Heeeeee Haw …. it’s the first mid-week dose of satire since returning from the blogging break!
Hope your week has gone well so far. Something odd happened to me on Monday. I was out and about during lunch, so thought I’d stop by Taco Bell for something fast. After ordering two items and a small drink, the clerk asked for $2.58 while handing me a small cup for my drink. Quick math told me that wasn’t right, but I obliged … then looked at the bill to see “Senior Drink $0.00”.
Cincinnati weather has been fabulous of late, which is great because our golf league is one of the few still playing. Both my partner and I played well Tuesday, so it will be interesting to see the standings going into next week’s finale.
Below the image is your dose of mid-week satire to deliver a mid-week boost toward the weekend. Which is your favorite? For that extra challenge, make your original headline by using the words below to make a new combination. It’s easy … focus on the nouns and verbs to get you started. My combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.
NASA announces plans to launch a chimpanzee to the Sun
Police department reduces cost by using same evidence for every investigation
Man confused by compliment from person whose career he can’t help
Person who will embalm you walking around out there
Voters clamoring to know if female political candidate a mother first
Man concerned he spread himself too thin between eating sandwich, watching television
Man in elevator in on conversation now
Man’s anxiety not about to let depression muscle in on turf
Area man knows exactly which relatives would be problem if he ever came into money
Roommates still don’t know each well enough to not speak
My Combo: Chimp plans to embalm political candidate who plans to launch mother in elevator to reduce costs
Man’s anxiety not about to let depression muscle in on turf…pure poetics
Senior drink…so does this make it official?
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Hudson,
I’ve been asked about Senior Rates at golf courses and where I get my haircut, and to be honest, it doesn’t bother me. On the other hand, when I told my wife the Taco Bell story, she laughed and cheered.
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Senior drink? Super. Something to look forward to. Not. I still get annoyed when the clerk calls me ma’am…
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Carrie,
At least the clerk didn’t ask me, thus just asked. The smaller cup is fine as it is both free and refillable.
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why did they put senior drink in ur bill?
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Winny,
I guess that means to the young clerk, I look old.
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no… i do not mean like that may be because senior junior
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LOL … I’m proud of my age (61) but many say I look younger … nonetheless, I accepted the clerks assumption (and to my surprise on the bill).
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It doest matter what people say, as long as ur happy frank,
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Man confused by police evidence knows to let relatives in elevator to speak about investigation.
🙂
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Debra,
That really happened!
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You can guess what hits me more than all 🙂 of course cats 🙂 and another one ” a chimpanzee to the Sun”…oh poor chimpanzee…
Thank you dear Frank, have a nice day, love, nia
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Nia,
Glad you found some amusement in these headlines. 🙂
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“Man confused by female walking around eating sandwich, watching television about to muscle in on conversation to launch a chimpanzee political candidate” … missed the Wednesday fun…
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Bulldog,
That’s a good one … glad to be able to release some of your Missing-Onion Anxiety! Well done!!!
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Oh gosh, I enjoyed this so much! You may have a new fan–I’ll “follow”.
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Ponder,
Welcome first-time commneter to my little corner of the world that also happens to be a respectful place. This is the normal Wednesday post, so come on back anytime!
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My favorite Satire Bit was “Area man knows exactly which relatives would be a problem if he ever came into money” because average folks need think about the problems of joining the 1%.
I also liked “Voters clamoring to know if female political candidate a mother first” because it reminded me of my favorite bumper sticker from my trip yesterday to Yellow Springs, OH, “Can we vote on YOUR marriage too?”
Also glad to hear that you got a $0.00 senior drink. Mark down that you’ll get another perk next Wed., Oct 1, at 9:40 am, with the senior rate at Stonelick Hills GC, in Batavia, OH.
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Tim,
Thanks for sharing your favs and the bumper sticker from your trip to Yellow Springs … now if only others here knew about that town’s colorful nature. Meanwhile, Stonelick it is!
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Are those “headlines” true? They can’t be…please tell me they’re not!
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Lorna,
Welcome first-time commenter … and I must say, you made me laugh. I am tempted to mettle with your mind, but I shall resist the temptation. Because I’m not sure were your location, The Onion is a wonderful site for satire in the USA, so I selectively collect their headlines to feature here on Wednesdays …. and a few also appear on Friday’s Opinions in the Shorts.
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Nice treat for you at Taco ~ have a great rest of the week Frank.
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Mary,
I’m one who doesn’t get hung up on aging … well … at least not yet … so I just laughed.
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I’m old enough now not to worry that people will look at me funny when I ask a stupid question, so here it is: why does anyone buy a large drink when you can keep refilling the small one?
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Cynthia,
Not a stupid question at all, and I’m totally with you on your point. In this case I asked for a small drink (using your logic), thus (… and surprisingly) got the drink for nothing … then the surprise when looking at the bill.
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Ah….I get it now…..BECAUSE you asked for a small drink, you must be a seasoned citizen….heh..heh..heh..
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Whenever in a place that has a self-serve machine, I always get a small for the reasons you mentioned … so yes … the free part was the surprise.
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NASA well enough to not speak.
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John,
With all the NASA layoffs, they may not have a spokesperson.
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NASA to know if man’s female depression would be a problem on the sun Also I remember when I ordered a small coffee at McDonalds and the price was $0.35. Senior cup. Thought I would die.
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John,
Just another example of NASA’s cutting-edge research.
Ah ha … someone who understands my incident. Was your cup refillable? (I wouldn’t know because I don’t drink much coffee).
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Yes, it was. I could have camped all day and would have had all the coffee I could drink not to mention catsup, mustard, cream and mayo.
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Nothing like a dose of sandwich condiments for one’s coffee.
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“NASA announces plans to launch a chimpanzee to the Sun” made me laugh out loud so it gets my vote. 🙂
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Robin,
Good reasoning!!!
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Police department confused by chimpanzee eating evidence in elevator still don’t know if he ever plans to help
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Fasab,
Good one …. and Ah ha … sounds like the Police Dept may regret hiring the chimp !
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I love your combo, Frank!!!!
NASA plans to launch a political candidate to the Sun whose career between eating sandwich, watching television spread depression to police department.
Honestly, “Senior Drink”?!!!!!!!!
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Marina,
Great combo … especially when involving doing something to a politician!
Yep .. the senior drink means – a) small cup, b) free, 3) and refillable as many as one ones.
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Senior’s drink eh, lol and you didn’t question her?
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Catherine,
No questions because I saw it on the bill … but I didn’t know that’s what it was until I saw the bill … thus I chuckled and moved on.
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Had something similar happen last week…bummer.
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Suzanne,
Oh come on now … laugh at it!
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Yes SIR!!
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🙂
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The man in the elevator keeps saying “Eleven!”
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Oh my my … thanks for the reminder … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ok4-Y_xQhbE
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Those cats are hilarious. It’s raining again, so we’re back to hibernating….
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Mouse,
Glad the pic caused a grin, but look again, dogs are also in the crowd. Meanwhile, stay dry …. and please send some rain toward Cincinnati.
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