Unbelievably, a warm wave has bestowed itself upon Cincinnati. In order to accommodate the melting water, over the past two days I’ve chipped away at the ice blocking the water flow … and hooray … it’s moving! The rest of the week will also provide some rain … maybe even storms … so now I wonder when the flood waters will arrive. Although I’m high and dry, I grew up in a river town that flooded.
The phone has dominated my last two days with necessary conversations with movers, utilities, our accountant (it’s tax season), banks, deliveries, and others. When I’m on hold, I kill time by packing some items.
Enough of my week, how’s yours going?
For those needing a chuckle, here’s your mid-week collection of satire courtesy of The Onion. For the daring, rise to the occasion of using the information in these headlines to form a new headline. My combo is at the end.
Have a good rest of the week!
Man doesn’t need to have fun to drink
Local company now 95% interns
Buddhist extremist cell vows to unleash tranquility on West
Man doesn’t know how parents ever going to payoff massive student loan debt
Man upset with girlfriend changes profile picture back to truck
Parents finally cave in and buy 33-year-old son PlayStation 1
Lunch rebuilds friendship ruined at last lunch
Report: Fritz a fine name for a boy
Man confidently hits “Send” on worst job application company ever saw
Individuals unaware they constitute area man’s support network
Man unknowingly purchases lifetime supply of condoms
My Combo: Fritz the Buddhist vows tranquility with lifetime supply of condoms
A Frank Angle 
Warmer weather, ice melts, cleared drains, packing, taxes and Fritz the Condom Carrier….it just keeps getting better and better…
You so make me smile…and spew morning coffee from time to time.
Keep up the good work, aFA.
Sincerely, Jots.
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Jots,
Causing coffee spews is one of the high praises I appreciate receiving. Although temporary …. 50s today + 60s tomorrow = welcome relief … Meanwhile, keep smiling!
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We almost had lunch at Skyline Chili today, and I thought of you. But we opted on the Olive Garden instead. Maybe next week.
I, too, am looking forward to the warmer weather. Yeehaw!!
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Carrie,
Almost Skyline means the thought is still in your head … so hopefully next week. Glad I came to your mind with a Cincinnati favorite, and you get another chance today if you want to celebrate Chocolate Mint Day with some Graeter’s. Although it’s temporary, cheers to some warmth!!!
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Yes, I was all excited for the day or warmer weather coming our way, only to hear freezing temps would be back next week. Super.
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It’s still February, and we know how March can be. So, I’m taking this for what it is, and that it’s not opening day of spring!
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I am not exactly looking forward to the rain, the melting and the slush in the days ahead, Frank. I heard on the news this evening that these warm temperatures will be temporary and the freezing cold will be back next week. Forgive me for sounding like I’m quoting a passage out of Debbie Downer’s gloom and doom playbook, but this long winter is taking a toll on me psychologically. I will take leave of your site now to go outside to punch a snowman.
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Lame,
Yes … cold returns next week, but I don’t think it’s the frigid stuff! Meanwhile, maybe Debbie Downer is pumped-up for spring allergy season.
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You mentioned it first but thoughts about that misery have been lurking in the shadows of my mind.
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Although I’m currently not bothered by the spring pollen, I know it’s one of the burdens you carry. So the the choice between frigid temps and clogged sinus is horrible … and oh my my … and then to follow by living in the summer oven … Dang .. .the miseries never end.
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Seasonal allergies seem to wallop my colleague, Godsend, more severely than me, but the oven is a key source of my summertime suffering. That’s the time to hook up with a new Special Someone.
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Big YUK for Godsend. In terms of the summer hook-up, I would assume AC would be one of the criteria.
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It’s right up there with good hygiene.
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1A & 1B.
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Sounds like we’re having the same exact weather.
I’m beside myself with glee anticipating above freezing weather.
And – dare I say – a day over 50!
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Guapo,
Except for your dose of nor-easters, my weather report probably serves as your soothsayer. For us, 50s today … 60s tomorrow. Yikes!
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I’ll comment in the same Onion fashion about my week: Local man is sad that season for skiing on Main Street is almost over.
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X,
Consider submitting that to The Onion! 🙂
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We went to Kansas City over the weekend. Nice town. Ate some good food at BBQ, Mexican, and Vietnamese. Toured the Boulevard Brewery free with 4 free samples. Nice folks there.
Headline…
Buddhist in cave rebuilds truck unaware as girlfriend purchases 33-year-old condom.
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Jim,
Welcome back from a safe journey. KC is a city for good eats! … and the local brew craze is interesting. Did you encounter any bad weather? Meanwhile, just another example that the general public doesn’t know much about what’s happening in caves.
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Bad weather? As we approached Des Moines on the way to KC, it started to snow heavily. That continued through DM and halfway to KC. While in KC, it was nice in 40s. On our way home it was clear until we got 30 miles from home. Earlier in the day 6″ of new snow had fallen on town. I figured to have snow blowing to do upon arrival. But…next door good neighbor Paul had done it for me. We gave him a bottle of good wine as thanks. He didn’t hesitate to accept it.
