On Satire Bits: Vol. 62

Interesting how the western US stuck in a very hot heat wave while the eastern US deals with rain and thunderstorms. Meanwhile, most Americans are looking forward to Thursday’s holiday. Do you have any plans?

On to the mid-week dose of satire. Any favorites? For the adventurous, try making your own satirical headline by using the information from the headlines below. My combo is below the headlines.

Have a good rest of the week, and I will be posting tomorrow.

Grad student destroys takeout menu

Female friends spend raucous night validating each other

Man invisible on Gchat observes world from impregnable perch

Dollar Tree CEO unveils long-rumored foil baking pan

Street musician’s mother really on his case about practicing his buckets

Man feels sense of triumph after completing free frozen yogurt punchcard

Lifeguard hopes to make up for last summer

Nation gathers around man trying to parallel park

Couple sits peacefully on porch for 20 minutes before realizing boredom

Scientists discover 90% of Earth’s atmosphere made of thoughts and prayers

Man on cusp of having fun suddenly remembers every one of his responsibilities

Study: 83% of gamblers quit right before they would have one the big one

My Combo:  Street musician spends raucous night trying to parallel park in order to observe free frozen yogurt menu


64 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 62

  1. This was a fun post, Frank. I was stumped until I thought about my weakness for fro-yo, so I came up with “Scientists discover 90 % of frozen yogurt made up of thoughts and prayers”


  2. I would be amused by your comments on the weather if I hadn’t just experienced five, count em, five days of rain on the coast of Maine on my vacation…

    But this is my favorite: Couple sits peacefully on porch for 20 minutes before realizing boredom (John and I are sitting side by side with our laptops in lap …)


  3. It’s been raining A LOT over here in Jersey. How are you and the missus making out over there? The other day we had a tornado come through, but we are so used to them, we didn’t really flinch…it’s the flooding we have to watch out for. Hope you have a wonderful 4th of July!


    • Java,
      Odd weather here as storms are hit and miss … and actually more miss for us. For instance, (two nights ago) the Reds baseball game was stopped after a very hard rain … but we, on a straight line no more than 20 miles from the stadium, only received 0.1 inches of rain. Nonetheless, we are not getting what the east coast is getting. Stay safe!


  4. Grad student unveils free frozen yogurt while couple sits peacefully on the porch but quit right before they would have won the big one.
    Two in a row…I’m on a roll.


  5. Each one of these is just great.

    Mother feels sense of triumph and destroys frozen yogurt buckets.

    I’m on a bit of a diet…in the western heatwave, ice cream and frozen desserts are awfully tempting. And in large quantities. 🙂


    • Debra,
      The combination of triumph and destruction makes me wonder if her team just won a championship.

      Ah heck, get a pint of Graeter’s, have a couple of bites and then let your granddaughters dispose the remaining.


  6. Here’s my headline, Frank:
    Female friends having fun suddenly discover 90% of gamblers feels sense of triumph 20 minutes before realizing boredom…
    But it’s the taking part and not the winning that really matters, right? Hope you’re having a good Wednesday!


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