On Satire Bits: Vol. 72

Woo hoo! I love that commercial! So, how’s your week going?

After the very wet weekend, nature has provided Cincinnati with several wonderful fall days. Because many of you commented about my cold, I’m battling the sniffles but my throat feels fine. Thanks for asking!

As the government shutdown and subsequent debate continues to wear on we Americans, I’m sure the rest of the world is tired hearing about it. Therefore, all of us need a good boost of mid-week satire.

Don’t forget about the extra challenge of creating your own combo from the info in The Onion headlines. Mine is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Man with hammer-induced thumb injury appeals to God

Mountain Dew Council of Elders exiles non-radical teen

Chess prodigy gives up game after getting laid

German-style Krackhaus offers hearty cocaine

Area loner dwells on past

Walnuts improve area chicken salad

Report: Drug use down among uncool kids

Bronx Zoo opens new Loitering Teens exhibit

Area beatnik digs that crazy bebop

Professor to publish book

My combo: Area loner gives up Mountain Dew after getting laid bebop style at Bronx Zoo exhibit by beatnik professor