On Satire Bits: Vol. 75

The first half of the week deliver comfortable weather for Cincinnati. Then again, some rain is approaching, and Halloween forecast is for miserable. That also means I got another pass of the leaves done because rain and wind means more leaves will fall. Meanwhile, I hope your week is going well.

To send you into the Halloween headlines, (and many of you have probably seen this), but one has got to love this costume.

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Given Halloween, I dived into The Onion’s archives to see what I could find. For those who want to make their own spooky headline, make one from the words in these headlines. My combo is below, right before the  holiday musical treat.

Haunted corn maze owner has another conversation with Zombie Number 2 about not touching

Solitary crow on fence post portending doom

Sexy nurse having trouble finding Halloween costume

In-the-know warn Halloween becoming overcommercialized

Haunted tape dispenser unsure how to demonstrate hauntedness

Costume of Rutherford B Hayes is top seller

Amount of Halloween candy down 15%

Trick-or-Treaters to be subject to random bag searches

Zombie nutritionist recommends all-brain diet

Mars might be haunted

My combo: Zombie nutritionist recommends haunted cow, solitary nurse, sexy crow, and Rutherford B. Hayes

… and for those you needing this holiday song from the past, bring on the Monster Mash. Have a good rest of the week.