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I asked because I was recalling some bad weather on the news, thus wondered about your travels. At least your journey was safe …. and cheers to neighbor Paul’s effort and reward!
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Yes, as you well know, winter travel in the mid-west often needs to be sandwiched between weather events. It can be a challenge.
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Your success must have been due to the navigator.
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She is a good one. We trade roles as we share the driving. Being an astute amateur meteorologist helps, too.
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Cheers to Melanie!
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“Man doesn’t need friendship hits “Send” to payoff massive supply of condoms”
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Bulldog,
The guy has an interesting view of friendships!
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LOL…
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Thanks for the chuckles as this week wears on. I will think spring for you!
Report: Upset Buddhist extremist purchases tranquility with a lifetime supply of condoms at last lunch.
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Patti,
I imagine our next 6 weeks will be up and down – but time will tell. As Christians have a Last Supper, I didn’t realize Buddhists have the Last Lunch.
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I always knew Buddhists were shady
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GFB,
Tranquility and extremist are a shady combination.
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Most def!
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Gosh, I hope you don’t get flooded. I’d heard about the warm weather and thought about that possibility immediately. Good luck with the packing.
Hugs from Ecuador,
Kathy
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Kathy,
As you know, warmer weather during this time can bring rain and storms. Had rain last night … more forecaster for tomorrow. Meanwhile, time will tell.
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Nothing can beat your combo, Frank!!!! 😆
PS – don’t forget the wine especially during those times ‘on hold’!
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Marina,
I have several bottles that need to be emptied, so I am happy to report that I’m willing to accept that obligation! Have a good rest of the week.
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Exactly! It’s a win win thing -or 2 in 1! 😉
You too!
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Having just completed my weekly AFRANKANGLE “What Sticks To The Wall Onion Headliners Scan Test,” the winner based upon (1) irony, (2) word efficiency, (3) the Stranded On A Desert Island Effect, and (4) the chances of hearing it on SNL’s WEEKEND UPDATE, is: “Local company now 95% interns.”
Also wanted you to know that this group of Onions was one of your very best, and that the top pick barely nudged out “Man upset with girlfriend changes profile picture back to truck.”
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Tim,
Cheers to The Onion and their work because I have the easy part of writing them down to share. Thanks for sharing your fav and your criteria.
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My husband has also cleared the catch basins around our house because the “weather people” are warning us of two systems colliding to form a massive rain storm here. In other news, hubby and I will be taking a trip to Jamaica to assist in overcoming the winter blues we are both suffering from. The neat thing about the trip, is I will get the opportunity to meet and have coffee with one of my Twitter friends.
My combo: Man’s support network purchases lifetime supply of condoms. (Not an exciting combo, but as you know, condoms are high on my list of purchases, lol).
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Catherine,
Hooray for getting a chance for a getaway. Never been to Jamaica, but hey …. a treat of warm weather will do you good! Meanwhile, your inclusion of condoms wasn’t a surprise! 😉
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I was just having a conversation with someone this morning about what’s going to happen when our 3-foot snowpack melts (our warm weather starts tomorrow). Then again, people complain when it’s cold, then they complain when it warms up… it’s no wonder we fill our days in climate-controlled houses, cars, and buildings.
On that note, here’s my combo (sorry, can’t resist being a little bit existential):
“95% of individuals upset with lifetime of tranquility”
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Twixt,
As a whole, gotta agree. Then again, great minds think alike! 😉 … and your combo is perfect accompaniment to your comment. Well done!
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See, Frank, I told you Joplin was sending weather relief! 😀
Tranquility of West upset by picture of extremist Buddhist.
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Jim,
Many thanks … as a matter of fact, the local weather report called it the Joplin Warm Wave. Meanwhile, many are wary of extremist Buddhists.
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Your combo is my favorite. We need some unleashing of tranquility here in the West, and maybe condoms are the answer! Who knows?
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Angela,
Glad you enjoyed my combo. You may have led to a catchy slogan … TTC …. Tranquility Through Condoms … I foresee a billboard campaign.
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Ha! Love it!
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Do you think your campaign should be a big hit in our state?
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Not sure. Boehner is from Ohio, right?
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Oh yes … not only is he from Ohio, his district is one the other side of town.
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I always call him The Great Tanned One. At the State of the Union, sitting behind Obama, he’s always darker than the President! All that golf, I guess.
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I think he has owns a tanning bed. I believe his wife is also that way.
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Buddhist extremist cell vows to unleash tranquility on West–I like this. I’d support the movement! I hope the planned move, all the packing and the dozens of things that need either canceling/shutting off or moving to a new address, are not too overwhelming. Perhaps it’s simply about pacing, but moving is a huge job. I look forward to when you can share that it is all accomplished! Having a fine week here, Frank. Nothing too extreme, just always moving–but not my address. 🙂
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Debra,
The unleashing of tranquility would e perfect for your blog! Because I have the time, I’ve got the lead on many of these items. Today I talked to the electric and water companies … but watched the US-Czech hockey game … however, I laid-out a blanket so I could wrap-to-pack some objects. We’re not moving for 4 weeks, so we still have plenty of time.
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Man sends 95% of girlfriend condoms to Buddhist extremist to pay off PlayStation 1 support network.
