On Satire Bits: Vol. 80

The cold blast is in the process of celebrating Elvis’s birthday by leaving the building. Well, that’s for me, but the US east coast is still feeling the blast.

How your week going so far? Mine has been a bit hectic, thus why you haven’t been making my rounds as much this week.

A reminder to all that the next post is Time: The Musical (Act 12). With Seasons as the theme, song title must include season(s), fall/autumn, winter, spring, or summer in the title – but not in the form of a compound word as summertime. Something else to mull over, be careful of using fall in a context that isn’t a season. Curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 PM (Eastern USA).

It’s time for the first mid-week dose of satire of 2014! It’s also the first opportunity to accept the creative challenge by forming your very own original satirical headline. But, here’s the twist to the challenge – You can only use the words in the headlines below. My original combo is at the end of the live.

Have a good rest of the week!

Terrified Obama inside healthcare.gov

Woman builds ironclad case proving Mila Kunis look bad without makeup

Billboard alerts drivers to existence of situation comedy starring stand-up comedian Jerry Seinfeld

Apple unveils panicked man with no ideas

New poll finds Americans view death of close relatives more favorably than Congress

Department of Agriculture locates perfect goat

Hostage freed after tense 7-minute standup set

Intricacies of meal plan discussed

Boardroom table a complex web of feet massaging genitals

Dad actually yelled at that guy

David Bowie asks Iman if they should just do lasagna again

Nobody knows what third light switch does

My Combo: Hostage terrified of panicked goat massaging genitals for 7 minutes