On Satire Bits: Vol. 46

With my project out of the way and tax information in the hands of an accountant, now its on to a variety of tidbits of things to do.

Seems like it’s a long time since the last bit of mid-week satire. Even though I wasn’t posting tidbits from The Onion midweek or in Friday’s Opinions in the Shorts, I was still gathering headlines from my favorite satire source.

I have more than normal because most of these have something to do with relatively recent news. Enjoy. Which is/are you favorite(s)?

North Korea returns to normalcy with synchronize disco jump-rope gala

Disappointed couple on 8-month waiting list to get married at the Pentagon

Girls Gone Wild Bankruptcy forces thousands of wet, wild party girls into tough job market

Chicago man bushes mound of snow from beef sandwich before eating it

Poll: 99% of human beings prefer big, slippery hound dog pope

Transportation Secretary hoarding traffic cones and stop signs before the sequester

Iran promises to end nuclear program in exchange for detailed diagram of atomic bomb

Les Miserables wins Oscar for most sound

Obama and Congress must reach deal by March 15, and then by April 11, and then by April 20th, and then by May 1st

Bus transporting Carnival cruise passengers crashes into sewage treatment plant

Hung-over Energy Secretary wakes up next to solar panel

I-95 diagnosed with highway cancer

Ben Affleck nominated for best friend of Matt Damon

Dead iPod remembered as expensive

College freshman roommate has had excuses to go home every weekend since August

Millions of human beings experiencing emotions about JJ Abrams directing Star Wars

Rod Stewart passes for elderly aunt

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62 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 46

  1. I love all of them and that the list is back. But the one that I enjoyed the most is “Transportation Secretary hoarding traffic cones and stop signs before the sequester.” Thanks.

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  2. Ha! I like the Obama one most I think. Do you know http://newsthump.com/ It’s a UK spoof/satirical newspaper, a lot of the stories are of course about things in the UK so might be meaningless to those outside, but the first on there just now when I popped over was “Vatican’s papal conclave kicks off with heated debate about hottest new choirboy”.

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    • Vanessa,
      Woo hoo … Outstanding … another satire source. Love it. Just check it, so this is the one that got to me: Bacteria evolving resistance to antibiotics doesn’t affect us, insist creationists

      Meanwhile, the Obama/Congress/Debt Deal one is awesome because it seems so real!

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  3. Love the Korean one – can they ever be normal again … doubt it – I think they should do more disco dancing or any dancing for that matter … instead of do nuclear testing. Brilliant post again, Frank … I wouldn’t mind being Matt & Ben’s best friend neither. *smile – so funny this onion site.

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    • Viveka,
      The Onion is hoot … and Vanessa (see her comment) gave a link to something similar in the UK (which has good headlines and articles!). Meanwhile, you have sparked on idea for a future post about North Korea! Thanks.

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      • North Korea .. is on HOT spot too … a bit too hot, for comfort for any of us. The thing is that they are dead serious in what they are doing and saying .. I would like to play with them at all.

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  4. It’s gotta be this one for me:

    “Chicago man brushes mound of snow from beef sandwich before eating it”

    I lived in Chicago, and the Italian Beef (which is what they call it) is one of my favorites even to this day when I don’t eat meat. I recall many a 2:00 am Italian Beef sandwich that was cooled down by snow (or the -40 degree temperature!). The good old student days of overindulgence. Thanks for the good memories, Frank. 🙂

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  5. Yanno, as a fan of music when it used to be, well, music? I was ashamed of myself for thinking Rod Stewart looked like my friend’s aunt. Until now. You have exorcised those demons, sir. And just in time for opening day! Bonus round that one.

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    • Archon,
      Ha ha … using the another post to inspire a selection is good. When I first saw that headline, I laughed … and then to see another Carnival ship in the news this morning fits with your selection.

      Like

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