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John,
Oh my … what a connection!
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Hope the weather betters, Frank, and the floods stay away. We need calm now.
I like this: ‘Buddhist extremist cell vows to unleash tranquility on West’.
Here’s my attempt: Local company vows to buy 33-year-old student loan debt. It sounded funnier when I thought of it…
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Tom,
Tomorrow’s temps are supposed to be even warmer, but with potential storms later in the day. Should be interesting to see the river levels this weekend. Meanwhile, your local company is quite involved in the community. Such a humanitarian effort!
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My life has been on hold these past two days as I’m not feeling well.
I went to the doc yesterday & got antibiotics. Turns out I have a sinus infection.
My combo: Buddhist extremist cell vows to payoff massive student loan debt with lifetime supply of condoms
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RoSy,
Lifetime condom supply as collateral is a brilliant idea! Meanwhile, you must be feeling a bit better … so I hope you the crud goes totally away soon.
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Very excited by the idea of temps above freezing!
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Audra,
The last two days here have been wonderful and a welcome change … and warmer tomorrow. Enjoy!
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Happy belated birthday! I tried to leave a comment but the screen kept freezing. Sorry I’m late :). Hope it was a good one.
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Many thanks! The day was actually very dull, but given the situation, it’s understandable.
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Frank, it’s good to see you. I feel like I’ve been gone for months. Are you moving? I just came back from Southern California where it was absolutely balmy! Summer weather. Shorts and really nice breezes. But you can send some of that rain! We need it so bad!!
Here’s mine: Parents finally cave in to Buddhist extremist cell and buy 33-year-old son Fritz PlayStation 1.
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Amy,
Glad to see you make on the circuit! Yes … We are moving in mid-March … but it’s a local move of about 6 miles or so. But we’ve been in this house for 27 years, so we have our share of stuff.
I guess you didn’t get the recent Pineapple Express. As I like to say, if an area is too cold, another is too hot. If too much rain, somewhere else it’s too dry. …. and I know that too dry isn’t good in California!
Meanwhile, parents caving in to outside pressure usually doesn’t deliver good results.
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Wow, 27 years Frank! That’s amazing, and I’m know that will be a very involved move. Best of luck with it.
It’s really so dry…I’ve never seen it so dry here. I just drove up and down the state on a trip and saw it all with my eyes. It’s a dust bowl.
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27 years also means more stuff! Fortunately, we’ve been tossing things the past 6 months … and no kids.
I know that your state is a naturally dry state, so dry for dry is very dry!
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27 years means lots of stuff, yes! I can’t imagine. You will be busy.
So dry…the weather is gorgeous, but it comes at a price!
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It sounds like you’re very busy, Frank! (I hate tax time…I wait until April 15 every single year..) I’m very glad you did finally get some warmer weather, though!
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Hood,
Busy for sure, but some of it is because we’re trying to get ahead of the game … so that stuff will payoff in the long run. Although the warm temps are temporary, I’ll take them.
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Upset man, unaware girlfriend now a boy, finally going to have 95% fun.
Hope the packing goes well. I must start soon. 🙂
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Sylvia,
Wow … that could be the first-ever transgender combo here! When do you return to Paradise?
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Hehehe. We leave on Wednesday next week. Lots to do before then.
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I’m sure … but I look forward to your posts from there.
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Sick as a dog–that’s how I am, and pissed as all get out with this winter that won’t go away which means my croup won’t go away. (I may write a blog about this if I can keep from following asleep on my computer as snot globs up my keyboard.) Sigh. Happy Birthday, by the way, my friend. I left you a happy birthday greeting on your FB page on the actual day. Best wishes!
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E-Tom,
Bummer on the croup sticking around like Old Man Winter. I imagine your past few days has been a welcome relief. Meanwhile, thanks for the birthday greeting … and for the scoop on FB … so I raced over to reply to all the messages … now I can go back to ignoring FB.
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Enjoy the warm spell while you can and I hope the flooding isn’t overwhelming. we had a few days with little to no rain, but from the looks of the clouds today the rain is back. Good luck with the move. I did that last September. um, it was, ur, fun
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TBM,
The warm spell is a treat. Some storms currently in the area, but the more so this evening. Still more snow to melt. Thanks for the best wishes.
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Frank at last I am able to spend a little time upon your blog.. I have had several of your post flagged up for attention in my email box,..
I love the humour on this post.. and this line made me chuckle~ Man upset with girlfriend changes profile picture back to truck…
Hope to get to back track a few of your posts 🙂 now 🙂 Sue
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Sue,
The middle of the week is a good time for a chuckle … and The Onion can deliver!
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it’s nice having some warm weather and rain for a change. how about “Good man finally rebuilds a PlayStation 1 for 33-year-old son.” ha-ha!!
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Sun,
Nothing like a humanitarian stepping forward to help someone in need!
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You have the winner again. It’s not easy to avoid a word like ‘condoms’ and just to prove it
Man to have fun with girlfriend unaware upset 33-year-old son ruined supply of condoms
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Fasab,
Gotta agree about the avoidance … meanwhile, maybe that’s what the dad gets for having a son that age at home.
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