On Satire Bits: Vol. 75

The first half of the week deliver comfortable weather for Cincinnati. Then again, some rain is approaching, and Halloween forecast is for miserable. That also means I got another pass of the leaves done because rain and wind means more leaves will fall. Meanwhile, I hope your week is going well.

To send you into the Halloween headlines, (and many of you have probably seen this), but one has got to love this costume.


Given Halloween, I dived into The Onion’s archives to see what I could find. For those who want to make their own spooky headline, make one from the words in these headlines. My combo is below, right before the  holiday musical treat.

Haunted corn maze owner has another conversation with Zombie Number 2 about not touching

Solitary crow on fence post portending doom

Sexy nurse having trouble finding Halloween costume

In-the-know warn Halloween becoming overcommercialized

Haunted tape dispenser unsure how to demonstrate hauntedness

Costume of Rutherford B Hayes is top seller

Amount of Halloween candy down 15%

Trick-or-Treaters to be subject to random bag searches

Zombie nutritionist recommends all-brain diet

Mars might be haunted

My combo: Zombie nutritionist recommends haunted cow, solitary nurse, sexy crow, and Rutherford B. Hayes

… and for those you needing this holiday song from the past, bring on the Monster Mash. Have a good rest of the week.

56 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 75

      • Yes, ESPN 2. They play Memphis. ;). Tomorrow I am taking Peyton out for a belated bday dinner – we are going to a place with the NFL network so we can watch – at least – some of the Bengals game. Hopefully it will be on a tv – living in Bears country sort of sucks sometimes;). Who Dey!!


        • I know. I remember when cable did not exist. I do not have the nfl network. But I do know that sometimes the games are online – but that was a black out game, in a Sunday when the Bengals were sort of bungling a few years ago. In other words, I doubt it is online. But it is okay – that is what the sports bar is for! Actually Red Robin – so technically not a bar but kind of.


        • It is a bday tradition. He gets a free one – they have a bday club. This year, however, it will just be the two of us – since big guy is away at school. A first for us.


  1. although the “sexy nurse” wins in my brain, rutherford b. hayes got the biggest physical reaction. therefore, if sexy nurse has initials IP, she can’t lose, not even dressed as the scarecrow on the fence.


  2. Gotta love a zombie nutritionist–period! I can’t top your combo, I’m afraid. Also, I had seen the costume on CNN–pretty cool, isn’t it! Hope the rest of your week rocks, as well, Frank!

    Hugs from Ecuador,


    • Kathy,
      CNN is where I first saw this clip .. thus had to use it. Meanwhile, interesting how your comment appeared just as I was about to start with your current post. … Good Morning, Ecuador!


  3. I’m too busy laughing at some of those to come up with my own. My favorite: Solitary crow on fence post portending doom. It might have been a matter of timing as there IS a solitary crow sitting on the fence post outside the window right now. I wonder if he’s portending doom? lol!!


  4. Here are a few for you Frank – hope you have a great Halloween! 😀

    Rutherford B Hayes having trouble finding Sexy Zombie costume.

    In-the-know Trick-or-Treaters warn about touching all-brain candy.

    Costume of haunted Number 2 is top seller.

    Zombie crow on fence post has another conversation with corn maze owner, unsure how to demonstrate doom.


  5. Sexy zombi costume to be trouble portending doom to sexy nurse. (yes, another sexy nurse!)
    Hope the storms don’t spoil it for the children! I am always just glad when Halloween is over, but I like to think the kids have a good time! 🙂


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