On Satire Bits: Vol. 42

Cincinnati is in the midst of a warming trend with the possibility of reaching 60 (15.5 C) by the weekend. Meanwhile, a small project came across my plate this week that will go well into next week, thus will interrupt my visits.

This is the first full work week of the year for many, how it going so far? I’m guessing you may need a dose of mid-week satire to re-energize some vim and vigor. On to The Onion!

Department of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series

All Geese Flying to Andy Garcia’s House for Winter

President Waiting for Perfect Time to Walk by White House Tour Group

Study: Everyone, Everything Linked to Paranoia

Raccoon Leaders Calls for Loosening of Garbage Can Lids

Sex with Girlfriend Traced to Shoulder Rub

Dad Reading Entire Newspaper Aloud for some Reason

Baby Knocked Out with Cough Syrup Praised for Being such a Good Little Traveler

High School for Performing Arts Student Dealing with Really Weird Social Pressures

Devon Turned out to be Male Version of Devon

Which is your favorite?

Given the headlines above, use the information from those headlines to make a new headline. Here’s mine:  Sex with girl at Andy Garcia’s house traced to him reading newspaper aloud

Have a good rest of the week!