On Satire Bits: Vol. 53

It’s mid-week and I just came off a lousy round on the golf course. On the plus side, the weather and the company were wonderful.

How’s your first part of your week going? Hopefully, this boost of satire will send you toward the weekend with positive vibes. Any favorites?

For those wanting the extra challenge, use the information in these headlines (and only these headlines) to form your new combination headline. Have a good rest of the week.

Company lacks manpower to complete latest round of layoffs

Area man panics after “liking” 381 of his ex-girlfriend’s Facebook photos

Website humiliates itself

Talk of crackers makes local thirsty

Report: Chinese third-graders falling behind US high school students in science and math

Inspirational teacher cancelled out by every other teacher at school

Retired pope vows to continue drawing “Papalpuss” comic strip

Community mourns death of beloved drunk driver

Danica Patrick flood with fan mail from nation’s inspired girl

Nostalgic warden has seen 3 generations of family come through the prison

Obnoxious friend won’t stop attaining major life milestones

Child who just lost balloon begins lifelong battle with depression

My Combo: Retired Pope vows to talk crackers with Danica Patrick