Happy Hump Day to all. How’s your week going so far?
Since returning from the weekend trip, I’ve returned to my water superintendent duties for our building … which means I move hoses and sprinklers for several hours as our we and another couple in our building are assisting the builder so we can get a green grass environment … Plus, I’m trying to catch up on my blogging from the missed weekend.
Just returned from the golf course, and I was happy with my overall play tonight. Rest of the week has a variety of events scheduled, along with more watering. Then again, maybe mother nature will help out with some natural rain.
Because I haven’t given an eye update in some time, the issue still exists … but all is stable. I don’t see the retina specialist for another 5 weeks, so unless something drastic happens between now and then, it’s wait and see.
Moving on to your midweek dose of satire, as usual, the satirical headlines below are courtesy of The Onion. I’m always curious to discover when you have a favorite. For those ready to accept the extra challenge, create your own “combo” headline by using only the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week!
Embed from Getty ImagesCriminal prosecuted to fullest extent of budget
Meat prices skyrocket after cow smashing machine gets all beefed up
Legal Dream Team of co-workers counsel woman on strategy for speeding ticket
Friend takes liberty of ordering $40 of appetizers for entire table
Elderly man can’t wait for senility to erase lifetime of regretful memories
Each line of MasterCard billing statement evokes infuriating vacation memory
Two dozen restaurant patrons made violently ill from marriage proposal
Area idea so crazy it just might work
Snowden: NSA agents pass around nude photos
Report confirms no need to make new chairs for the time being
My Combo: Legal Dream Team prosecuted crazy cow for speeding and smashing nude elderly man in new chair
“Elderly man made violently ill from nude photos.”—I’m thinking Donald Trump and Joan Rivers were involved. Now THAT’S a photo I’d never want to see…
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That thought is precisely why you write thrillers, Carrie!
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Ha! You’re probably right. 🙂
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Ticket agents for Snowden team erase memory of nude restaurant patrons for MasterCard vacation billing.
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Nude cow senility evokes marriage.
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Report of crazy cow evokes fullest extent of infuriating criminal meat prices.
That’s the best I could do…LOL! And thank you for the update on your eyes…I’ve been thinking of you and wondering. I’m glad they aren’t worsening, Frank!
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Senility will be a balm
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I can imagine the animal rights movement having a filed day with this one: “Meat prices skyrocket after cow smashing machine gets all beefed up”. Cow smashing machine! Definitely a no-no.
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Crazy elderly restaurant patrons report appetizers to Snowdon
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Glad to hear that at least the eye issue is stable & not worsening.
My fave: Elderly man can’t wait for senility to erase lifetime of regretful memories
A close 2nd: Area idea so crazy it just might work
Your combo: That’s quite a visual!
My combo: Area idea evokes infuriating elderly man to marriage proposal.
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Look, if I end up like that elderly guy waiting to go senile, I want you to say something to me first.
I knew I should have gone to work for the NSA. Cause then no one would be watching my internet activity.
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NSA agents confirm billing statement for ordering cow for criminal.
There has been no need for us to water anything around here, it has rained far too much this summer.
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Of them all, I like your combo the best. 🙂
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Elderly man takes crazy liberty, infuriating nude woman on restaurant table 🙂
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Love the Onion headline: Elderly man can’t wait for senility to erase lifetime of regretful memories. For some reason that hit my funny bone. Glad to hear eye is stabilizing. It is a terrible thing to get old. Hope you do it better than I am doing it. Cheers!
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“Meat prices skyrocket after cow smashing machine gets all beefed up”…. LOL…. we could do with a few more cattle to revolt! .. They may teach us a few things.. 🙂
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Sue,
Now, I’m wondering about the impact of cow philosophers!
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🙂 lots of waste products are left on the floor Frank… so be careful where you step! 🙂 🙂
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Bwahahaha!!! This one! This one takes the prize: Two dozen restaurant patrons made violently ill from marriage proposal
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Vix,
Not sure if I’ve ever noticed a proposal while in a restaurant, but I love the headline.
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criminal prosecuted to fullest extent of the budget. that is so true.it makes me so mad,in the casey anthony case, the judge was in a hurry to pick the jury , because he was on some budget committee he said. …
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Errin,
Or the judge who has to catch of bus or whatever. Then again … the best satire is what seems so real.
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LMFAO~~ This made my freaking night, Frank!!! And of course, I have to put my favorite, which was this one: Elderly man can’t wait for senility to erase lifetime of regretful memories. That is priceless!! Hope you don’t mind, sharing this gem now!! 😉 xoxo ❤
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Hey Duo,
Of course I don’t mind sharing that gem … after all, it is a very good one!
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hope your eye situation is stable and not giving you any troubles. take it easy for now…chill and do nothing. that’s my mantra. ha-haaa. have a great week!! 🙂
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Sun,
The eye is stable … but issues still exists … I’ve got the feeling it will be with me for some time … but … see the retina specialist in a few weeks. Thanks for the concern.
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