
Very true as you were encouraging me to have faith in what my results can be! Many thanks for the positive vibes! Meanwhile, The Onion is a hoot — although so many of their headlines today are about the election – which is fine, but I’ve been generally avoiding them here. Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
Hey, don’t I get an award for telling you to move your right thumb 1/4 inch to the left?
LikeLike
Tim,
… and don’t forget encouragement for the new driver. But, oh Golf Doctor … I’m still fighting the occasional push right and the hard left. Thanks for visiting.
LikeLike
Aside from the Yankees, I find all these headlines somehow strangely related….maybe it’s just me. : )
Congrats on the golf thingy Frank, hope you’re having a great week!
LikeLike
Hey Hey Alex … good to see you!
This list does have a local flavor … thus that won’t happen again. Meanwhile, as comment number 14,999 – thus a runner up in the contest – here’s one for you. Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLike
I had no idea I was so close to being the winner, even still, I’ll take the Shiner over the fireworks….and yes, I do know it’s a bit early in the morning…
Congrats to adinparadise!
LikeLike
Well … I didn’t have a countdown going on, so it was a matter of me watching. Meanwhile, I knew you would appreciate your prize!
LikeLike
You’re thoughtful as ever Frank!
LikeLike
Cheers!
LikeLike
Congrats with the golf victories, Frank. Glad I wasn’t playing the organ for the Horrible Couple’s wedding. Who knows what music they would have requested? I don’t play horrible music. π
LikeLike
Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding!!!!! We have a winner.
Congratulations Paradise for providing the 15,000th comment! … and glad to hear I have another musician in the midst. π Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
Oh WOW!! Do I get a prize? π
LikeLike
The fireworks were in your honor! π
LikeLike
Thanks. π
LikeLike
CONGRATULATIONS YOU GOLFER YOU!!!!!!!!!!! AND TO YOUR WIFE π :
You must be enjoying the moment!!! I hope so…now go out and get yourself a cheese donut!
LikeLike
Suzanne,
Many thanks … and after a two-year absence from the league, a special surprise … and hey, I couldn’t have done it without my partner. … and my wife will see your congrats as well! Correction — make that a grilled cheese donut. π Thanks for stopping by!
LikeLike
Ooooooohhh…I knew I had left something out on that donut…..it just looked wrong to me as I typed it..LOL!
LikeLike
But you do want to try it!
LikeLike
Oh yes!!!!!!!!
LikeLike
Well … you have a lot to do when you visit Cincinnati. Start your list.
LikeLike
LOL…Frank π
LikeLike
Maybe the ads I am seeing here for “Don’t Tell the Bride’ (or something like that) are affecting my judgement but I do like the horrible couple’s wedding.
LikeLike
Cuttlefish,
I must say, there is something special about that horrible couple … and let’s hope for horrible music as well! Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
Congrautions to both of you that must be exciting to both be winners at the same time. :+) I guess I’m feeling indesive today. I keep going back and forth on onion picks. I see most commenters picked the couple so maybe Iwill go with the crowd today. It makes me wonder what their other wedding choices would have been and why are they so horrible?
LikeLike
Starla,
And thanks from both of us! Maybe some of your hesitation is what Alex was saying about the general similar nature of the choices. Oh well … thanks for the visit. π
LikeLike
I think it’s probably more about me today some days are just like that a little indesive that’s OK this too shall pass. :+)
LikeLike
… and that’s OK.
LikeLike
:+)
LikeLike
Golf, would love to play really .. and I have tried and had very good teachers, but Iβm too impatient and not concentered enough. Too much going on around me that I have to look at. Glad both you and your wife play β¦ and for the enjoyment. Good end of the week to you too. Time for Zumba tonight.
LikeLike
Viveka,
Golf involves concentration. Then again, concentration goes with a lot of actions! My wife and I played together in a couple’s league for many years, but we migrated to separate leagues in recent years … but there are at the same course on the same night. Enjoy zumba and thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
I think it’s the perfect sport for when getting a bit older – loads of walking, fresh air and don’t have to look for a partner to be able to play – perfect for me .. but not meant to be.
Thanks will dance ’til my shoes are crying tonight.
All the best
LikeLike
Rather than thinking of it as the perfect sport when getting older, I look at it as an activity that can be done throughout one’s life. π
LikeLike
Of course it’s – but for me was something that I would like to do when there is no dance partners left *laughter
LikeLike
π
LikeLike
Robot love…times are a changin!
LikeLike
TBM,
And if he would take “her” to a London pub! Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
As you know, I am so far removed from the culture you live in, that I usually am left cold and unknowing when reading your satirical favorites. Still, I try occasionally, and donβt comment if I donβt understand. Though I know nothing about sports in general, nor about gold in particular, I donβt have much to comment on this post, but I do know that it can be a pleasure to win at any game, and so let me offer my congratulations.
LikeLike
Shimon,
No need to apologize for anything here as you consistently demonstrate much wisdom and respect. Our golf leagues are meant to be a social with a sense of competitiveness. Meanwhile, we’ll continue to work on the satire. π Thanks for commenting.
LikeLike
Double golf victory…not bad at all…been a while since I played!!!
LikeLike
Lisa,
Golf leagues are meant to be fun, so both of us keep it in perspective – although it isn’t that way with all players. Thanks for the congrats and for visiting.
LikeLike
Not sure which headline I like best, but that article about the insufferable couple who wanted their wedding to reflect their personalities was absolutely hilarious.
Congrats on the win!
LikeLike
Dave,
Can you imagine the entire wedding event for that couple? Oh – thanks for the congrats. π … and for stopping by!
LikeLike