Colder temperatures found their way into Cincinnati. Then again, it matches the holiday season. Tuesday night we celebrated by visiting a drive-through holiday lights at Pyramid Hill Sculpture Park. (Do you recall my visit there?) Very well done and we had wonderful company along.
On to the mid-week dose of satire from The Onion. Besides wanting to know your favorite, here’s a challenge – use the headlines below to create a new headline. Yep, let your creativity use 2 or 3 headlines to share with everyone. Hopefully Curmudgeon-At-Large will stop by to lead the way. (It was Mudge’s idea!)
Have a good rest of the week!
Scientists Combine 20 Tiny Dogs to make Reasonably-Sized Dog
Male Marsh Wren Chirping his Balls off to Attract Mate
New Evidence Suggests Dinosaurs Died in Cretaceous Period Hospice
Candlelight Vigilante Take Commemorating into Own Hands
Blender Let On to Keep Cat Company
Latest Study Finds Cancer Cells Cruelly Mocking Researchers
Kangaroo Decides He’ll Get There Faster by Running
Coworkers Hastily Leaves Break Room
Cactus Scientists Recommend Drinking 8 Cups of Water per Year
Mood in Car Turns Grim after Dad Misses Exit
A Frank Angle 
Saw a great one about house decorating from somewhere in Arizona. One woman got tired of her neighbor one-upping her, so this year, she put up one small line of green lights and one of red lights that spell out “Ditto” with an arrow pointing to the neighbor. Now THAT’S the Christmas spirit! 😀
So – how about “Scientists combine 20 Wren Chirping Their Balls Off to Keep Cat Company While Cruelly Mocking Researchers.” I was gonna try to combine more, but I had to go to the bathroom after missing the exit while drinking 8 cups of water. 😉
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John,
Gotta love the way you worked in numerous headlines … well done … and thanks for sharing the Arizona house decorating!
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New Evidence Suggests Tiny Dogs Take Cancer Cells into Break Room.
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Carrie,
Wow … this could be a major breakthrough in cancer research! 🙂 Thanks for sharing the wit.
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Scientists Combine 20 Tiny Dogs to make Reasonably-Sized Dog, coworker Hastily Leaves Break Room..Chirping his Balls off
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Bulldog,
A definite reason to leave the break room! Thanks for the morning laugh!
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Dad Misses Exit, Hastily Leaves Chirping his Balls off to Combine 20 Tiny Dogs to Attract Mate
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Lizzie,
Dang … what a novel mate-attraction technique! And to think about the amount of time some spend on online dating services! Thanks for sharing!
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share the wealth – that’s what I always say – and of course anything to make the dating scene easier… and stuff.. 😉
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Excellent.
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Mood in car turns grim when reasonably-sized dinosaur dies.
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Archon,
A good one straight from the den! 🙂 Thanks for sharing
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Long after the fact, I have heard that there is some controversy about Mighty Mouse. Seems that, in some of the early, set-up episodes, like Popeye and his spinach, Mighty wasn’t mighty till he sniffed some magical white powder. Any knowledge? Opinion? Desire to research? Joe Schuster never said Superman could fly, only leap tall buildings. The takeoffs and landings would have looked like Neo’s, from The Matrix.
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Archon,
In preparation for the Mighty Mouse post, I did stumble across the cocaine reference, which I mentioned in the post. https://afrankangle.wordpress.com/2012/08/04/on-super-mouse/
Never heard the one on Superman. Good stuff!
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Archon, I would also remind you of Underdog, that pill-popping doggie superhero, who, and I quote, “The secret compartment of my ring I fill/With an Underdog super energy pill”. Sounds like an upper to me! 😀
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A challenge, nothing like a challenge.
First, of the real Onions my fav is “Mood in Car Turns Grim after Dad Misses Exit” – I’ve known it to happen 😦
So how about
Scientists Mood Turns Grim after New Evidence Suggests Dinosaurs Attract Mate in Marsh Candlelight
or
Male Scientists Take Balls into Own Hands Cruelly Mocking Coworkers
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Fasab,
Awesome … Oh, I do wonder how many times balls will be in these. Thanks for the morning laughs!
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The last two scored highest on my Wed. morning laugh-o-meter (thanks):
Cactus Scientists Recommend Drinking 8 Cups of Water per Year
Mood in Car Turns Grim after Dad Misses Exit
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Tim,
Morning laugh meters are good judges, so thanks for sharing your favorites.
