On Satire Bits: Vol. 108

Depending when you read this, it’s either the last of September or the beginning of October – nonetheless, I say Hello October!

Being a new month you may have been expecting my toast to October,  but come on now … interrupt your mid-week dose of satire? But never fear, the October post is next.

My golf league is official over. It was a bit sad for me because today was our last night ever because the course that I’ve played for over 20 years is closing. Good news is that my partner and I are Second Half Champions, plus I think I also won an individual honor. Considering that my wife won her league, we are the House of Champions!

Reminder to all that I have a blog party on the docket for this weekend. The post will go live sometime after midnight Saturday (Eastern US) for the European morning, the Aussies and Kiwis lunch, and everyone else in between or earlier. I only host these when the occasion warrants, so hopefully my regulars will not only drop by, but hey … your friends are welcome.

Because it’s Astronomy Week, I dived into the deep, dark bowels of The Onion’s archives to find astronomy-related satire. Any favorites among these? For those wanting the combo challenge, make your own headline from the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Astronomers discover massive asteroid that could wipe out life on Earth, force Nordstrom out of business

Astronomers admit making up Neptune

NASA to send Earth into space

Astronomer discovers black hole at center of own marriage

Intelligent, condescending life found in distant galaxy

Study finds Earth located in lamest part of universe

Mean scientists dash hopes for life on Mars

Astronomers say Earth’s overpopulated crisis will soon be solved by heroic meteor

Chicken-shit asteroid veers away at last minute

Extraterrestrial nerds contact Earth

Hubble Kaleidoscope finds evidence of space looking all crazy (Image below)

My Combo: Extraterrestrial discovers condescending life on Earth 

Image from The Onion

Image from The Onion

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59 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 108

  1. Frank, you’re killin’ me! I’m sick with a temporary bug, and it hurts every time I laugh–which was each item on the list. My faves were “lame Earth” and the “black hole in marriages”–priceless. Hey, is the blog party pot-luck? What can I bring?

    Like

    • Ponder,
      The fact of knowing that you are laughing even when sick just made my day. After all, that’s the intend of this series.

      The only thing to bring to the party is yourself (and friends if you wish) as I supply the venue, the food, the entertainment, the drinks … woo hoo!

      Like

    • Lame,
      Excellent way to start my morning … and I even edited to embed that one! Many thanks. Interestingly, that has happened before, we think 2 or 3 years ago. Meanwhile, I think I’ll add some fireworks.

      Like

  2. You are indeed ‘The Champions’!! Good call Ms Lame Adventures! I suspect that the Hubble Telescope is imbibing LSD on it’s days off! And I am thrilled to discover that we are in the lamest part of the universe – I have suspected as much on many occasions! Looking forward to seeing what you get up to on Saturday – it will be my first aFrank blog party 🙂

    Like

  3. Pretty slim pickings in your Onions this week, however “Intelligent, condescending life found in distant galaxy” did create a low grade controversy within my brain.

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  4. I really don’t know what’s going on here but,
    “crazy Astronomer discovers massive asteroid located in center of black hole that could dash marriage hopes for life”

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    • Fasab,
      If all those words are in the headlines (without me checking), you do know what is going on … well done! Hope you drop by this weekend … meanwhile, I’m way behind this week with only a glimmer of catching up.

      Like

  5. Congrats to you and your wife!
    Golf is something I’ve never try, I’ve gone several times with friends but I just watch and enjoy the booze.
    I’m looking forward to this weekend’s party, will be the only party I’ll attending in the next 2-3 months.
    This is my favorite headline: Study finds Earth located in lamest part of universe

    Like

    • Leo,
      Many thanks for the congrats … and the dual championships also happened several years ago. i know you’re spend a lot of time training and racing, so it will be great if you stop by sometime during the weekend. After all, blogs are 24/7.

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    • Sylvia,
      The league uses handicaps to level the playing field between players with different skill levels … so regardless of ability, it’s more about getting the job done. For instance I played well on Tuesday, but took a good beating from my opponent who played better than normal … and as I like to say, there’s no defense in golf. Meanwhile, now that’s a great combo!!!!

      Like

  6. Cheers and tears – sorry your course is closing. You do get comfortable with a place and it’s sights. (Hope it’s not going to be houses – now that would be so sad to walk down streets and say “Remember, Always had problem with that green there – and that water used to have ducks)
    Will try to schedule time to visit this weekend…but they say coo-ish is coming and if so, I’m outta here.
    Happy October to all!

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  7. Sorry to hear your Golf league is over.. now that must be a sad day if the course is closing.. 20 years is a long time to get to know all those nooks and dips etc.. … I enjoyed watching the Golf at St Andrews.. Where Europe did ok.. :-D… 🙂 Good to be catching you up again Frank.. 🙂

    Like

    • Sue,
      Going into the Ryder Cup, I thought the Europeans were the stronger team … and it showed! Meanwhile, our course is a special place .. .nothing fancy …. shorter than normal … but well groomed and great for all levels of players.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Now I have retired so to speak.. LOL.. Hubby suggested I get back into the Swing again.. I have all my clubs, shoes water-proofs the lot.. 🙂 I have had so many projects I have been doing, this last month has just flown by.. But I have said I will take it up again.. All the gardening and weeding along with hoeing and my muscles have stood the test :-).. So I am sure they can now stand the swinging of a 9 Iron 🙂 …

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  8. Congratulations to the House of Champions! 🙂 I’m looking forward to the party. My favorite today is: Mean scientists dash hopes for life on Mars. Mean scientists…lol! I’m not sure why that makes me laugh (maybe because I know a lot of scientists).

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    • Val,
      I must say that headline is a good one! Many thanks of the congrats. As for the next course, it seems that it’s going to be a place most suitable for goats – but beggers can’t be picky.

      Like

  9. NASA discovers astronomers looking all crazy in last minute panic at Nordstrom. 🙂

    It must feel a little odd to have your golf course closing, Frank. Is it going to be something else? It would be hard to just drive by a favorite place and see it sitting there unused! I hope to make it by your party before it is over, Frank. This is a big weekend for us…Jay has a BIG birthday and we are having a party along with family coming into town and all that goes with hosting. Oh, and the pièce de resistance? It is going to be over 100 degrees. LOL! If I’m running a fever it may be a long weekend. 🙂

    Like

    • Debra,
      Oh the craze that can happen at Nordstrom’s!

      My golf life will be different without my quaint little place to play … but time has it’s way of moving on … nonetheless, still sad.

      Seems you have a busy weekend ahead. Good news is that my party starts in your Friday evening, thus increasing your opportunity. Hope to see you. …. and Happy Birthday, Jay!!!!

      Like

  10. Pingback: Wrap it up! | Walk To Rio 2016

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