On Satire Bits: Vol. 74

How’s your week so far? Because it’s massage week (and before your dose of mid-week satire), here’s a mid-week rubdown for those who desire.

How was that for a precursor to Monday’s International Chocolate Day?

Our temperature has been falling and we could even see a few flakes in the morning! YIKES!!!! … and the rest of the week will be colder than normal. Brrrrrr … it’s too early for this!!!!

Thanks for all the best wishes for my mother-in-law. She’s out of the hospital, and is now in a rehab unit to gain physical strength and confidence – which has to be difficult for someone at 85.

Because it fall/autumn for the northern hemisphere, and as a follow-up to yesterday’s walk, I dived into The Onion’s vault of archives in search of satirical headlines for the season. Hope you enjoy!

Because raking leaves is a common endeavor for fall, here are graphics from The Onion’s archives: What is under a leaf pile; Popular autumn activities; and Most popular autumn foods.

Pumpkin makes a roll for it

New rake model arrives at stores

Scientists warn autumn will kill us all

Mr. Autumn Man walking down street with cup of coffee, wearing sweater over plaid-collared shirt

Indoor grill owner can’t wait for start of autumn

Area plant displays leaves

Morbidly obese pumpkin wins contest

Leaf hunting season begins

Pumpkin seeds saved, dried, roasted, salted, offered, refused, tossed

Lucy says of pumpkin, “It’s a fall idol, Charlie Brown”

Last Ruben Studdard reference wafts into the cool evening air of fall

Fall cancelled after 3 billion seasons

Any favorites? Have a good rest of the week!