On Party Onion Dip

I know, I know … I said I was taking a break, and I really am – BUT, with the Super Bowl this coming weekend, I couldn’t resist dipping into The Onion’s archives for some related headlines – or as I like to think – here’s some Onion Dip for your Super Bowl party.

For my non-US readers, the Super Bowl is one of the most-watched television events as many people gather for parties – thus the prices for commercials are quite expensive. Actually, the commercials will get considerable discussion – thus the inclusion of a video.

The game itself will be the first ever Super Bowl involving each team (San Francisco and Baltimore) coached by two brothers. Will you be attending a Super Bowl party?

No need to combine any headlines, so do you have a favorite from the list below? Meanwhile, this time for sure, no more new posts from me during my break … but I’ll reply here … well, for a little …. and I really do mean it this time – I’m taking a break.

NFL coaches admit having to punt sucks

ESPN shows family film of young Harbaugh brothers coaching together in backyard

Two dogs from same litter to coach 2013 Puppy Bowl

Pre-game coin toss makes player realize randomness of life

John Madden eats RV

Referee frustrated over number of commercials shown in replay booth

Super Bowl matchup rekindles smoldering resentment of San Francisco-Baltimore war of 1877

NFL player works out often

Commissioner proposes eliminating ball from NFL

Referee disallows touchdown after dropping ball handed to him by player

Mothers of NFL players concerned about binge drinking on bottom of pile

Area man thinking up funny things to say at Super Bowl party

Voices in headset calling coach “Idiot”

Hungry defense feeds on crowd

Super Bowl Party Tip: Pre-soak Doritos in beer

On One Smart Bear

Sing along with his best known theme song. For those that don’t know the words, here ya go.

Yogi Bear is smarter than the average bear,
Yogi Bear is always in the ranger’s hair.
At a picnic table you will find him there
Stuffing down more goodies than the average bear.

He will sleep till noon but before it’s dark,
He’ll have every picnic basket that’s in Jellystone Park.

Yogi has it better than a millionaire
That’s because he’s smarter than the average bear.


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Many may not know that the above wasn’t original theme song … but this one is

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Yogi Bear is #36 on TV Guide’s Greatest Cartoon Characters of All-Time (Personally, he should be higher)

Created by William Hanna, Joseph Barbera, Ed Benedict

First voiced by Daws Butler

Yogi Bear featured in 10 shows, 13 films and specials, 10 video games, 88 comic books, and, comic strip (1961-19880 created by Gene Hazelton

He made his debut in 1958 as a supporting character in The Huckleberry Hound Show

Three years later (January 1961), The Yogi Bear Show debuts, which included segments Snagglepuss, Fibber Fox, Yakky Doodle and Chopper

Lives in Jellystone Park

Characters include Boo-Boo Bear (best friend), Ranger Smith (rival/friend), and Cindy Bear (girlfriend)

First appearance in his own show: watch Yogi Bear’s Big Break

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Yogi’s personality and mannerisms were based on Art Carney’s Ed Norton character on The Honeymooners

A musical animated feature film, Hey There, It’s Yogi Bear!, produced in 1964.

Yogi by the Ivy Three (1960), sung in a voice mimicking Yogi Bear, and reached reached #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 (must have been a slow music period)

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Speech
Often speaks in rhyme

Often uses puns in his speech

Has a habit of pronouncing large words with a long vocal flourish

Yogisms

  • pic-a-nic baskets
  • Pic-a-nic baskets may be delicious on the lips, but they’re a lifetime on the hips.
  • I’m smarter than the av-er-age bear!
  • Hello, Mr. Ranger, sir!
  • Hey there, Boo Boo!
  • I’m so smart that it hurts.
  • What do we do, Boo-Boo?
  • A genius never questions his instincts, Boo-Boo. When you have a mind like mine, you can’t blink or you’ll put a kink in your think!
  • I’m hungrier than the average bear. I wish I could find a bush that tasted like birthday cake!

Yogi Bear: [On the Ranger’s phone] Hello? Hello? Is this the White House?
Ranger Smith: Yogi!
Yogi Bear: Hey, the President knows my name.

Ranger Smith: [showing a “Do Not Feed The Bears” sign to Yogi] Read this sign.
Yogi Bear: [deliberately reading incorrectly] Uh, “No Smoking In The Forest”?

Here are two tributes to Yogi Bear

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Meanwhile, it’s time for me to take a break. See you in a few … and hopefully not too long. Be safe, be well, do good work, and hope to see you soon.

