On Satire Bits: Vol. 76

Mid-week has arrived, so how’s it going? I’ve already tackled the leaves this week and figure to go another round this weekend.

Handbell rehearsal was interesting because our music binders were considerably thinner, but the upcoming holiday season always involves much preparation.

Good news is that a video of our handbell choir’s premier of the commissioned song is now available, so I hope to work it into a post next week. Plus, my mother-in-law strength keeps improving, so we’re hoping she returns home by week’s end.

It’s satire time from The Onion, and the combination challenge returns – so sharpen your wits to use the information below to develop your headline. Mine is at the end of the post. Otherwise, what’s your favorite?

Politician excited, proud to attend local event

Man takes free thing he doesn’t want

Total hunk sitting over by plant

Fog machine heightens dance at children’s recital

Local man would like fries with that

Picture at party comes out great

Stupid thing didn’t work

Woman at supermarket imagines entire narrative where bagger is happy with life

Area man perfectly content with role of another cog in the wheel

Naturalist retreat ends in a boner

My combo: Stupid politician excited, but boner didn’t work

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69 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 76

  1. Well, you know I gotta go with “Total hunk sitting over by plant,” especially if Daniel Craig is involved. Though why he’d be sitting by a plant instead of saving the world, I don’t know…

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  2. LMAO at: Man takes free thing he doesn’t want

    Good to hear that your mil is getting better. Will be keeping her in my prayers for her strength to keep improving.

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  3. I’m stuck on the woman in supermarket imagining bagger with a happy life. Apparently, if imagination is necessary, the bagger in question appears most unhappy. And if it the narrative merits a headline, it’s obviously a situation that is all too common. Why are we becoming such a disgruntled nation? What do we have to be so miserable about? It’s difficult to find people in positions of service – whether in the grocery store, post office, doctor’s building, etc. – who actually appear helpful and happy to be so. Sad.

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  4. It’s been an insanely busy week here in Cuenca. I can barely keep up.

    It will be hard to top your combo.

    “Fog machine excites local politician, whose event ends in a boner.”

    Oh well, I tried.

    Congrats on tackling the leaves, by the way.

    Hugs from Ecuador,
    Kathy

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    • Kathy,
      Oh my … I can see the politician entering the campaign rally with a fog machine. Brilliant!

      Regarding the leaves, I think we’re getting close to peak leave-fall rate. I looked at my front yard thinking, “And I mowed/collected yesterday?”

      Hi to Juan.

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  5. Frank, great news about your mother-in-law …. I must have missed something, because I don’t know where Daniel Craig popped up – but I wouldn’t mind if he .. popped up over here too. *smile Looking forward to your video release. Onion wasn’t really up to it this week … or it’s maybe me that isn’t susceptible *smile

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  6. Good morning Frank! I’ve a few for you –

    Proud area man doesn’t want to party with politician at local event, perfectly content sitting over by naturalist woman.

    Excited local man imagines free fries, takes entire supermarket.

    Local man is happy with role of plant at children’s retreat.

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  7. Excited area woman at supermarket is perfectly content with stupid free fog machine that didn’t work. Glad you’re mom-in-law’s health has improved, and I’m looking forward to the hand bell video. 🙂

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  8. Late again, sorry. My favorite original is “Man takes free thing he doesn’t want” because I have to admit I’ve done this myself once or twice 😦
    On the remakes I’m with you on the stupid politician theme,
    “Stupid Politician excited by Total hunk dance comes out at party”

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