On Satire Bits: Vol. 57

Greetings everyone! Hope all is going well for each of you.

My week hiatus is progressing, although I haven’t visited others as much as I hoped. Then again, my break isn’t over yet!

Since our last communication, we’ve made it to the dance floor, attended a euchre party, hosted friends, moved 10 cubic yards of mulch (that’s 7.6 cubic meters elsewhere in the world), played lousy golf, and a few other odds and ends.

Although this isn’t a normal week, I could use a dose of satire for my mid-week boost. For your entertainment, I went to The Onion’s archives in search of headlines about North Korea. Any favorites?

Enjoy – and have a good rest of the week.

β€œWhat we are doing is weird and wrong” says small voice in Kim Jung Un’s head

Kim Jong-Un announces plans to bring moon to North Korea

North Korea nukes self in desperate plea for attention

Kim Jong-Un interprets sunrise as act of war

North Korea returns to normalcy after synchronized jump-rope gala

Kim Jong-Un unfolds into giant robot

North Korea celebrates as Kim Jong-Un first man to walk on moon

Teen Newsweek reports North Korea is The Bomb

President sends Secretary of State to North Korea to do that condescending nod thing

North Korea tests short-range missiles on family and friends first

Visual Bonus: See storyboards of new Batman movie starring Kim Jong-Un

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82 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 57

  1. Euchre?!!!! You must live in either Michigan, Ohio or western PA. Rock on! Used to sell Euchre decks consistently in my northern Michigan game store location, and online to ONLY people in the three places I mentioned. Seriously. It’s a great game and no one plays it anymore.
    Did you know it used to be the top card game in gambling halls during the gold rush? Live about 45 minutes from Virginia City (think Bonanza, and Mark Twain) and the old saloons have some antique decks on display.

    Loved the Onion headlines. Fave is ‘North Korea tests short-range missiles on family and friends first’ hahahahaha.
    As for my headline? Hmmmm how about
    ‘North Korea Hacks Newest Edition of PhotoShop: Unable to Threaten War Due to Unauthorized Install”

    Meh. Could do better. I need some coffee.
    Thanks for the grin and have a great evening!

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    • Rachel,
      You got it … I’m in Ohio … and I know euchre is a regional game, but didn’t know its tie to the Wild West. Nonetheless, it’s a fun, fast game. Glad you enjoyed my trip to The Onion’s vault … and thanks for sharing one!

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  2. i do so enjoy the ‘lightness’ of our conversations….like poking our heads over the back garden fence to have a wee chat. Lovely….
    PS. i’m w/Rachael….nuking the family and friends….which would cut down on the annual Christmas card list. Indeed!

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  3. Oh Frank, did you read the Onion is closing shop after 25 years. Whatever will we do without them, I am despondent.

    Kim Jong Un tests new dance, Moon Walk; Jackson family demands immediate stop for insult to dead ancestors.

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  4. I have no idea what euchre is. I feel so sorry for those poor buggars in North Korea, most of whom are starving to death and all because their country is ruled by a complete madman xx

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  5. Too much N Korea for me, but this one seemed fairly clever: President sends Secretary of State to North Korea to do that condescending nod thing

    I’ve never played any euchre either. Some day I’ll look up what that is, but I hope you had fun with it!

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  6. I’ve never heard of a euchre party in my life until this post Frank. I feared it might be something religious, but I looked it up and I’m very relieved that it’s just cards. I rather liked: Kim Jong-Un announces plans to bring moon to North Korea. If my book is included in your 10 cubic yards of mulch, I hope it will serve double duty and make fine compost.

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  7. I know North Korea should be on my mind, but Holy Cow! – Please weigh in ASAP on what this Onion Going Out Of Business stuff is all about so I can continue my day (life)!!!

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  8. Hi Frank! I have to say the: “K.J-U interprets sunrise as act of war” …even though i can think of other countries making such interpretations too!!!!
    Happy Wednesday and rest of the week, Frank!
    πŸ™‚

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  9. North Korea …. ticking bomb …. or just a play for the galleries????
    Enjoy your break – but you have been missing some great … posts my world. *laughter … seen you around.

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  10. I think my favorite was the first man to walk on the moon bit. Although I think it only could have been bolstered if it went on to say that he then launched a nuke to rid them of the terror that is the selenites from Melies’ “A Trip to the Moon.”

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  11. What a rollercoaster! Get back in charge Frank, the whole thing’s getting out of control – Onions – No Onions – Yes Onions again – and all we get is a condescending nod from the secretary of state. It can’t go on like this!!!

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    • Debra,
      There is something quite fitting about that headline. Meanwhile, lousy golf is starting to wear on me, which is odd because I generally don’t let the game get to me.

      Like

  12. Is the nodding Secretary still Frau Clinton? I can see her throwing the fear into Little Kim as few others could.
    Euchre used to be popular in southern Ontario. We played it with my parents when we visited, and I played it at work. Then it was largely replaced locally by a German game called Solo. Similar, but more complex. Played with high cards down to sevens. πŸ™‚

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    • Archon,
      Frau Clinton stepped down, thus has been replaced by John Kerry. Glad to discover that someone here knows euchre, which makes sense due to our closeness. Thanks for the scoop on Solo, but my first time ever hearing about it.

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  13. Sorry I’m late here, my head’s been suing for divorce – or maybe I should go with, I’m considering amputation as a cure for my headaches? At least there’s only ONE screen in front of me tonight, not 3 or 4 (or 8 or….) πŸ˜€
    How about “North Korea Nukes Moon During Kim Jong Un moonwalk, making Kim “Da Bomb”.” (I’m sorry, did I say that out loud? πŸ˜‰ )

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  14. Okay, I’m going to blame my choice of North Korea (Onion) titles on the fact that it is 12:29 a.m.: “North Korea tests short-range missiles on family and friends first.” Yeah, I better go to bed. Enjoy your time off.

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  15. “North Korea nukes self in desperate plea for attention” was life imitating the artless. Which is always kitschy. The Teen Newsweek line got me wondering what a news magazine might read like with Scott Baio as Editor in Chief (You better believe I’m dating myself on that one). As for Kim Jung-Un bringing the moon to North Korea? What do they do for an encore after Rodman lifts his pants up?

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