Storms rolled across the central US earlier this week, so rain came to Cincinnati -but at least we avoided the severe weather. I recently heard a report that more tornadoes occur in the US than any other country. Did you know that?
I hope your week has gone well so far. Errands, mostly move related, continue to dominate my to-do list. Interestingly, my post for yesterday wasn’t ready, and hooray … I didn’t panic! Meanwhile, the next post is Life: The Musical, with Act 3 featuring songs with first names in the title … so get your songs ready as curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 PM (Eastern US).
Your mid-week satire is below, so hopefully something will give you a chuckle. Do you have a favorite? For that extra challenge, make your own headline from the words in the headlines below. My combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.
Embed from Getty ImagesElite congressman trained to kill legislation in 24 different ways
Expressing deeply held political opinion referred to a “gaffe”
Neighborhood much safer since mayor vanquished fire troll
Area man’s emotional state completely dependent on outcome of sporting event
Study: Exposing yourself in produce section still frowned upon by society
American obesity traced to one heavy-set Mayflower passenger
Unclear if grandma just friends with 81-year old widower
Humans display highest cognitive abilities when trying to retrieve object dropped between car seats
Study find Earth located in lamest part of universe
All of man’s time-wasting websites exhausted before lunch
My Combo: Lamest congressman exposes fire troll
A Frank Angle 
“Unclear if grandma trained to kill 81-year old widower”—They say her hands aren’t as steady as they used to be… 😉
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Carrie,
Oh no … hope this doesn’t happen at the senior center!
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It would certainly add some excitement to the atmosphere.
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… and the senior center has sparked the idea for my Friday OITS video!
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Hopefully the video will be murder-free. 😉
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Oh yes … guaranteed to bring smiles.
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Glad you didn’t panic, Frank. We are having torrential downpours right now so we may lose power any minute no
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It was very cold and rainy here in the Big Apple today, Frank. So cold in fact the heat was back on in my building! That was discombobulating! I’m selfishly glad you didn’t publish yesterday because I’ve fallen behind on my reading. I have a lot going on this week, but I should be around for tomorrow’s post. Already thinking about songs.
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Lame,
On the oh-no, I recall that the heat will be really on in the approaching months. Meanwhile, plenty of songs for the pickings … heck, I’ve changed the opening act several times.
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Expose yourself one time in a produce section and all the scientists get together to show that is must be bad for society… sheesh.
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Trent,
I still don’t believe it!
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The gaffe rings true
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GFB,
I imagine UK politicians aren’t prone to gaffes.
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This island is a gaffe free zone! Ho hum….
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Wow …. that aspect never made to the the colonies!
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One MP has just resigned because he took bribes to ask questions in Parliament about Fiji no longer being in the Commonwealth. The fool!
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Then he gets want he deserves.
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I have been following the severe weather that has hit the USA on CNN… it is terrible the destructive power of the tornadoes…
Neighborhood much safer since mayor trained to kill in 24 different ways.
American obesity traced to one grandma friends with 81-year old widower.
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Bulldog,
I (for one) didn’t realize that tornadoes were such a US event … meanwhile, cheers to the mayor for taking pride in the community.
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Elite congressman exposing deeply held political opinion referred to a “gaffe”
We avoided all the weather here in North Texas which is unusual. I am so sorry for those who lost their loved ones in this round of weather. It seems to be getting worse.
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Val,
Isn’t “elite congressman” an oxymoron?
Tis the season for the crazy, violent weather … and it’s always scary and sad.
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“Elite”, I considered this one but then I thought there really are some of these, the untouchables, the ones that seem to skate.
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81-year-old grandma exhausted when trying to retrieve vanquished Mayflower passenger.
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Sylvia,
That grandma is a hero!!!
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It is true the tornados are [MUCH] more common in the US than anywhere else, especially in terms of severity… Not to make light of what is a true tragedy for many, but I do think it is ironic that a country with a long history of blaming natural disasters on divine wrath incurs so many natural disasters itself.
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Twixt,
Thank you for reminding me about Pat Robertson.
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Lamest legislation traced to obesity, exposing time-wasting mayor.
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Jim,
Lame legislation … now there’s a novel thought.
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Right, Frank. And lame legislation is not just imaginary. After our Democrat governor vetoed a similar attempt a year ago, the Republican-dominated Missouri legislature is again considering a bill to deny unemployment benefits to employees who are fired for “misconduct”, that being defined as:
What rules and standards might apply in any given case is apparently left to the creativity of of employers – the mind boggles at the possibilities. Apparently the party of small government doesn’t mind using government power to keep the rank and file docile. 🙂
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One would also think that the party of lesser government wouldn’t be putting their nose into the business of others … OH … that’s right … it’s a way of cutting expenditures.
