On Satire Bits: Vol. 95

In the words of Fat Albert, “Hey, Hey, Hey … It’s Hump Day!”

Hope your week is off to a good start. I just returned from golf league, where I had my steady game tonight – so it’s always good to score well.

Reminder, that the next post is Act 4, Life: The Musical featuring song titles that include young, youth, kids, child, or children. Curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 pm (Eastern, US) … so get your songs ready.

Below is your mid-week dose of satire courtesy of The Onion. As always, those desiring a challenge can develop a new headline by using the words in the headlines below. My “combo’ is at the end.

Enjoy and have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

Nation’s limo drivers spend magical prom night playing scratch-off lottery tickets in parking lot

Activists release horrifying video showing how meat products are eaten

Poll finds only 83% of New Yorkers visit Statue of Liberty every day

Food Network star realizes police immediately look for body in giant pile of mashed potatoes

Small business still manages to mistreat workers like large corporate chain

Fan on jumbotron waits until last second to wave

Take-out bag feels light

Mom packs encouraging note in own lunch

Unemployed man vows to get up early, finish watching movie

Carlos Santana surprises wife with coupon for free 45-minute guitar solo

My Combo: For magical night, Carlos Santana vows guitar solo on jumbotron to wife for encouraging unemployed small man to spend night in giant pile of take-out mash potatoes