On Satire Bits: Vol. 64

Happy Yellow Pig Day!

Yep, this is the day (Wednesday) to celebrate everything and anything 17. Now some of you may be wondering why I didn’t do a post on 17, after all, I like posts about numbers … and the answer is simple, I have already done one (here)!

Hot and muggy has dug in again into much of the eastern part of the US …. and I hate this kind of weather. However, I (with help from a friend) was able to get much of the deck stained this morning … but golf was grueling today.

Oh well, on to the mid-week dose of satire from The Onion to rejuvenate the week. Any favorites? For those enjoying a challenge, use the info in these headlines to create your original headline. Mine is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Man calls trust fund savings

Scientists discover mollusks are next evolutionary stage for humans

McDonald’s considering franchise restaurants after 70 years of being family owned and operated

Everything $10,000 chain goes out of business

National Pork Council: Many Americans suffer from pork deficiency

NASA is baffle by failure of its straw shuttle

Dead werewolf apparently allergic to peanuts

Financial sector thinks its ready to ruin world again

Pretty obvious which parts of wedding website written by groom

Guy who thinks he outran gorilla decides to casually lean elbow against big furry rock

My Combo: Gorilla baffled as werewolf with pork deficiency and mollusk allergic to peanuts ready to ruin McDonald’s