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Mood in Car Turns Grim When Dad Misses Exit to Washrooms: Eight Glasses of Water the Culprit Proving There Is No Rest for the Weary
Actually I write headlines all the time for my newspaper articles and I would change this to: Dad Drowned for Refusing to Exit
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LouAnn,
Ah ha … your experience is coming through! … and you could have gone on and on. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your seasoned wit with these.
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yes I could have–but I spared you (this time)–I like the part about seasoned wit–going to have to tell my husband–he thinks it is just me being smart
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Bringing him over to show it in cyber-print!
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good idea!
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Dad misses his tiny balls after mocking cat
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Doggy,
Whoa … that’s one fierce cat! Thanks for sharing. 😀
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i didn’t know birds had balls, but i guess they have to. see, the unfairness is “balls.” it’s one of those words, like farts, that trumps anything. you can put balls in anything and it’s instantly funny. “they removed a tumor bigger than my balls, but now i’m okay.” that’s not funny, but now it’s funny.
speaking of cancer, the one about the cancer cells mocking is great too. sad – but great.
i’m stuck.
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Rich,
Thanks for the great commentary!!!!
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thanks for something to commentary on. you started it.
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… so don’t forget HLN today!
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there now – wow!
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🙂
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Vigilante Kangaroo Turns Grim After Scientists Mockingly Recommends He Takes His Balls Into His Own Hands
Best I could come up with on only 2 cups of coffee… 😉
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Alex,
Awesome, and amazing how many times balls have worked their way into the submissions! Thanks for laughs!
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As Rich points out…balls trump.
By the way Frank, there’s frost in the palm trees down here in San Antonio this morning!
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Oh my … I didn’t realize the cold snap is that far south! More coffee to stay warm. 😉
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Can’t resist this challenge…. males takes candlelight into own hands to make mood in break room.
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Twixt,
LMAO … that is wonderful! Thanks for stepping up to the challenge!!!!
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New Evidence Suggests Dinosaurs Died in Chirping his Balls off to Attract Mate
Candlelight Vigilante Leaves Break Room after Dad Misses Exit [to] Cretaceous Period Hospice
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Mudge,
Not only thanks for these … but thanks for suggesting this fun exercise …. plus I get the enjoyment of reading all of them!
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Scientists Combine 20 Tiny Dogs to make Reasonably-Sized Dog–my dog is offended by this. My cat can’t stop laughing. It’s bitter cold in London as well. All of us are huddled in one room with the space heater. Stay warm Frank!
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TBM,
Oh no … animal chaos reigns in London household! … Stay warm indeed! Thanks for sharing!
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Yes, I do remember those amazing sculptures, Frank. Where are the pics of the lights? Shame…. that poor Marsh Wren, and the twenty tiny dogs. 😆
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Paradise,
We took some pics, but I never looked at them to see how they turned out. 😦 … after all, lights and nights can go either way for an amateur. I can tell you that they were very nice. Here’s a short video from 2007 that seems similar. Thanks for sharing your favorites.
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The cooler weather definitely helps us get in the holiday spirit. Now, however, we just need some snow!
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Kathy,
Snow only if I’m not driving in it … or it stays south of me and delivers your wish! Thanks for commenting.
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OK, here goes:
Scientists Combine 20 Tiny Dogs to make Reasonably-Sized Dog = Scientists Combine 20 Tea Partiers and come up with an issues voter.
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Elyse,
Be nice … even to tea partiers – after all, they aren’t in any of these headlines. Here’s one for you. Mood changes after dad chirping his balls to keep cat company. Thanks for stopping by.
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I’ll try. For at least a year and a half, I will try to be nice to tea party members. Just for you.
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I know they don’t make it easy on anyone, especially themselves, but trying is a noble cause – especially when they don’t say anything.
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Mood in Car Turns Grim after Dad Misses Exit–been here! 🙂 We are experiencing some light rain! That feels right for the holiday cheer…It’s different every day! 🙂
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Debra,
Ah ha … an eye witness account from the opposite seat! I imagine a light rain is good … then again, isn’t it the time of year for that? (I recall the dampness of some past Rose Bowls). Thanks for commenting.
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The blender one is genius Frank!
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GFB,
Brilliant … but I wonder if how irritated the cat would be from the noise. Meanwhile, I hope you read the versions the readers submitted in the comments. Thanks for stopping by.
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Will do Frank
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Mood in Car Turns Grim after Dad Misses Exit. New evidence suggests he’ll get there faster by running.
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John,
LOL … speaking from experience or anticipating the female response? Many thanks for the morning chuckle.
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Kangaroo decides he’ll get there faster by running, after dad chirps his balls off missing his exit.
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Dink!
You’re back in the saddle! … and thanks for the excellent contribution!
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