On Satire Bits: Vol. 43

How’s your week? So far, my week has delivered the unexpected. Nothing major, but a host of abnormalities. Then again, I deal with them and move on.

I really enjoyed writing yesterday’s post about the speck. Thanks to Robin for adding a wonderful video that contains many interesting facts. Elyse’s Stardust video was a good musical treat.

This post happens to be a milestone – #1,100. Many of you remember the party for 1,000 this past September, which was a lot of fun for me.

It’s time to step up to the celebratory buffet for a healthy scoop of midweek satire from The Onion. Any favorites?

Let’s add a twist. Given the information in the headlines and only that information, create your own original satire headline. In order to not spoil your fun, mine is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Congressman torn between meaningless pledge to anti-tax zealot, well-being of nation

Environmental ad campaign encourages turning shower off after showering

Hardass cop finally finds time to play games

First totally naked Marine shares thoughts about fighting in Afghanistan

CEO’s girlfriend wearing his suit around the house

New study finds primitive customers capable of buying tools from hardware store

Toddler leader calls for increased duck visibility

Victoria Secret fashion show a hit among people not knowing pornography exists

Nation’s grandparents voice concern over reading-light levels

Boy Meets World Spin-off a dream come true for fans who grew up in and still live in the ‘90s

Here’s my combination: CEO’s first totally naked girlfriend torn between buying tools and pornography of anti-tax zealot

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72 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 43

  1. i think i’ve seen that victoria’s secret headline before or something extremely similar.

    “congressman torn between naked marine and nation’s grandparents.”

    Like

    • Rich,
      Oops – It is possible that I used the V-Secret headline on a Friday and didn’t scratch it from my list. Meanwhile, thanks for discovering the reason Congress has trouble making decisions.

      Like

  2. “Environmental ad campaign encourages turning shower off after showering” kind of reminds me of the incident in which a well-known manufacturer of large Motor Homes was successfully sued by a person who had crashed his vehicle after leaving the driver’s seat to get a cup of coffee. One of the results of the suit was the manufacturer being required to put a warning in the vehicle’s operating manual against leaving the driver’s seat (and taking one’s hands off the steering wheel) while the vehicle is in motion.

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  3. New study finds nation’s grandparents concerned over Victoria Secret totally naked fashion show. Hardware store fans and Marines call for increased visibility.

    Have a good rest of the week Frank!

    Like

  4. Oh, hilarious – but it’s FINALLY sunny outside, so this will have to be short….hmmm, Congressman ducking visibility before acting like toddler demanding investigation of connections between grandparents’ light reading of VS and their forgetfulness to turn off showers. Must get to the naked truth about thing totally meaningless to the nation’s well being.

    Like

    • Lame,
      Many thanks. I probably should have included some fireworks or something. After all, at least it would have prevented your headache. Oh well … next time … then again, #1,100 won’t happen again. 😉

      Like

  5. Here goes! Environmental fashion show calls for Victoria Secret spin-off of Congressman totally naked buying tools from hardware store! 🙂 I am having a good week so far, thank you, Frank, but I’m leaving for the dentist in a couple of minutes. My luck could change!

    Like

  6. Another fun post. My effort is political, probably not politically correct, but a definite possibility for the future:

    for increased visibility Nation’s Hardass zealot Congressman fighting anti-pornography campaign totally naked

    Like

  7. Ha! These are so great. Here’s my contribution:

    Nation’s grandparents torn between totally naked Marine and hardass cop – hit(s) among people not knowing pornography exists.

    Thanks for the laugh! Have a great weekend…hope there’s lots of wine involved. 🙂

    Like

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