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 171

On Politics
There’s no doubt that President Obama’s inaugural address is more to the left. Although the GOP squawking about it is not surprising, I remind them that they spent four years focusing on the goal of “making sure he would be a one-term president” – so what the heck to they expect. Sorry GOP, reconciliation is in your court, not his.

Wow – House Republicans backing down from the debt ceiling fight is a huge surprise. Here’s an interesting read.

I’m still amazed to hear references as Fascism, Hitler, etc regarding the Obama administration. This time it was the CEO of Whole Foods.

Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) isn’t much better:

I think my role is to uphold support and defend our Constitution, … The Constitution I uphold and defend is the one I carry in my pocket all the time, the U.S. Constitution. I don’t know what Constitution that other members of Congress uphold, but it’s not this one. I think the only Constitution that Barack Obama upholds is the Soviet constitution, not this one. He has no concept of this one, though he claimed to be a constitutional lawyer.

Regardless of the topic and the administration, here’s one thing that we can count on during Congressional hearings: one side is generally soft while the others proudly declare, “I am an ass.”

All the hubbub about Beyonce’s singing at the inauguration is a sad commentary in itself.

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion

  • Nation descends into utter chaos following Dear Abby’s death
  • Lance Armstrong plan return to cycling as fan-hating villain
  • Russell Crowe praised for man who cannot sing in Les Mis’
  • List of politically achievable reforms down to just three minor changes to traffic code
  • Romney makes desperate last-ditch bid for presidency
  • Biden working through scratch-off tickets during Obama’s swearing in
  • Michelle Obama is not keen on President’s new bangs

Interesting Reads

On Potpourri
While Super Bowl XLVII is the first with two brothers as head coaching opponents – but here is the tie to me. Their father, a long-time NFL assistant coach, graduated from the same college as me – Bowling Green State University.

I have often said that biology teachers are in three categories regarding teaching evolution: Those teaching it well, those teaching it poorly, and those not teaching it at all. It seems this article supports my claim.

Cheers to my Cincinnati getting baseball’s 2015 All-Star Game. Too bad that Commission Bud Selig came to town for the announcement. I must say that I may like idiotic politicians more than him.

Check out the interactive Census Dotmap created by a MIT graduate student.

Yesterday’s post was about Word(s) – coincidentally, Harmonique and LouAnn at On the Homefront also posted about the topic – so give them a visit and tell them I sent you.

Good news – I will post a classic cartoon post on Saturday.

Bad news – I’m taking a short break after Saturday’s post.

To send you into the weekend, enjoy these images of the wonder of creation from deep space to the fitting music by Vangelis. Have a good weekend! In the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

On a Word

Word is a sensible string of letters

Word is a single, distinct unit in a language

Word is a combination of sounds acting as a representation

Word can phrase, formulate, verbalize, and couch

Word is a signal, a pass to entry, or a personal declaration

Word can be guidance, news, a signal, or authoritative

Word is news, a rumor, a tale, propaganda, a story, or a promise

Word can long or short, monosyllabic or polysyllabic

Word expresses, but sometimes there is no word

Word is used with others words to communicate or be a private conversation

Words can be few or in so many

Words can be a speech, text, meanings, mottos, proverbs, stories, poems, lyrics, an oath, discussion, or a decree

Word has synonyms as lexeme, chitchat, idiom, utterance, concept, expression, and locution

We can put in a good word, describe in a word or in so many words

The right words can deliver an important message

Actions can substitute for a word

On Satire Bits: Vol. 44

How’s your week so far?

I’ve had a productive week so far, even though Cincinnati is in the midst of a several day blast of cold. Then again, we’ve got it easy compared to the people in the north central states and parts of Canada.

It’s time to step up to the celebratory buffet for a healthy scoop of midweek satire from The Onion. Any favorites?

Let’s add a twist. Given the information in the headlines and only that information, create your own original satire headline. In order to not spoil your fun, mine is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Man on Death Row seeks to read entire Harry Potter Series

Pathetic man states, “I am a brand”

Man discovered inside Nicholas Cage costume

Nobody at Capital One remembers why Vikings are in its ads

Half-dressed man frantically scrambles out of home after hearing Toyotathon deals won’t last long

Man wakes up from bender with financial problems solved

Department of Interior releases new stick

Different server brings order

Hardee’s introduces shame curtains for customers to eat behind

Long wait for big toenail to fall off nearly over

My combination: Half-dressed server inside Nicholas Cage costume in Toyotathon ad