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Vanquished fire troll in produce section trying to retrieve grandma.
I’m not sure I completely understand Life The Musical is going to work?
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Catherine,
It seems the fire troll was trying to roast some vegetables in the store!
For Act 3 (Life: The Musical), find a song that includes a first name in the title … A Boy Named Sue … Johnny B Goode …. etc … However, no duplicate of the songs, but also no duplicate of the names used by readers in the comment. … Oh … once you have a song, paste a link to a video of it in the comments. EASY!
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Okay, thanks Frank.
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My combo: Exposing yourself in produce section can resolute in all man’s time-wasting websites exhausted before lunch.
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Viveka,
You are truly a problem solver!
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Feel almost guilty about the weather here. Horrid and 95 Monday-but now bright, clear, and cooool. SO rare. Chamber of Commerce weather. We missed this batch of storms…we’ll get some of the others.
Names in the title? hmmmm
Trained to kill political troll, completely frowned upon by society, traced to one heavy set grandma trying to retrieve the lamest study of all man’s time wasting websites.
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Mouse,
Your combos are brilliant … Heck, I was howling at “Political troll completely frowned upon by society” … then again, that’s real life.
Glad you didn’t get the storms!
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Your sentence challenges are always a hoot
Hurrying to get plants in flower beds before the heat returns. Poor Florida – water water everywhere.
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And you raise to the occasion with the challenges!
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Humans display highest cognitive abilities in lamest part of universe.
It has been WINDY here for about four days, Frank. Feels like Fort Collins has been transported to Wyoming where the wind blows non-stop. It’s supposed to calm down Friday.
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Cathy,
The current weather pattern has create it’s share of havoc. Meanwhile, your headline is true!
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I heard about the terrible tornadoes…looks devastating, Frank. My fave headline this week: Study find Earth located in lamest part of universe…
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Kayjai,
But we know St. John’s isn’t lame!
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Oh – A song with a name…So many out there. Which to pick?
I have a few in mind. But – will see which one I choose. It depends what’s already there by the time I make my appearance. 🙂
I thought that we were the country with the most tornadoes. But – didn’t know it to be a fact.
My fave: Area man’s emotional state completely dependent on outcome of sporting event. (I know this man!)
My combo: Grandma much safer since killing congressman.
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RoSy,
Hmmmm …. Neil Diamond’s Cracklin’ Rose?
That a way grandma!!!!
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The statement “Area man’s emotional state completely dependent on outcome of sporting event” is not satire; Just ask the bruised and beaten at a soccer match or an NFL football game.
The weather gnomes tell us that severe weather is on the increase. Something tornado stricken areas do not want to hear.
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Mudge,
As a sports fan, I can relate to the emotional toll of big games. As they say … the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Meanwhile, weather gnomes should be a title when the display the reporter’s name on TV.
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One radio announcer – with a bite to his voice – called them “weather poodles.”
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Oh my … that’s too good …. sounds like words from a Brit. (Was it?) Excellent!
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No, it came from an American announcer – a bit pompous, but in a humorous way – on a classical music station.
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From a classical radio station of all places. What a hoot!
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Understanding that I sound like the nincompoop, “Study finds Earth located in lamest part of universe” wins out today in a close call with “Humans display highest cognitive abilities when trying to retrieve object dropped between car seats.”
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Tim,
You would need a fair dose of alcohol to sound like Nincompoop.
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Lots of wet in NYC for the next few days.
Meh.
I thought it was already established in the Hitchhikers Guide that Earth was in an unregarded backwater of the cosmos?
(And now I’m ashamed that I can’t remember the whole quote. Time to reread!)
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Guap,
Yep … you are getting what we got. Then again, compared to the Florida Panhandle, we got off easy.
I recall that you love the Hitch Guide …. hope you can make the musical.
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I’m still trying to figure out how I missed Act Two!
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Probably work related … there’s a link to it in Act 3
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I can’t improve on this one! American obesity traced to one heavy-set Mayflower passenger. My favorite!
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Debra,
And that’s something we didn’t learn when studying the Pilgrims!
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Grandma trained to kill congressman in 24 different ways, traced. 🙂
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Marina,
I’m cheering for grandma!
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😉
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I just love that photo! Frank.. and yes I had a brill week … And loved my chuckle.. Grandma got me!.. 🙂 … Way to go girl… 😉
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Sue,
For these posts, I’ve been tapping into Getty Images … a great resource. Cheers to your love for Grandma!
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I’m late, I’m late,
time-wasting Study find Humans display highest obesity before lunch
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Fasab,
Never late … but you have just determined a key reason for obesity.
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