On Satire Bits: Vol. 60

How’s your week going so far? I’ve been keeping busy, and had a blah-blah round of golf. At least our team is still near the top, but there is only a week or two left in the first half.

Here is some headlines from The Onion to energize your push toward the weekend. Any favorites? For those wanting the extra challenge, use the information in the headlines (and only these headlines) to create an original. My combo is at the end.

Have a good rest of the week.

There are people in the world concerned about the current state of hip-hop

Nation wonders how ad guys from Vitaminwater do it

Superstitious baseball players always steps into batter’s box before swinging at pitches

Woman places poison in orange juice at Starbucks

Area man likes to think of himself

Dad busy throwing seed or something on lawn

Woody Allen extremely busy updating WoodyAllen.com

17-year cicadas horrified to learn about 9-11

Picking thing up from apartment floor rescheduled for tomorrow

Man derives depressing amount of pride from hometown burger chain

Every glass in cupboard visibly filthy

Possum gazes Longley at family walking dog

My combo: Superstitious possum gazes at hip-hop, so reschedules swinging at Woody Allen for tomorrow