On Satire Bits: Vol. 47

It’s mid-week, so how’s your week going? Do you anticipate the rest of the week being better, worse, or the same?

Courtesy of The Onion, here’s a bit of mid-week satire to boost your week. Which is your favorite?

For those who enjoy a creative challenge, take the information in the headlines (and only in the headlines) to make a new headline.

Scientist debut smug robot that can run a half marathon and brag about it

38-year old little boy posts picture of fast car he likes on Facebook

Dad holds Best Buy salesperson’s feet to fire with questions about HDTV compatibility

Neighborhood flocks to coffee shop bulletin board to read about fun, upcoming events

US Treasury cowboy claims “something done spooked the economy”

Pet dog almost like disgusting family member

Annual teeth cleaning reveals three previously unnoticed rows of teeth

Psychiatrists warn nation’s used car salesmen going insane, practically giving cars away

Army commander depressed after reading Facebook comment on latest raid

Mother who forgot to pay 29-year-old son’s phone bill reminded to really be careful about that

Career spider unsure if she’s ready to for 3,000 children

New Balance releases “Laces Only” minimalist running shoe

.

My combo: New Balance salesman holds family’s feet to fire

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53 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 47

  1. gMy week has sucked so far, but I expect it will scale hithertofore unimagined heights at the end.
    Of suckiness.
    Loved the 38 year old little boy on facebook!

    My mashup:
    Scientist debut smug 38-year old little boy with questions about HDTV compatibility

    Like

  2. I’m on the cusp of some major changes. My Manhattan Project is in the completion phase and at The Grind, my longtime assistant’s last day is Friday. I hate to see him go but I wish him well.

    Like

  3. Satire bits are so much fun,todays was one of the best list.loved them all

    38-year old little boy posts picture of fast car he likes on Facebook- depressed over not getting a single like unfriends and blocks 5 people 😉

    Like

    • Marina,
      The Lost in Space robot was quite smug! … His name was Robot B9, but most commonly called Robot. However, I wonder why they didn’t call it GUNTHER – General Utility Non Theorizing Environmental Robot. I must go back to the original TV show for this one.

      Like

  4. Good morning Frank, and I LOVE the Onion headlines! I have 2 for you this morning. 🙂

    Previously unnoticed family member reminded to really be careful about spooked children.

    Smug 38-year old army commander claims 3,000 psychiatrists depressed after reading nation’s disgusting comments on Facebook.

    Have a great rest of the week, Frank!

    Like

  5. Of the real onions 38 year old little boy gets the prize.

    My efforts (and I think both of them might be true):

    US Treasury claims Pet dog running nation’s economy

    Psychiatrists warn disgusting Facebook comment reveals depressed Career Army commander going insane

    Like

  6. I think my week will be just about the same. I just can’t wait to get out of work that’s all LOL. How’s your week? And this one “Annual teeth cleaning reveals three previously unnoticed rows of teeth” would horrify me lol

    Like

  7. As always you satirical headlines are great. My favourite this time is New Balance. Almost as the Emperor’s New Clothes – if you know the H.C. Andersen’s story…

    Like

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