On Alien Squirrels

With no through streets and a good number of trees, our neighborhood is peaceful. We do not live in the woods as Zannyro does, but we have a AlienSquirrelBySuzanneCompwooded lot. I wouldn’t call our setting a menagerie, but numerous squirrels and birds are active – let alone the nocturnal creatures that roam in our midst without our knowledge.

It was a dark Friday night in the fall as we were returning home from a high school football game. While driving on a less-travelled road, I saw a spinning rhombus-shaped object fly across the road in range of the car’s headlights. Not to appear silly, I did not say anything to my wife.

Five seconds later, the object again crossed our path in the opposite direction. This Time I said something to her, and she verified both events.

We safely arrived home, but still wondered what we saw. Later that week, our midweek weekly community paper reported other people seeing a similar object … but the story doesn’t stop there.

The following spring and summer were odd, as we did not see many squirrels – possibly none. Given the oak trees and the sunflower seeds we supply to our bird feeder, their absence was a conundrum.

In a seemingly unrelated event, after awaking from a night of sleep, my wife discovered a pair of tiny marks on her skin. Being a prolific reader and one who enjoys her share of science fiction, I predictably responded with a nod and an eye roll. Interestingly, the marks appeared several other times, and of course, she proclaimed alien probes.

On a sunny day later that summer, my wife summoned me to the yard to see her discovery … lo and behold my eyes fixated on a severed squirrel head. Not a head left from a mulling by a predator, but one with a very clean cut … and during the squirreless summer to boot!

Squirrels began to reappear. However, during the following summer, after seeing a squirrel carrying a dead or injured squirrel, my wife surmised the squirrel was returning the fellow warrior to the mother ship.

That was 15-20 years ago, and squirrel activity has been normal ever since. My wife has not discovered any more probe markings; we never saw another flying rhombus, another severed head, or any evidence of the mother ship – yet the events of that year remain a mystery.

Perhaps, the strangers migrated to Zannyro’s in northeast Indiana, which isn’t that far away from southwest Ohio. After all, do these feet look normal?

alien squirrel feet (1 of 1)

Special thanks to Zannyro (Suzanne Rogers) for the pics!


54 thoughts on “On Alien Squirrels

  1. Pretty scary Frank. Not as scary as the amount of $$$ we spend trying not to feed the squirrels, but still!

    Glad your wife wasn’t abducted. Or at least not permanently!


  2. Hehehehe. My favorite new story. Love it!!!!!
    Like Douglas Adams in the Hitchhikers guide… where the Dolphins said, “So long, thanks for all the fish.” – Did the squirrels say, “So long, and thanks for all the nuts!” ??? 🙂


  3. Your video introduction suggested something unusual. But I never suspected that the alien squirrels had begun their their activity in your part of the world. I need to go out and check the squirrel population tomorrow to see whether they have migrated yet this far north!


  4. We have a feeder that spins if a squirrel gets on it. The first few days were fraught with amusing scenes of squirrels being slung to the ground in a dizzy stupor. Now, they won’t go near it. They are no fun.


  5. SCARY FRANK!! You’ve remained SO calm the whole time I’ve known you…I would have been traumatized for life…not to mention if I had been your wife and found probe marks!!! A squirrel carrying another squirrel?????!!!!! TERRIFYING!!!!!!! I have to stay up all night tonight or I will have nightmares for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  6. There is nothing in the twilight zone which I haven’t seen or tasted( yes Sir I am weird and creepy and….) but this was something else.
    what an Intro and oh those feet, you are right there is an alien angle in all this, May be Squirrels fought and saved the human race too!


    • Soma,
      Confirmation from your wisdom is important. Thanks for looking at the evidence.

      We used to have a very gullible neighbor. She was wondering about all the bits of wood sudden in our yards. I told her of the rare occurrence when squirrels have turf wars .. thus start tearing up trees. She was convinced enough to tell her husband, who rolled his eyes. After all, lightning had struck a tree.


  7. We feed the squirrels in our yard, having given up long ago of eradicating them. I can see now that we made the right decision to befriend them. I always had the idea they could turn on us! However, picturing the marks left on your wife’s face has me very freaked out. I may begin sleeping with the lights on!


  8. Freaky summer for sure! Freaky as that video is funny.
    OMG someone went through a lot of trouble to build that squirrel gym. Yep…that varmint deserves pecans or walnuts at the end of that obstacle course!


    • Cathy,
      Beware, thinking like Hansi can be dangerous. 😉 … As crazy as it seems, the events, such as the flying object, the severed head, a squirrel carrying another squirrel, and the conversations between me wife, are true! Besides, I can’t write fiction.


  9. Very strange! (I have never seen a squirrel carry another squirrel!)
    Contrary to rats, I happen to like squirrels. I have a lot of trees in my backyard and I like to watch them chase each other. (they kinda drive my dogs into a frenzy)


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