On Satire Bits: Vol. 42

Cincinnati is in the midst of a warming trend with the possibility of reaching 60 (15.5 C) by the weekend. Meanwhile, a small project came across my plate this week that will go well into next week, thus will interrupt my visits.

This is the first full work week of the year for many, how it going so far? I’m guessing you may need a dose of mid-week satire to re-energize some vim and vigor. On to The Onion!

Department of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series

All Geese Flying to Andy Garcia’s House for Winter

President Waiting for Perfect Time to Walk by White House Tour Group

Study: Everyone, Everything Linked to Paranoia

Raccoon Leaders Calls for Loosening of Garbage Can Lids

Sex with Girlfriend Traced to Shoulder Rub

Dad Reading Entire Newspaper Aloud for some Reason

Baby Knocked Out with Cough Syrup Praised for Being such a Good Little Traveler

High School for Performing Arts Student Dealing with Really Weird Social Pressures

Devon Turned out to be Male Version of Devon

Which is your favorite?

Given the headlines above, use the information from those headlines to make a new headline. Here’s mine:  Sex with girl at Andy Garcia’s house traced to him reading newspaper aloud

Have a good rest of the week!


72 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 42

  1. I have been taking full advantage of this weather, but for a cranky calf muscle that I’ve been resting for almost two weeks now. But this weekend, I’m looking forward to the spring like temps as I get back out there.


  2. Fun entry as usual! How about the following?

    Department of Transportation praised for Being Such Good Little Travelers.


    President Linked to Paranoia for Dealing with Some Really Weird Social Pressures


  3. My first full week back at The Grind pretty much took off from where last week’s 3/5ths week left off — I’m very busy, I’m very bored, the pay still blows. I expect the next 50 weeks to follow this pattern.

    Raccoon Leaders Linked to Paranoia

    I hope your project goes well.


  4. How about this: High School for Performing Arts student dealing with baby of Raccoon Leader reading newspaper out loud about paranoia of geese flying


    • Guapo,
      Snow wasn’t as bad here as Mr. Erickson got. Given the shade on my back deck, I wonder how long it will take to melt! Meanwhile, more highway concerts! Thanks for commenting.


  5. Baby Knocked Out with Cough Syrup Praised for Being such a Good Little Traveler–yikes! But funny! Hope the project goes well. I know how it can be a challenge balancing work responsibilities with our blogging roles. Sometimes I get my priorities mixed up and end up keeping my attention on my work! 🙂


  6. President Waiting for Perfect Time to Walk by White House Tour Group – brilliant …. yes, maybe he needs a guide tour to find out all the rooms he live in. Great stuff – thanks, Frank.


      • I don’t think they get that close – had a friend that was best friend with the Executive Chef of the White House during the Reagan time – and he visit his friend in the White House and he came very close to the Reagan and he and his wife – he even walked their dogs. They was in the power corridors too – during working hours … but that will not happen after 9/11, I think.


        • I didn’t have it … my friend had. They spent 3 days with their friend and his family at the White House, when our secretary in Portland was asked for the phone number for the White House – by my friend, she asked if you may do the call, because it will be the only time she will have chance to phone the White House. *smile – he let her make the call.


  7. Department of Transportation President Devon, dealing with really weird social pressures and praised for being such a good little traveler, flying to Andy Garcia’s house for sex with Raccoon Leaders. For some reason linked to paranoia with cough syrup, high school for Performing Arts student waiting for perfect time to walk by.



  8. My Onion winner is ‘President Waiting for Perfect Time to Walk by White House Tour Group’ because I suspect one or two of them probably did.

    And here’s a couple of unauthorized versions (which I really enjoy doing)

    Department of Transportation Announces Little New Baby Traveler Flying to Andy Garcia’s House Knocked Out with Cough Syrup for Winter

    and, granted more appropriate for the Clinton era than Obama’s,

    President reading Entire Newspaper aloud Waiting for Perfect Time for Performing Sex with White House Tour Group


  9. Oh, I like this one:

    Department of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series — it’s like Love Among the Ruins only this time it’s Music Amongst the Debris.

    Good luck with your projects Frank. We’ll be here when you get back.


    • Doggy,
      Interesting because (as you recall) I found the Tic-Tac music man while looking for a response to your post … and then decided to use it myself. I’ll stop by. Glad to know the raccoon here sparked a reminder for you.


  10. Pingback: Bite Me Now, Bold yet Sassy « Doggy's Style

  11. Perhaps because I travel so much, my favorite:

    Baby Knocked Out with Cough Syrup Praised for Being such a Good Little Traveler

    We are warming a little in Dallas and it is all turning to rain. I despise rain. Just hate it. Trying to catch up, so behind on everything right now.

    By the way, picking just one was difficult.


    • Val,
      Don’t worry about catching up because most bloggers are always behind, so they understand.

      Because you travel so much, your choice is understandable … and hopefully I remember to have another travel one for tomorrow’s Opinions in the Shorts. (Well, I have one, but just have to remember) Thanks for sharing! … and yes, I know the rain you are having is coming my way soon!


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