On Satire Bits: Vol. 35

How’s your week been so far? Two more stars (Kirstie and Gilles) have fallen from Dancing with the Stars as we speed toward the ending of another season.

On Monday we saw the new Bond film … that Bond, as in James Bond. Skyfall is a good thriller, so I recommend it. For your enjoyment, this post concludes with the international trailer and the video to the theme song by Adele.

Meanwhile, it’s on to the mid-week dose of satire from The Onion. After all, this is the first full version since Halloween! Enjoy … any favorites?

Area Man Unable to Impress Soul Mate within 90 Seconds at Speed Dating Event

Trivia Pursuit Reveals lack of Knowledge about Basic Social Skills

Herculean Effort, Astronomical Expense Lead to Photo of Whole Family at Disney World

Undercurrent of Inequality and Fear Roiling Just Beneath Surface of 50s-Theme Diner

Local Man finally takes “Buy Socks” Off To-Do List

Older Brother Playing with Younger Brother on Swing Set Decides to One Day Con Him out of $50K

Dad Suggests Arriving at Airport 14 Hours Early

Stating the Unimportance of the next 3 Hours Literally Impossible

Ex-Girlfriend must be getting Desperate to keep Answering His Phone Calls

Quiznos Sandwich Maker Worked Way Up from Mailroom

Guy on Intense Cell Phone Call Walking Up and Down Block for Past 45 Minutes

2,400 Millionaires Collected Jobless Benefits in 2009

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Skyfall: The International Trailer

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Skyfall by Adele with movie scenes

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53 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 35

  1. Hey, Frank. Today’s list was tough to choose from. I nearly went with Trivial Pursuit (I was really good until they updated it) but settled on Undercurrent of Inequality and Fear Roiling Just Beneath Surface of 50s-Theme Diner, since I spent so much of the last 6 months fearing we’d all be sent BACK to the 50s!

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  2. Kirstie got punted from DWTS? Fooey – those Visigoths wouldn’t know talent if it kicked them in the backside!
    I’m torn. My dad would SO be the 14 hours early to the airport. But based on my young adulthood, I think the “trivial Pursuit” one hits WAY closer to home. 😉
    By the by, looking at Wiki, the “official photo” of the cruiser Aurora looks pretty dang close to yours! (You’ll be humoured when the name popped into my head – right in the middle of “The Caine Mutiny”! Nothing like classic Navy flicks to jar he memory. 😀 )

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    • John E,
      Nothing like personal experiences to direct the choice of Onion favs. Meanwhile, amazing that the Aurora came to you during the movie. Where you also handling marbles? Hopefully I will look at my info today. Thanks for commenting.

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  3. Love Adele! I have to say this:Trivia Pursuit Reveals lack of Knowledge about Basic Social Skills is my fave. I knew someone who would slip in the word fart into every guess. That pretty much proves this theory to me.

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  4. I plan to see the new James Bond movie this week. Reports from you and others say it’s the best one in many years. I also look forward to hearing what you think about two other new movies coming out this week: “Lincoln” and “Anna Karenina” (which your St. Petersburg photos got me fired up to see). I also recommend “Argo” which I saw in Montreal.

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  5. Kirstie should have been voted out a long time ago – better dancers than her were booted out before her. Bit sad to see Gilles go – would have been nice if he could have danced to Michael Jackson’s music as he wished to.

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    • Colline,
      Yep … she did knock out others, which frequently happens (and unfortunately so). To me, at least it wasn’t Bristol this time (which was my greatest fear for this season). Thanks for commenting.

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  6. Good morning Frank, and what a great batch of headlines to choose from! I can relate to the local man removing ‘buy socks’ from his to-do list. Anything involving shopping tends to stay on my list forever. I’m not a shopping fan and after being in a store of any kind for more than a few mins I’m already looking for the nearest exit.

    I hope you’re having a great week, Frank!

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    • Alex,
      Well you will be glad to know that I’m the grocery store shopper in this house! … and I just returned from a great deal at Kohl’s. But that’s ok that shopping isn’t for everyone. Shiner Bock? Thanks for sharing.

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  7. Have to go with the 50s diner. Sounds like they got the theme just right.
    I’d have picked “area man on intense call”, but I don; like to vote for myself.

    Have a great week, Frank!

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  8. That poor man who doesn’t have a wife to buy his socks for him. I can just imagine him walking around with his toes poking through the holes. 😦
    Airports are bad enough without spending an extra 14 hours there. That dad must have been paranoid about missing the flight. 🙂

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    • Paradise,
      Whew … dealing with airports isn’t easy, but the dad must be paranoid! Good diagnosis!!!! Meanwhile, the poor guy is going without socks! But screening may be easier at the airport! Thanks for commenting.

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  9. I saw the Bond film yesterday and thought it was great. Daniel Craig is my favorite Bond though I’ve read that he wants out of his Bond contract (he’s supposed to do two more films) but I hope he finishes his contract.

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  10. Glad you liked Skyfall. I prefer the Daniel Craig version nowadays, a bit grittier if there is such a word.
    Re the Onions, very hard choice this time, so I’m gonna have to chicken out and choose more than one:
    “Trivia Pursuit Reveals lack of Knowledge about Basic Social Skills”, because it’s a good social commentary of where we are and are heading;
    “Herculean Effort, Astronomical Expense Lead to Photo of Whole Family at Disney World”, because I’ve seen demented parents struggling there (very funny if you’re not one of them);
    “Undercurrent of Inequality and Fear Roiling Just Beneath Surface of 50s-Theme Diner”, because it will be happening more and more;
    “Local Man finally takes “Buy Socks” Off To-Do List”, because they’re still on my to-to list 😦 ;
    and, “Dad Suggests Arriving at Airport 14 Hours Early”, because it reminds me of my Dad and finding a parking space in the same county as the place you are going to!
    You’re going to have to pick a winner for me.

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    • Fasab,
      Gritty is a good word to describe Daniel Craig’s version of bond. Given your hard choice with The Onion this week, that’s ok … after all, great justification with each of them. Many thanks for sharing!!!

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  11. 2,400 Millionaires Collected Jobless Benefits in 2009

    Older Brother Playing with Younger Brother on Swing Set Decides to One Day Con Him out of $50K

    I can’t pick so I pick two this week.

    Skyfall looks fabulous! I will wait to see it at home, can’t sit in theaters but can’t wait. Love Adele!

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    • Debra,
      It seems you are not alone with a dad of that nature. Glad you enjoyed Skyfall. I definitely agree that the opening credits were awesome. Because I imagine you want to see them again, here ya go …. and thanks for commenting.

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