On Satire Bits: Vol. 109

I don’t know about you, but this week hasn’t gone as planned … not even close. Oh well, it happens. I initially planned the next act of Life: The Musical, but I didn’t provide the criteria on Monday. Once again, it happens – so I’ll push that into next week with hopes of remembering on Monday. That’s just an example of my blog life, but the first two days have been a bit more hectic than I planned. Oh well, it happens.

Enough of my week, how’s yours going so far?

On to your dose of mid-week satire to provide some humor to propel you toward the weekend. Below are headlines from The Onion. Is there one that you find the most humorous? For those wanting more of a challenge, try forming your own original headline with the words in the headlines below the pic. My combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

New Toyota “Driver Easy Speak” feature helps parents yell at children in back of car

Guy in front of you ordering for entire construction crew

Grandpa looking absolutely precious in new baseball cap

Nation’s gratuitously sexual couples announce plans to wait in line at amusement park

Doctors say average heart attack victim doesn’t clutch at chest nearly dramatically enough

Area man somewhat disturbed to think perfect woman for him out there somewhere

Study finds college still more worthwhile than spending 4 years chained to radiator

Open-minded man willing to look past Jennifer Lawrence’s flaws

New study finds running 20 minutes each day could add years of soreness to life

Man hates being in position to think, feel, and act

My Combo: Jennifer Lawrence find 20 minutes to think, feel, and act like grandpa


64 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 109

  1. I’ve been editing all day so am too tired (and my vision is too blurred) to create my own combo. But I love yours! Everyone should get to think, feel, and act like a grandpa at least some time. 🙂


  2. Milton and I did not see any films at the New York Film Festival on Tuesday nor are we going today, Wednesday. I feel like I’m in withdrawal. But we’ll be back Thursday through Sunday. That’s how my week’s been, Frank.


  3. Grandpa in new baseball cap doesn’t clutch perfect woman nearly dramatically enough for entire construction crew to look past Jennifer Lawrence’s flaws…..
    Did not know who Jennifer Lawrence was… if it is the actress google showed me … no flaws there that I could see….


  4. I was able to see the Blood Moon this morning – great way to start my day. Week is moving fast, don’t want time to slip away. Have a nice rest of the week Frank.


  5. Grandpa chained to radiator, looking disturbed, to think perfect woman plans to wait in line at amusement park.

    This week is going to fast, and with the impending Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend, I am not the least bit prepared for our Trash Can Turkey.


  6. Quite a good set of Onions today. Based upon my Afrankangle Onion Headlines: What Hit Me In The Face First evaluation system (loosely based on your “Design-Conditioning-Playability-Cost-Overall General Effect” golf course evaluation system), “New Toyota “Driver Easy Speak” feature helps parents yell at children in back of car” was my favorite, with “Open-minded man willing to look past Jennifer Lawrence’s flaws” in 2nd place.

    P.S. I’m on pins and needles wondering if Stonelick Hills made the cut on your lifetime Top 10 golf course list? (based upon your system)


  7. I am home again after 3 weeks away. A lot happened…too much to elaborate here. It was a good 3 weeks. And, it is good to be home.

    I saw and photographed the lunar eclipse this morning. It was a beauty. Post on it soon.


  8. Hi Frank! Week’s been busy — so glad tonight’s not the next act.

    I love this headline: New Toyota “Driver Easy Speak” feature helps parents yell at children in back of car. But really, I’m wishing Toyota would teach its drivers where the gas pedal is found in their cars — many drive maddeningly slowly!


  9. Open-minded man willing to think perfect woman for him out there somewhere and look past gratuitously sexual history

    Still in Mt. Vernon…getting colder. Love the houses here but haven’t seen much else.


  10. I do understand about a week not going as planned! Mine has been fine, but last week was so hectic I’m still tired. 🙂 I’m glad you gave yourself a little breathing room and just roll with the changes. I sometimes wonder how it is that any of us have time to blog! I’ll look forward to the musical next week.

    Average man finds position in back of disturbed guy at baseball park.


    • Debra,
      “Rolling with it” took me a while to truly believe it … and once I got there, it’s easy to embrace … and actually a bit of freedom! Then again, one never knows what can be encountered at the ballpark.


  11. “Study finds college still more worthwhile than spending 4 years chained to radiator” Really??? 😀 Love your combo Frank. Hope the rest of the week is less hectic.


  12. Thank you for your shared smiles Frank.. This week has flown by… I have been busy doing all sorts and feeling Iike I haven’t achieved much at all… But been resting in between the hectic bits.. Take care… and thank you for your humour.. 🙂


      • Oh I so so know what you mean Frank… I dedicated my day yesterday to finishing off my Black milk churn.. And spent time in the kitchen making Fresh tomato soup and baking an apple and raspberry pie.. Apples from my daughters garden and raspberries from the allotments.. Today for an hour trying to catch up with my lovely comment left.. Then I have my granddaughter this afternoon.. Life is full.. And that’s how it should be… I hope you enjoy your ‘Time Management Scheme’ 🙂 Hugs Sue


  13. Mine hasn’t gone as planned either. So – we are on the same boat. See me? I’m the whacko jumping up & down saying – Hey Frank – It’s me – RoSy!!! 😉
    Glad I didn’t miss the musical this week. Hope to catch it next week though.

    My fave: Grandpa looking absolutely precious in new baseball cap
    Made me think of my cute dad. He most always wears a baseball cap. 😀

    My combo: Doctors say average man hates being chained to Jennifer Lawrence for 20 minutes each day while running.


    • RoSy,
      Yep … you missed the musical because I didn’t announce it on Monday … so I’ve already included it on this Monday’s post! Meanwhile, sounds like the average man is too stupid to stop running in that situation!

      Liked by 1 person

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